User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Hands

  1. #1
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    The Desert
    Posts
    1,821
    Battle Record
    8-9
    Awards SS HW Champion PC HOF OM HOF

    Hands

    I'm loosely fixated

    I am the greatest on Earth on my block

    I try not to define the finer points of myself with the tip of a Scud rocket

    But I will shoot my shit..loosely

    Yet it seems when my greatness is tested in the form of bringing help
    I'm using a compacted style to battle these demons filling slots of those dispatched
    Knowing that the full extension of my reach is powerful
    I'm relegated to flicks of the fingers
    Plucking at cancers like a virgin popping the top of a clit...stupidly
    It's dumb but effective...if you get my drift....

    And there are times that I want to lay these paws on jaws
    Cave teeth to make domino tops
    Use the droplets of blood for dots
    BIG SIX TO THE BOARD NIGGA!!!

    but the fights that surround me don't allow for that glee
    Keeping me from the relief that I crave for
    So in breaks attained I shadow box

    Waiting to put that ultimate move on display and rock-a-bye that ass

    Now I am getting too into myself

    And these fights are getting tedious as the opponents are getting stronger
    I can't flick these grunts off me protecting you all
    I can't remove these tactics that are submissive until contracted
    I can't see victory sometimes
    I can't lose

    My hands become weary as the trust in them fail at times
    Dropping bombs have been reduce to dropping dimes
    And the passes are not connecting
    My communication is worse than a Sprint cellphone

    So now I wish my hands can regain that greatness it has
    Save my fiance from falling victim to thyroid cancer
    Or reverse my Uncle's plight from pancreatic cancer
    And until those prayers are answer
    I will keep fighting for your freedom.....

    With these hands....


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Best Topical Writer: 143

  2. #2
    Landed Emily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    4,492
    Battle Record
    2-2
    Awards MOTM PC HOF

    Re: Hands

    I'm loosely fixated
    I like the mix of words here...'loosely' and 'fixated'. To me it shows me that you can fixate more but are aware of your behaviour. That's good self reflection with well thought out wording.

    I am the greatest on Earth on my block
    This confuses me a little bit. How can one be the greatest on Earth...on his block? I'm sure I've missed something here,
    but I don't know what.


    I try not to define the finer points of myself with the tip of a Scud rocket

    But I will shoot my shit..loosely

    Yet it seems when my greatness is tested in the form of bringing help
    I'm using a compacted style to battle these demons filling slots of those dispatched
    Knowing that the full extension of my reach is powerful
    I'm relegated to flicks of the fingers
    It's like I can see the flickering now. Like a trigger happy cop. A walking time bomb, ready if needed to explode.
    Plucking at cancers like a virgin popping the top of a clit...stupidly
    Interesting comparison.
    It's dumb but effective...if you get my drift....
    I do.

    And there are times that I want to lay these paws on jaws
    Love that line. The rhyme. The meaning. It's effective.
    Cave teeth to make domino tops
    Use the droplets of blood for dots
    BIG SIX TO THE BOARD NIGGA!!!

    but the fights that surround me don't allow for that glee
    No. Cause cancer's not a game. Although it seems to play with us. It's always a struggle who'll outwit carcinoma.
    Keeping me from the relief that I crave for
    So in breaks attained I shadow box
    I like this 143. Nice pace here as well.
    Waiting to put that ultimate move on display and rock-a-bye that ass
    You've got a way with words, that's for sure. 'rock a bye that ass' is cool.

    Now I am getting too into myself

    And these fights are getting tedious as the opponents are getting stronger
    This sentence kills me. It's so true.
    I can't flick these grunts off me protecting you all
    I can't remove these tactics that are submissive until contracted
    I can't see victory sometimes
    I can't lose
    So much pressure. You can't see wining happening at times, more so probably when you're emotionally tired and drained,
    and yet you can't lose either. It's like being stuck in some time warp trance that you can't escape from.


    My hands become weary as the trust in them fail at times
    Dropping bombs have been reduced to dropping dimes
    : ( I think you do well expressing sentiments like this. They're raw in emotion, organic phrases.
    And the passes are not connecting
    My communication is worse than a Sprint cellphone

    So now I wish my hands can regain that greatness it has
    Do you mean....'they have'?
    Save my fiance from falling victim to thyroid cancer
    Or reverse my Uncle's plight from pancreatic cancer
    And until those prayers are answered
    I will keep fighting for your freedom.....

    With these hands....

    Wonderfully strong outro 143.
    You tend to pull out real life struggles in fights like these. You're able to reach inside and grab the jugular and yank it out,
    killing what was bad, and leaving nothing but a healthy mind. I like that you're able to draw internally what your heart tells you,
    without filler, without trying to impress, using only your true emotion.
    I think you did well with this. A couple lines I didn't get, not sure, could be me, just not sure how I was supposed to interpret certain phrases at times. But sometimes I think it's the australian/american thing too. There's a lot of stuff I hear on here that I don't hear in where I live. Other than that though, I think you're ability to dig deep, and delve into such subject matter and paint it with an artists brush, shows talent. Good luck with it all 143. My prayers are with you and your family.

    Also, thanks for the feed of my piece. Always appreciated.

    Interesting Read. Heartfelt.

    Thank you.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  3. #3
    The Wind Sings TheIllyricist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    590
    Battle Record
    2-3
    Awards PC HOF PS Season champ

    Re: Hands

    Easily some of the most raw poetry and unbridled emotion comes from you. It's a breath of fresh air, where I sometimes hold back you just let it all out in one gust of fucking wind that blows shit away like a category five hurricane. Love it, man.

    Two sides of cancer on this. Battle with literal cancer and the anger that comes with it, or the figurative, scud rocket trying to blow up the multitude of problems/cancers in your life. It can be difficult as hell trying to remove the shit that's eating away at your life and draining away at your energy. Tedious, indeed.

    Just, overall, digging the raw battle here, the feeling of wanting to cave in faces and unload the fists of fury. Sometimes you just wanna punch something, and I get that.

    Directing your hands in the right direction against enemies you have no true control against. Love this, 143. It's not polished, it's not structured in any particular way, it's let loose. Good shit, man.
    “Those whom life does not cure death will. The world is quite ruthless in selecting between the dream and the reality, even where we will not. Between the wish and the thing the world lies waiting.”

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •