Close

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: The Moment

  1. #1
    Catch Me Outside Johnny Omega's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,634
    Battle Record
    3-0
    Streak
    0 | 0

    The Moment

    Serendipity.
    At the bottom of her glass
    sleeps a diamond ring.

    AI

  2. #2
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    10,481
    Battle Record
    17-0
    Streak
    0 | 0
    Awards OM HOF PS Champion PS HOF PS Season champ Legendary PC PC HOF
    Accomplishment
    3x OM HOF
    19x PC HOF
    PS HOF
    PS Champion
    2x PS Season Champion
    Legendary Poem

    Re: The Moment

    Last line is 6 syllables :P

    - - - Updated - - -

    Actually it isn't! I tripped on diamond for a minute! I really like it. I love that your first line is a single word. Also the second line almost has only single syllable words that always brings with it a sense of rhythm, so I was definitely feeling that. I tripped on the last line, but I really like it! It brings in that element of stagnation to the proposal, like she said no, or just isn't drinking her fucking champagne haha Good drop
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  3. #3
    Catch Me Outside Johnny Omega's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,634
    Battle Record
    3-0
    Streak
    0 | 0

    Re: The Moment

    Yeah, diamond fucked with me too. Thank God for Google lol.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thanks for the feed esse
    AI

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •