What it takes...

**A Disciple** · May 25th, 2017, 07:40 PM

DRAFT... my computer keeps turning off (I fix it later)

Tie me to bed so they don't steal me again like the walking dead
If they hate it don't look
My souls the one that's shaking and shook
I'd rather burn in paradise them by any means of their device
All they do is slice my soul and tell me to let go
And I'm not even sure if he even know
They're afraid for him to turn the key
And what he will see
All the things they did to me
All the lies thru spoke to him
Just the same while pretending to be friend
It's a good thing I survive the pain
And my lord heals me when he send the rain
I keep saying but maybe if I even deserved it
Just praying for that pitch to give me that curved hit

**OG Maestro** · May 25th, 2017, 08:03 PM

You write a lot CLA, but you should keep the drafts saved up in your pad somewhere and take some time out to work on them. You drop very frequently and it's never anything bad, but it could be a hell of a lot better. Cause I've seen you post some great content on here before, shit like this ain't what your fans/critics wanna see honestly tho. We wanna see you at your best

**_Lyrics** · May 27th, 2017, 06:44 AM

This isn't bad a disciple, unfortunately I do feel like its still a bit fragmented as OG has said, its hard to picture just what you were going through because you make it clear people have put you through hurt but there isn't any clear cut situations you pull forward to show us readers exactly what it is you were battling with these emotions. Is like to see more imagery and better thought out construction to your pieces to help draw out your strong emotions in a balanced focal point. Thanks for the read!