hot boy

[rap95]

you think you are but you arnt boy
you snitchin runnin to the cops boy
you ain g stay out the hood boy

you think you hot but you not boy
you workin with the people so you not my boy
you tried to hop into the grown man game but u still a boy

i thought we was patnas we were tight
now i promise i see you we gon do more then fight
we was boys played with those .223 toys
we used to light up the night makin all kinds of noise
then one day you chose to speak on the kid you chose to speak on the game
shit you spoke on the gang you told the alphabet boys erthang
if you ever come back to the hood ill erase your name
i dont usually get my hands dirty thats something for the lil homies mayne
theyll knock you off for less then a p
and i grow so shit thats what you call murder for free
but your a special case i hope you run im down for a chase
i was a half back you were the quarter back im down for a foot race
i put you on i vouched for you and you did me wrong
i heard around in the hood but i didnt believe it till i seen video of u on the glass dong
they tried to give me life 500k on a lawyer i did half a year just fightin the case
i got peoples on gangland blood in blood out they held me down but the whole time all i could see was your face
if you ever see me again i will be holding a scythe metaphorically because im death
matter of fact i caught you in reno mall in another state the biggest little city seen the biggest hole in a mans chest.

[_Lyrics]

What up Whor! thought your opening bars were kind of chorus-like and had some trappy audio flow to them, felt like there was a lot more commercial potential there than what it was, i feel like the 6 lines should've been structured to 4, i'm not a big fan of end rhymes that are the same to be honest because they are really repetitive to read, and works much better in an audio realm. as the verse went on, i do have to say i was impressed, it wasn't the greatest writing, but honestly you kept on and didn't lose track of your content which is an important thing as a writer. I liked the rawness, snitches gonna get fucked up shit. flow started tight but lost zest as the lines grew without any multis to help carry the flow. thanks for the read!

[rap95]

What up Whor! thought your opening bars were kind of chorus-like and had some trappy audio flow to them, felt like there was a lot more commercial potential there than what it was, i feel like the 6 lines should've been structured to 4, i'm not a big fan of end rhymes that are the same to be honest because they are really repetitive to read, and works much better in an audio realm. as the verse went on, i do have to say i was impressed, it wasn't the greatest writing, but honestly you kept on and didn't lose track of your content which is an important thing as a writer. I liked the rawness, snitches gonna get fucked up shit. flow started tight but lost zest as the lines grew without any multis to help carry the flow. thanks for the read!

yoo whats up bro. ya your kinda right i ment for the opening six to b more chorus like i just threw it together real quick tryin to tell a story ya dig? i appreciate the feed back tho homie and also if u look at all my posts im not sure if i have any multis haha what is a multi? in all of my posts structure is what kills me man

[iLL ScriptureZ]

This came off like a trap/southern Louisianan Chingy type flow for me. I don't mean that in a disrespectful way, more like the flavor of it. For some reason I just had that south vibe when I started hearing it in my head. Straight 2000's feel. However, I do encourage you to try out some multi-syllable rhyme schemes. And to answer your question, multi's can be internal and/or external. They can be in the middle and/or at the end of a line. It really gives a verse smoothness and an elevated feel when executed correctly. I hope this can be of some insight, examples below:

Internal Multis
See iLL is rippin' the team that stands in front
Grippin' the beam that takes out this cunt

External Multis
Look at the different dyes I script wit
A sickness that carries a dying wishlist

Multis Internal & External
Peace keep? I re-lease a 3 piece then a clean sweep for disposal
Leave it PC for the for TV my mean streak's a repeat of Chernobyl