late bloomer
washed
right ten lines due in 24 hour please checkin tonight drop tomorrow so we can get votes coming quicker please .....10 lines reg diss battle....... links are more important than checkins however we do regularly check and post links together actually...... so whichever way you want is allowed to take place...... good luck......
Reg battle
10 lines 3-0 ko first ta 5 tko
Due 24 hours (monday evening)
Both battlers have 24 hours to vote on the champ match and contender match.
2 other links are also required.
-Failure to provide links and the battle will be closed.
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Here
a labyrinth of power.....
Everything in this forum and the whole site know the deal
They think we weak but that just cause blooms knowledge hot as a beach
Spin your head round ya neck like aint deep enough ya line dont got no backup
My electricity blackout still got a stash tho rb need to leave my dog a bone for real yo
Right so syllable wise his rhymes weren't capable of cracking the chestplate
But never make it back to home plate average person eat three meals a day
Tried setting the line up before the line was created i wrote a few novels and dedicated
most it to a verse to acknowledge the facts of the battle but everything ya spit overrated
And lions sleep for more that 12 hours a day and already finished writing four or five bars
Still cant tell me nothing im a beef with ya but i aint trying to act cool or seem smart
..
Last edited by Notti; March 6th, 2017 at 02:41 PM
a labyrinth of power.....
sorry fucked this up........... i can post another thread if you want rewrite this shit....... its up to you i didnt mean to edit the verse three times feel me....... can we set up another battle and void this one @Washed i am not proud of this piece of writing please respond and let me know if i can restart the battle..... and ill write something up tomorrow night....... my bad i rushed this horribly thus the name late bloomer but im sure i can get something better up if you give me until next week but im going have rewrite this or else this battle is voided...
a labyrinth of power.....
Me lose to 2 Tripple O?
hell Freaken No
You come off as retarded... Still I won't go easy on you cuz this is war son
Fact is whenever we on RB see late text, we just wish his father would've worn one
2tripleO, late bloomer? boom boom boom n you'll have black eyes see I'm great
u try to copy my swagger I'm on that next shit now I'm so 3008 you're just 2000 n Late
Beat you with fergie lyrics.. But...
...This is the Internet so I won't front like I know you on a personal level n my word is cash
Cuz honestly I don't know if you're "takeN L"... <-- that's just what'll happen as a result of this match
Nobody like you faggot... Only you are capable of reading the truth n instead see hate
Truth is, groupies out fucking celebrities are the only ones who would wanna be late
Everything in this forum and the whole site know the deal
They think we weak but that just cause blooms knowledge hot as a beach
How does deal rhyme with beach?
Spin your head round ya neck like aint deep enough ya line dont got no backup
My electricity blackout still got a stash tho rb need to leave my dog a bone for real yo
What?
Right so syllable wise his rhymes weren't capable of cracking the chestplate
But never make it back to home plate average person eat three meals a day
At least you rhymed this time
Tried setting the line up before the line was created i wrote a few novels and dedicated
most it to a verse to acknowledge the facts of the battle but everything ya spit overrated
Nope
And lions sleep for more that 12 hours a day and already finished writing four or five bars
Still cant tell me nothing im a beef with ya but i aint trying to act cool or seem smart
No...
Okay, I'm going to try and help you. So this is the most feedback I'll probably ever give in a text battle. First of all, your structure. The first line is normally meant to be the set up line. So the ideal is to make sure it has something to do with the second line, including the rhyme. Example:
Notice how the second line picked up what the first line was building up? You don't want to have a bar that doesn't come together or hold any coherence otherwise it'll just make no sense and fall short. The second thing is, your rhyme scheme. Your first two bars didn't even rhyme man. You need to structure that shit out.Originally Posted by Born To Kill
AAAAB
AAAAB
If you feel confident, get some multies in there. Just make sure if you include multies, they have to make sense. Can really shoot yourself in the foot if the wording makes no sense for the sake of a rhyme. Try working on your wording too. Polish it up a bit. You don't want it to be really stretched out and you also don't want it to come off as rambling. My best advice would be to find the LLL/Lethal Lyricist League in the archived league forum. Go to the office subforum and find the LLL Hall of Fame Battles. Read up on some of those and get a clearer idea. It'll do wonders for you if you actually take it in.
vs.
Me lose to 2 Tripple O?
hell Freaken No
I'm going to do you a solid and just consider this banter
You come off as retarded... Still I won't go easy on you cuz this is war son
Fact is whenever we on RB see late text, we just wish his father would've worn one
lol
2tripleO, late bloomer? boom boom boom n you'll have black eyes see I'm great
u try to copy my swagger I'm on that next shit now I'm so 3008 you're just 2000 n Late
No
Beat you with fergie lyrics.. But...
...This is the Internet so I won't front like I know you on a personal level n my word is cash
Cuz honestly I don't know if you're "takeN L"... <-- that's just what'll happen as a result of this match
concept is way played and wording is iffy
Nobody like you faggot... Only you are capable of reading the truth n instead see hate
Truth is, groupies out fucking celebrities are the only ones who would wanna be late
Okay concept but it didn't really hit all that hard.
I'd recommend reading on some battles as well. Clean up your wording some so that it's clearer and more direct. Come up with more creative concepts as well because some of these were super outdated.
Vote Washed, both need a lot of work but he had a couple lines that were decent.
Everything in this forum and the whole site know the deal
They think triples weak but that just cause our dope speech hot as a nice day on the beach
Spin your head round ya neck but owl write lines deep enough so i cut ya from the backbone
My electricity blackout still fleshing out the lines got a stash rb tho need all leaving him shaking in his boots
mad love for style right then whys ya verse filled with syllables cause no one relate to his rhymes
you always the first to act gangster with a played verse nothing left for us to archive
Yeah Im already hungry you aint touchie homie stolen designs a review of a letter by the age of nine
Tried setting the line up before the line was created i wrote a few novels and dedicated
a thread has pages and a text writes from ancient scritps about the way he read a few of his pages
and lions sleep for more that 12 hours a day thats still more sleep than your getting from writing four or five bars
Still cant tell me nothing im a beef with ya but i aint no rapper im just trying not to act cool or seem too smart...
Right thats all im going to write.... please get your links in tomorrow so people can start voting....
a labyrinth of power.....
Late bloomer has no idea what he's doing. You need to study up and get better. Washed landed two punches, so that gets him the win.
VOTE - washed
a labyrinth of power.....
Everything in this forum and the whole site know the deal
They think triples weak but that just cause he stay hot with lines and a nice day on the beach
Spin your head round ya neck but owl write lines deep enough to cut ya from the noose
My electricity blackout still fleshing out the lines got a stash rb tho leaving him shaking in his boots
mad love for style right then whys ya verse filled with syllables when no one relate to his rhymes
you always the first to act gangster with a played verse nothing left for us to archive
Yeah Im already hungry hope you aint touchie homie stolen designs with a review of a letter by the age of nine
Tried setting the line up before the line was created i wrote a few novels and dedicated
a thread which has multiple pages and a text from a writer from an ancient script about the way he read a few of his pages
and lions sleep for more that 12 hours a day thats still more sleep than your getting from writing four or five bars
Still cant tell me nothing im a beef with ya but i aint no rapper im just trying not to act cool or seem too smart...
- - - Updated - - -
Everything in this forum and the whole site know the deal
They think triples weak but that just cause he stay hot with lines and a nice day on the beach
Spin your head round ya neck but owl write lines deep enough to cut ya from the noose
My electricity blackout still fleshing out the lines got a stash rb tho leaving him shaking in his boots
mad love for style right then whys ya verse filled with syllables when no one relate to his rhymes
you always the first to act gangster with a played verse nothing left for us to archive
Yeah Im already hungry hope you aint touchie homie stolen designs with a review of a letter by the age of nine
Tried setting the line up before the line was created i wrote a few novels and dedicated
a thread which has multiple pages and a text from a writer from an ancient script about the way he read a few of his pages
and lions sleep for more that 12 hours a day thats still more sleep than your getting from writing four or five bars
Still cant tell me nothing im a beef with ya but i aint no rapper im just trying not to act cool or seem too smart...
- - - Updated - - -
Everything in this forum and the whole site know the deal
just cause trip stay hot with lines like a nice day on the beach
Spin your head round ya neck but owl write lines deep enough to cut ya from the noose
My electricity blackout still fleshing out the lines leave him shaking in his boots
then whys ya verse filled with syllables that i cant relate to with some rhymes
you always the first to act gangster with a played verse nothing left for us to archive
homie im hungry you touchie homie stolen designs with a review of a letter by the age of nine
Tried setting the line up before the line was created i wrote a few novels and dedicated
a thread which has multiple pages and lions sleep for more that 12 hours a day
thats still more sleep than your getting from writing four or five bars
Still cant tell me nothing but i aint no rapper but still pack a couple hot joints to spark
a labyrinth of power.....
I'll post links today after work. Plz don't close
@Washed you have until 6:30PM Est. to provide links. - Notti
Last edited by Notti; March 6th, 2017 at 02:45 PM
You come off as retarded... Still I won't go easy on you cuz this is war son
Fact is whenever we on RB see late text, we just wish his father would've worn one
2tripleO, late bloomer? boom boom boom n you'll have black eyes see I'm great
u try to copy my swagger I'm on that next shit now I'm so 3008 you're just 2000 n Late
vs
nothing quote worthy
This battle seemed a little too one sided to me. Washed didn't really have to do much to actually win here. Late didn't really rhyme nor did he make any sense. Even though his bars were pretty lousy, he did have something that was worth noting as a punch or even a hit. Work on your flow and rhyme scheme Bloomer.
V/ Washed
yeah again i would rather void this battle because i know i didnt prepare correctly that verse needed to be better...... im good for another battle if you want to try again....... i aint forfieting or nothing just void this cause my verse is weak....
a labyrinth of power.....
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