Regretful

[Art.]

Regrets
By:Art


Bags'll get packed, strapped to my back lightly.
Grabbing some cash, snatching my flask tightly.
Masking my past, unraveled to rags might be,
the only thing I have left as I travel my path. Write me.

…Because….

I won't be back, the rope is latched so my throat will snap quickly.
I broke the pact while my woes distract ,can't sew it back in me.
Traded hopes and laughs for hoes and cash, my soul is black, filthy.
So this note I trashed holds the mope and damns I'm supposed to have in me.

Looking back…

Seeing my wife, wasn't the only thing cheating my life.
It was the beatings and fights and the screams through the night.
Readings of Jesus' teachings for some reason brought my deamons to life,
even through his preaching I felt my own evils suffice .

I guesss..

My regrets chased me, the cheating, the sex ate me.
Receiving her texts lately, made the beats in my chest shaky.
My brain screaming between walls, the voices grew deeper with each call
like speakers that recall every mistake and weak fall.

Her voice replays in my head, as I lay awake in my bed.
Wish I didn't do what I did or even say what I said.
maybe instead its my fault could i be the craziest yet?
We loved each other, didn't we? or is this sensation regret?

With no where to turn,

The only way out seems like a cowards...
So I'm standing on this chair with this rope nervous to fall.
Every second passing feels like hours,
Finally kick out the chair cause I'm not a good person at all.


Il get links a little later.... enjoy the story...

[Soule]

This was dope. Really dug the story at hand. Dark and dramatic, just how I like it. Your wording was well placed from start to finish though if I were going to complain about anything it'd have to be Write me in the first stanza. Didn't really make sense to me, kinda felt like it was just there to rhyme. Also didn't care for back in me/have in me in the second stanza. Again, seemed like lazy writing/rhyming. And cheating my life/deamons in life in the third stanza. Other than that though, crisp stuff. I would've liked to see this stretched out a bit more and gone more in depth. It's like watching the movie based on a book, the good details got left out. Nice read though bro, keep it up.

Favorite lines:


The only way out seems like a cowards...
So I'm standing on this chair with this rope nervous to fall.
Every second passing feels like hours,
Finally kick out the chair cause I'm not a good person at all.

[Art.]

Left feed on Bobs Kung Fu
and poetas idk the name of lol


Thanks E... appreciate the feed homie.

[_Lyrics]

What up art! This was a pretty dope read here! Definitely killed the flow here, you were stacking syllables and not overlooking your story either, though it was emotional and hit the topic pretty perfectly, I've seen a bunch of similar topics and without a bit more description pushing for the characterization of the woman that was being cheated on and even the woman who was the affair, it suffered a bit. The technique is great though, Maybe a glimpse of the finding out would be saved this a bit more, otherwise it read great and had some strong emotions driving it in the final moments after a fatal broken promise. Thanks for the read!

[Jukon]

i can't remember the last time i read a topical that i actually enjoyed. your flow was great man, and yeah, the concept is beaten to death, and i've read it multiple times by other people. but i like the direction you attacked the piece from. you put emotion into it, however, i think your closer was a bit weak. you really built it up the whole piece through but fell short at the end. (no pun intended) a few typos here and there but nothing major that takes away from the piece.

overall, i enjoyed it. even though my feed seems harsher than i intended lol, i kept reading it a few times and kept finding small things to nitpick. but i hope you get it's coming from a good place and not trying to beat your topical up. anyway, truly, i liked it. thanks for the read.

[Venom]

I hate to be the broken record so I'll keep this short and to the point. This was dope. I like that you made an effort to match syllables and keep the content on track. This shows me how truly rusty I am lol. Stay with it bro.

[Easy.]

This was short and sweet, I enjoyed the hell out of it though. Your rhymes are natural; it's as if the only words you could have used are the ones you did. Not some forced bullshit which is common. I'm guilty of it myself. One minor issue with the piece: your stanzas may not flow together, and 4 lines per verse doesn't work in a rap verse.

I liked it. It was lyrically impressive, read naturally, and was concise, but, like another said, this concept is overdone. I like to see something special when reading a clichéd topic.