A rose this day.

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Thread: A rose this day.

  1. #1

    A rose this day.

    I saw a rose this day
    it wasn't withered away.
    it wasn't filthy or weathered
    it shown bright in the day
    i took sight this display
    of this site on the grave
    a fallen hero?
    maybe a slave
    maybe one in the same
    i saw a rose this day
    it needed no name
    stood tall with dignity
    and apparently no shame
    where it grows as arranged
    with purpose through rain
    you could take it away
    place it back on the pane
    but no it stays on the plane
    so i gaze. i fear what awaits
    i draw a tear on my face
    i stay all night
    and i stay awake
    its gone for a while
    while i sit and pray
    the blessing is gone
    one id like to stay
    a sky full of rays
    i saw arose on this day

  2. #2
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Battle Record
    Awards Haiku Season Champion

    Re: A rose this day.

    Good little poem. Simple but effective. Repetition of that line helped. Solid use of the image of a rose as metaphor for a person's 'life after death'.
    Fix up the grammar, etc., and you have a nice piece.
    can I kick it?

  3. #3

    Re: A rose this day.

    thank you for that feedback. It is truly much appreciated

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