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Thread: she's a time killer

  1. #1
    Better. Kuhn's Avatar
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    she's a time killer

    My last girl told me that she would be with me forever
    But she ain't even leave me for the better
    She just decieved me, but believed me? never.
    I never understood why she would do me like that
    But then I met a girl with a man...swear I did it right back.
    Issa world full of wrongs and I can't right that
    So I left this message in a bottle I don't expect you to write back.
    Women claim to be bad bitches but get mad when ima dog
    You either a lady or a bad bitch, you cant be it all.
    Bragging with your ass out and talking about your pussy,
    I'm tryna be respectful but you hoes are gettin pushy.
    I still wonder if that nigga knows that i was up inside his girl
    While he was slidin into someone elses, this the kinda world;
    That we living in.
    You put in time with a woman but she give away the dividends.
    I ain't saying that sex is the focus ALL the time
    But when I speak to you, speak back, show me you gotta mind!
    I'm looking for a real one, goes to church and work too
    But I'm scared to death to meet ya shawty cuz I don't wanna hurt you...
    I wanna tell you that I love you and that I can be your friend too,
    But i don't even know if I'm real when I say it or if I just pretend to.
    My mind ain't the same anymore, everybody's changed for the worse
    I don't even feel the same now as the start of THIS verse.
    I hold all of us accountable, nobody remembers what staying true means
    So when I say I'm keeping it real, it's only as real as what YOU bring.
    Show me a lady in the streets that can be a wife in the sheets,
    Cuz that's the only goals that i have; I'm tired of these freaks.
    Guys get some respect for yourself, and with what's left use to let her melt
    A mind is a beautiful thing when a lectures felt
    So feed your mind till it overflows and your girl has fed her self.
    Quit spending money when you should be spending time,
    That "rolly rolly rolly" is worth nothing when you yourself can't shine.
    I'm damaged goods, but I'm still good enough to recognize it,
    I'm just looking for a return on my investment so I can try to maximize it.
    My hearts been colder than a February wind chill
    I dare you to say you love me..maybe then I'll find a time that we CAN kill
    I.P.

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    Re: she's a time killer

    I like the message and everything but the content itself is very basic abc 123 ryhme scheme. I want to see some expression with metaphores and better usage of vocab content. You have the emotion and topics people will relate to you just have to be more creative keep the reader thinking.
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