Group Therapy
Hello,
Some of you may be sitting at home munching a salad. Some of you may be getting paid to review shoes, while others may be primping in a Starbucks bathroom waiting to meet that guy you met on whichever dating site you may be using.Whichever it is, I am asking you to take two steps back and look into your own soul to ask one question-
Why?
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Chapter One- Evolution and You
You possibly have heard of the hierarchy of needs, often depicted as a pyramid listing in order the priority of needs based on the survival of individual and species. While the immediate survival needs of the individual such as nourishment and shelter reign dominant, procreation is one of the utmost basics in the function of a species.
However, the target audience of this written piece may fare better if more colloquial terms are used, to which I shall refer to "procreation" as having sex with the intent of reproduction. A species can only thrive as long as it is able to persist in existence, hence why living beings have formed two separate genders that are similar but different in regards to being able to procreate.
It is little known that there have been times in history when humankind was on the brink of extinction in different eras of time, but the collective nature of humans and the abandonment of hunter-gatherer nomad tactics into settlement and expansion had allowed or humankind to continue to thrive into the boom which was known as the Industrial Revolution, where mankind truly took hold as the alpha species, making the most impact on the planet's ecosystem unlike any species since the beaver.
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Chapter 2- Vice and Virtue
Beings of a higher degree of awareness often seek vices to help take the edge off: bears have been seen consuming jet fuel, dolphins have been documented ingesting pufferfish, and the very industry of mind-altering substances is a trillion dollar industry (arguably the strongest industry of non-essential product).
While the aforementioned industries bring to mind such substances as alcohol and illegal drugs, another aspect is the sex industry: humans and dolphins are the only two documented species on this planet that engage in casual sex purely for pleasure as compared to purely for survival of the species. As such, the concept of sex has branched into many different subsets, many of which can drive a person into deviant activities in order to satiate said urges.
This therapy session is here to help curtail the urges of slovenly deeds of one of said aforementioned subsets of of non-essential sexual behaviors that has wreaked havoc on this website- homosexuality.
Homosexuality is derived from the prefix homo, or same, and sexuality which defines sexual preference. Homosexuality is a non-essential activity but causes the affected to seek alternative forms of romance and relationships.
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Chapter 3- How This Affects Your Environment
This website was originally created with the intention to observe and celebrate the creative written and spoken expression through wordsmithery, but homosexuality had inserted itself into the agenda which in turn slowly began to mutate the nature of competition and even the overall lifeblood of the site.
The competitive context shifted from wielding of wit and creativity to a need to impress potential same-sex lovers and as such the honor of competition was eroded into a form of cronyism where lust and ego overtook crafting insightful and potent wordplay, much as consumerism and greed has overtaken commercialized hip-hop.
"Mr Elmsby, how dare you!", you may gasp. But take a look around at the manner of how affairs are conducted throughout every aspect and you will note the overall need to impress other men has taken the drivers seat. A firm wrist has lost its value in favor of plump, pouty lips on a man, and this essence can be spotted nearly everywhere.
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Chapter 4- How Can I Be Cured?
Some schools of science refer to the hierarchy of needs listed in chapter one to identify homosexuality as a disease, others will call it an alternative lifestyle. This therapy is not conversion therapy as frankly it is of little concern of what engorges your small penises, but rather to let it be a part of your life as compared to its current role as your dominant driving force.
Take a moment to assess why you originally registered on this website: the name "rapbattles" insinuates competition through lyrical jousts, and certainly that was your intention the moment you made the decision to create a profile here. Your first mission is to recall this.
The second mission is to recall the environment you were expecting the moment you had completed registration: surely your homosexual urges dictated your day to day functions off the website, but allowing them to control your actions here as a mass of people has altered the activities and even the perceived hierarchy in terms of site privileges and awards via a phenomenon known as "groupthink", which is defined as "a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome." This has mutated the very essence of the site.
Your third mission is to re-establish your own identity: This is 2017 and there are many means for you to meet men, as in you don't need to do that here. Keep the romance off of the leagues and out of competition; let battles be decided by real factors such as punchlines and relevance to opponents character, not by corny wordplays and "cute cock contests" held via private message. Take efforts to establish yourself as an individual and not just another gay flyboy looking to score some dick.
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Chapter 5: Rehabilitation
If you have followed these three steps, congratulations! This is the first step to reclaiming the original intentions of the site is to separate yourself from the toxic groupthink that has corrupted the environment. Your bravery is not to impress anyone as that was the original damning factor that led to dishonorable deeds, but to be able to hypothetically walk into a bar with men drinking wine coolers and order a rum and cola. The leagues, sections, and even members with enhanced site privileges are infested with wine coolers but now you have the awareness to put down the smirnoff ice and boldly walk to the bartender, ask for a rum and coke, and firm up that wrist!
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Closing Words
There are deeper steps that can be taken for rehabilitation, but most of you are likely to refuse help and may even view this with vitriol and disgust. While you may be adamant on being a "pecker smoocher", that is something you don't have to sacrifice as much as letting your love of cock completely dictate how you behave here.
I will be here to help reclaim RapBattles from the blatant and overt homosexual agenda that has besmirched it from what the original ideas and intentions once were.
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Originally Posted by Mr Elmsby
