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Thread: Emily

  1. #1
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
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    Emily




    I thank you for last night, vigorously invigorating
    You disseminating my lust from what's intimidating
    Initiating lost love's reclamation to wounded ventricles
    Significantly centrifugal in distracting the cynical
    The crossing of your breath against the tides of touch
    Chides the fuss of searching for my solace of Eden
    Now polished egregiousness becomes a bride of hush
    Listening to the perching of calm, abolishing heathens
    Blistfully a follower that I practice your biblical symposium
    Composed to the nines, I'm twined at nauseum
    Sickened to the core employing grants of you, medicinally
    Finessing the aggressiveness trapped in my brutish movements
    Playing the fringes of my veracity with intention, quizzically
    Filling my appetite to the brim with fruitful prudence.....

    Then the sun beams of the crest of my upward face
    Racing in the creases that my eyelids forgot to replace
    Watered down pillowcases and sheets remembers my scream
    For the nature of what's previously stated was random pieces of a dream.....






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    Best Topical Writer: 143

  2. #2
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
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    Best Topical Writer: 143

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Re: Emily

    This was okay to me,

    Emily is a tittle for this verse
    I wish had more feelings and thoughts

  4. #4
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Re: Emily

    Hey 143 this was an um interesting piece lol a bit too, I liked the tides of touch line and wish you would opt for more poeticism and depth in mechanics like that assonance. Besides having a bit of cryptic wording because of some of the diction used. The ending excerpt wasn't a huge twist and kind of took away from the piece especially in its comedic factor, it couldve been executed well and have a great light of humor. As it was it was a fun idea. Keep penning!
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