i cant title this

[walkerblack]

Lucy inquires me for grams
but i won't be serving serpents
I serve purpose,
script superb verses...

And when I heard
that some heard curses
formed by verses of prayer
I thought, "Well of course there's
sure worship to
paradoxical articles
so remarkably logical
they make you see forms
that aren't actually there"

Because as for me,
If i submit it's by
divine intervention;
by a god who
supplies circumvention;
denies illogic and
loves imperfection...

But if circumstance
has you circumcised
for a culture you couldn't comprehend,
clearly there lie concepts
that cannot expend
so understand the underworld
and overlords aren't (completely) pretend

So, if your mindset
Is that a fable’s lame,
explain from where
your nature came.
We're all the same,
our tables changed
once God enabled Cain

[Jukon]

this is a great piece, i'm sorry it took so long for it to get some feed. your alliteration and assonance usage is great. you had some repeated words that typically would bother me; but i think they added a level of depth that wouldn't have been there otherwise. you used them in a smart way. i don't dabble in the worshipping and faith side of the spectrum but you didn't dive so deep into it that people like me wouldn't appreciate it. i think you touched on it just enough to get your message across in an effective way.

i think the outro was my favorite, it gives the reader something to think about and i appreciate a thought provoking and well thought out piece progressively than technicalities. so with that said, great piece. i really enjoyed it. i hope to see you drop some more soon.

[Poeta Demonio]

This is really nice work man! I feel it's possibly more of a piece should be an OM, but it functions perfectly well as a poem, though at times I would have preferred a longer line length than have the lines broken up in such a way that at times it become awkward to read. But other than that, this is a really really strong piece! I mean the flow alone makes it stand out as a proficient piece of writing, yet also your message is being relayed clearly and concisely whilst upholding the poetic tone throughout. Though I'm not religious I still very much enjoyed the read and am fast becoming a fan of yours!

Good work man, keep dropping.

[walkerblack]

This is really nice work man! I feel it's possibly more of a piece should be an OM, but it functions perfectly well as a poem, though at times I would have preferred a longer line length than have the lines broken up in such a way that at times it become awkward to read. But other than that, this is a really really strong piece! I mean the flow alone makes it stand out as a proficient piece of writing, yet also your message is being relayed clearly and concisely whilst upholding the poetic tone throughout. Though I'm not religious I still very much enjoyed the read and am fast becoming a fan of yours!

Good work man, keep dropping.

Word. Thanks for tuning in... I appreciate the feedback. I was wondering which lines you might have preferred longer? -- For my future writings

this is a great piece, i'm sorry it took so long for it to get some feed. your alliteration and assonance usage is great. you had some repeated words that typically would bother me; but i think they added a level of depth that wouldn't have been there otherwise. you used them in a smart way. i don't dabble in the worshipping and faith side of the spectrum but you didn't dive so deep into it that people like me wouldn't appreciate it. i think you touched on it just enough to get your message across in an effective way.

i think the outro was my favorite, it gives the reader something to think about and i appreciate a thought provoking and well thought out piece progressively than technicalities. so with that said, great piece. i really enjoyed it. i hope to see you drop some more soon.

Thanks for the compliments! Certain words were homonyms or double entendres, but I understand what you mean. I'm real glad you enjoyed this piece even with a secular mindset