Blemish

[Sammy]

"Blemish"

I can barely see...
Lines and wrinkles?
Water spots; minor cracks in the window
Inside, the soul’s swimming.
Brimming a crestless crescendo
Flapping the river’s current
Suggestion? “go with the flow!”
what if its murky and stagnant?
Then you’ll learn how to float


Over time,
full house became a game of charade
guess the shades of her face
In a pool of perfection
blemish unruly engaged;
an inconspicuous snake
I viewed a few extra seconds
Moved in an inch worth of space
Perhaps a few more until….
Suddenly…
Those blemishes fades

Wait, what?
How?

Have u ever stare at ur index?
Slowly pull it towards ur face
Keep going...
See how it blurs?
Soon enough, a divide
Over time, image demur...then goes its separate ways
The closer it gets
The more it would fade
She snores,
Her face, the contortion it makes
When she's embarrassed
Or the way she would snort to my japes
Humoring my humor
but she loved it the same
Some say it’s “ugly”
But intimacy doesnt care for it
Blemishes fades
The closer we got
The more it became
A portrait. A frame
Flaws became art
Picture perfect?
Who knows
Perhaps a Picasso parchment, as things seem to fall into place.
Solace and grace
“Distorted” to the naked eyes
But I guess u can say love made it align
love is blind
Grasping at lines
naturally, ironing out the wrinkle in time
Love you, Ash.

- - - Updated - - -

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...he-mind-starts
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...18#post8862018

[Cody Phoenix]

Sammy, I loved this. You've grown so much from a novice writer to a poetic scribe, and I can't be more happy for you. You're expressing your emotions, what you truly feel and painting for us now. It's amazing. Fuck yeah! I'm going to give you what you need tho, FORGET YOUR STRUCTURE AT THIS POINT, but not too much... let the rhymes flow. Speak to us like we're face to face with you and tell us the story, tell us the metaphor, speak the language. Be the language. This was an emotional piece that was super heart-felt and packed with meaning. This is unique, you're finding out who you are as a writer now and you can't sleep on that, push this part of you and challenge yourself on more complex things in your life. Relationships with your mother, your father, siblings, friends, everything. Expand on it. Don't let a simple rhyme go to waste either, elaborate on everything. I want to see more out of you, fucking get it. Or i'll bitch at you.

[Sammy]

@Cody Phoenix , haha, thanks for the word and suggestions, brutha. i'll definitely take heed.

[Cody Phoenix]

@Cody Phoenix , haha, thanks for the word and suggestions, brutha. i'll definitely take heed.

can you feed my piece?

[Soule]

Interesting writing style. Interesting rhyme scheme. Took me a second to catch on but that's just because I'm used to the traditional RB topical style of writing. As I told Messiah in his piece, I prefer storytelling. This felt more like it was metaphorically based. So didn't quite match my preference of writing but that doesn't mean it was bad. The wording was smooth from start to finish and once I caught onto the style your rhyme scheme became a lot cleaner and more fluent. I really liked that first stanza and the last couple lines. Keep writing Sammy.

[_Lyrics]

Hey Sammy! This was a creative take on your topic. At first I was thinking it was going to be about vanity and I still wouldve thought that was creative lol but this was nice. Kind of heartfelt representation that sometimes beauty is deeper than just the surface, I liked the blue reference and can kind of coincide with the meaning that the closer you get to someone their blemishes fade. Still not quite used to the short bars it seems like everyone is writing in these days, but the flow was cool, Great read sammy!

[Lenox]

This piece was dope!
I'd give you some better feed but I'm too busy jacking off in the mirror