Better than alcohol

[walkerblack]

Immerse myself in rhythm since it’s better than alcohol
Keep my feelings written, it’s clarity for cloudy thoughts
Emotions lost in black ink, corrosion to my cardiac
Rebuilt by artifacts of memories still left in tact
Before I might’ve instead surrendered thoughts to her company
But today she stays across the country, free of the stress
At home she’s grown to live underneath
So I suppose I’m happy for her, it’d be selfish not to be
But is one really happy if constantly he ponders not to be?
I’m tripping, brush the dust off
Back up from feeling down
Finished now with this love song

[SELF ACTIVATE]

Interesting. Although, I'm not entirely sure what this was all about; however, if were to take a stab at it, I'd say that the underlining theme here, as made evident by your title, is that writing, releasing your thoughts through text, is a more satisfying escape, addiction, form of therapy or what have you, than drinking is, which btw, is something I can wholeheartedly agree with. Then also the love (lost) aspect as well.

Now what I've come to appreciate most about your style of writing is that it reads so unrestricted. There is no pretense or forced mechanics. Only words. Words that speak directly to the audience in a conversation like manner. Take this piece for instance. It's seemingly all over the place like the words of an old wise man off his rocker. There's a lot of info being thrown at the reader all at once. But there are those singular lines that standout as being poignant and relatable. For me it was this line right here ...

But is one really happy if constantly he ponders not to be?

The plight of every artist and writer I've ever known. That one line really resonated with.

Very interesting work my dude. Your talent is obvious.

What else you got?

[walkerblack]

if were to take a stab at it, I'd say that the underlining theme here, as made evident by your title, is that writing, releasing your thoughts through text, is a more satisfying escape, addiction, form of therapy or what have you, than drinking is

Word. An accurate stab

what I've come to appreciate most about your style of writing is that it reads so unrestricted. There is no pretense or forced mechanics. Only words. Words that speak directly to the audience in a conversation like manner.

This has to be the greatest compliment I've received. Thanks a lot

What else you got?

Lots of lines and lies

Thanks for your commendation, for real

[Sammy]

i enjoyed this. Short and concise with some very nice moments scattered about. Ur piece always has this touch of authenticity. I suppose to really elaborate I'd have to bring up this line:

"So I suppose I’m happy for her, it’d be selfish not to be
But is one really happy if constantly he ponders not to be?"

I think you'd have to tap into something much deeper than linguistic creativity to come up with that type of perspective. In addition to what Self mentioned about u, it's this authenticity that's usually the reward of reading your verse. Of course I wish this piece was a bit longer because I was enjoying it that much. Great job.

[A Disciple]

The rhyme scheme was too off for me... step your skills up for the content... I know you can do better!!! A lot of people talk about hat 100 percent they put in vs the bored. Just step it up and imagine that plight is my suggestion. Content a plus schematics severely lacking

[nerdy318]

Immerse myself in rhythm since it’s better than alcohol
Keep my feelings written, it’s clarity for cloudy thoughts

i love this line... i never thought of making two lines or every two line a sentence.. i guess it would be best for a consistent flow for a verse.

yo hit me up.. i need some replies

[nerdy318]

Immerse myself in rhythm since it’s better than alcohol
Keep my feelings written, it’s clarity for cloudy thoughts
Emotions lost in black ink, corrosion to my cardiac
Rebuilt by artifacts of memories still left in tact

this shit flows very well... i can see this in audio form .. seriously ...

people usually try to make a punch or climax at the end .. not just a filler line right before the Hook]

grown to live underneath

But is one really happy if constantly he ponders not to be?

I’m tripping, brush the dust off
Back up from feeling down

i like your play on words