TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

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View Poll Results: Who should win this battle?

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  • ill scripturez

    5 83.33%
  • truth iscariot

    1 16.67%
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Thread: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

  1. #1
    The Villain Kingslayer's Avatar
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    TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    @ill scripturez @Truth Iscariot

    20-40 lines
    Due 4/21/2017
    Links: Feed two open mics
    Topic:

    Last edited by Kingslayer; April 16th, 2017 at 04:28 AM

  2. #2
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot

    Chickety Check
    Self Proclaimed...

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    Nigga tale it to Chaucer..

  3. #3
    Newbie iLL ScriptureZ's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot

    ...i'll do what I can as I'm in another tourney on another site.

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  4. #4
    Newbie iLL ScriptureZ's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot

    ...2 Sides of Protest...

    As I'm walking... I'm contemplating purpose
    Our lives conjugated at the complicated surface
    Underneath, we lay empty as dominated persons
    The shit show was coming to this constipated circus
    Populated circles of anger marches with hate
    Primal rage reveals clear as we're partially ape
    Livelihoods in neighborhoods are targets we blazed
    My minds mirror reflected the hardships we faced
    Uneducated with low skills, lethargic in ways
    Employers find disheartening to mark up a raise
    "We have kids!" chants were barking enraged
    If we used this passion in work, habits occur
    Then gain steam & increase the margins of wage
    Snowflakes dust the heavily stepped boulevard
    Cold breath filling the air with words I knew were false
    Continued protesting uprising this diluted war
    Should've evaluated myself instead buying the newest car
    Gotta take that one on the chin like a suture scar
    Wanted to still buy my wife all this Louis Vitton
    Living above my means buried me in ruined shards
    & have the audacity to blame other human forms
    Questioning my sanity as my boots hit the pavement
    Overcome with embarrassment, stupid & naked
    This company helped my family move from a basement
    Took their kindness for weakness like a stupid disgrace
    I let a little unproven frustration, use me this way
    & views from complainants to choose what to say
    Arriving to my senses I break free from the uproar
    "You fucking traitor! Don't you want more?!"
    ...I do, but it has to be deserved to be given
    I'm an inmate & my worth is forbidden
    Accepting that fate from worst in the system
    ...So I headed back to work in a prison
    Last edited by iLL ScriptureZ; April 18th, 2017 at 12:32 PM Reason: typo

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  5. #5
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Protest

    We've gathered here rather than sit in distress
    Deciding to attack our duress
    We'll bash it to bits - answer those who transgress with a fist
    We're having fits, I only wince when cold winds blend with the snows chill
    Even the elements threaten to test my will
    Still I step with zeal. Towards beckoning quest,
    To keep the powers to be within check

    Inequalities set the people beneath the feet of the evil
    Carbon levels are lethal, our planet choked
    Smoke leaves bruises on the throat of the sky that it seeps to
    Squelching light. We fight to part this smog and end the age of darkness
    Our rage is armed with logic, we are Malcolm incarnate
    Aiming to maim decision makers that tarnish our lives
    Carnage is wise when disorder is the way of the world
    We've bargained hard to find only deception unfurled

    Eyes blind to fairness
    Minds binded, awareness a forgone thought
    Clarity chimes far in the distance - empty space is the Devils loft
    In allowing our oppressors rest, we've bested ourselves
    We've wrought our own burning dispair
    Impaired by sweet lies - stripped bare
    Our possessions denied....

    So we've fought as if life depended on it
    The entirety of our Hope suspended on it
    The means to right this wrong in scope
    This wrong - Of which it's been hard to cope

    Let Us
    Protest.
    Self Proclaimed...

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    Nigga tale it to Chaucer..

  6. #6
    The Villain Kingslayer's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    Ill, this was pretty dope. I liked the approach. Going from a hard working man to a convict. The transition was a smooth one. Wording was really nice, everything made sense and there wasn't any lines that were awkward to read. Flowed really well from start to finish. Overall, no complaints about this one. Just an overall good read bro.

    Truth, this was pretty good too. Not as smooth of a story tell as Ill's but still had value to the reader. It was a solid narration that told the story well. Just wish it was a bit more consistent like Ill's where you're actually seeing it through the eyes of a character rather than it being more like a documentary. That's just preference though, others might disagree. Your wording was really smooth, you have a very poetic style to your writing. Overall, good read bro. Couple things I would've personally changed but that's me.

    Vote Ill, just felt his was smoother, more consistent and told a better story. Dope battle though.

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  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! MizzDelicious's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    Flow-Ill
    wordplay-Ill
    Overall-Ill
    Both was very good, I give it to Ill
    I felt like his verse flowed better, more complex with details in story
    wordplay nicely done

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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    I love ills internals, smoothly read.

    Iscariots content I found interesting.

    Damn! Yous don't make it an easy choice.

    +1 Truth Iscariot

  9. #9
    The Villain Kingslayer's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    @Kill Spree

    Neither of those last two votes count. Motherfuckers need to learn how to explain their votes.

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  10. #10
    FUCK YOU! Kill Spree's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kingslayer View Post
    @Kill Spree

    Neither of those last two votes count. Motherfuckers need to learn how to explain their votes.
    i dont understand why you tag me? you were running this. smh
    It is especially how he votes leaves and then edited someones post er whatever... quirkiness to be honest...

    -Late Bloomer

  11. #11
    FUCK YOU! Kill Spree's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    far as I'm consurned votes stand. I dont run this spot and dont do topicals either.
    It is especially how he votes leaves and then edited someones post er whatever... quirkiness to be honest...

    -Late Bloomer

  12. #12
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    Either way we need to bring this shit to a close it's been over a month
    Self Proclaimed...

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    Nigga tale it to Chaucer..

  13. #13
    The Villain Kingslayer's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    I'm not mod anymore, Art is. So @Art. you try telling me those votes are legit lol.

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  14. #14
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    Quote Originally Posted by DamOhOhOh View Post
    I love ills internals, smoothly read.

    Iscariots content I found interesting.

    Damn! Yous don't make it an easy choice.

    +1 Truth Iscariot

    Quote Originally Posted by MizzDelicious View Post
    Flow-Ill
    wordplay-Ill
    Overall-Ill
    Both was very good, I give it to Ill
    I felt like his verse flowed better, more complex with details in story
    wordplay nicely done
    Both of you guys thanks for the votes but do you mind breaking them down a little more ? What parts of each verse you liked etc, just a little more detail ... appreciate the votes and feed but if you can , go in a little more depth and I can add the votes /points to your FL rankings

  15. #15
    You've Earned a Custom Title! DzasteR's Avatar
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    Re: TBFL Title: Ill ScriptureZ (c) vs Truth Iscariot (Ready for Votes)

    Truth

    Quote Originally Posted by Truth Iscariot
    We'll bash it to bits - answer those who transgress with a fist
    We're having fits, I only wince when cold winds blend with the snows chill
    Even the elements threaten to test my will
    Still I step with zeal. Towards beckoning quest,
    To keep the powers to be within check
    ....
    ....
    Clarity chimes far in the distance - empty space is the Devils loft
    In allowing our oppressors rest, we've bested ourselves
    We've wrought our own burning dispair
    Impaired by sweet lies - stripped bare
    Our possessions denied....
    I enjoyed your verse. The imagery you introduced in your verse connected in a different way with the pic provided. I liked the flow of it, the lines I quoted above are my fave standout lines. Even though your verse was well constructed, I didn't quite feel a deeper connection with it and the pic. I felt like you were really just exclaiming what I'm seeing in the picture rather than introducing a story behind the picture. Your verse was really good honestly, but I felt like the topic wasn't quite found in your verse. It was as if you were just describing a feeling towards the picture rather than just giving a story behind the picture. Still dope either way.

    vs

    iLL scriptureZ

    Quote Originally Posted by iLL ScriptureZ
    As I'm walking... I'm contemplating purpose
    Our lives conjugated at the complicated surface
    Underneath, we lay empty as dominated persons
    The shit show was coming to this constipated circus
    Populated circles of anger marches with hate
    Primal rage reveals clear as we're partially ape
    ....
    ....
    Snowflakes dust the heavily stepped boulevard
    Cold breath filling the air with words I knew were false
    Continued protesting uprising this diluted war
    Should've evaluated myself instead buying the newest car
    ....
    ....
    Arriving to my senses I break free from the uproar
    "You fucking traitor! Don't you want more?!"
    ...I do, but it has to be deserved to be given
    I'm an inmate & my worth is forbidden
    Accepting that fate from worst in the system
    ...So I headed back to work in a prison
    Compared to Truth's verse, you introduced the story. You provided an element of surprise in your verse. Seemed like a typical protesting photo, but you gave it a different meaning of what I was seeing in the photo. I enjoyed the read, some of your multis were a little off just to continue the multi flow but overall, I like the prison narrative. I quoted some of my fave standout lines. I think your story could've been a little more detailing of what you were getting at, you still could've created that mystery in the beginning but the way you presented it still worked out. You pulled it off in your own way, I liked it and I think you gave a better overall verse.

    v/ iLL scriptz

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