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Thread: Everyone is gay except for me.

  1. #1
    The 0bserver
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    418
    Battle Record
    3-4

    Everyone is gay except for me.

    I was born in a crystal cave
    my initial phase
    was to manifest from aether in the form of distal waves
    I resonated and reverberated for six whole days
    until the crystals raised my frequency far past visible range
    I self assembled my sentience in a blissful haze
    sweeter than a multi-layered cake that’s triple glazed
    my final form came as a space/time ripple maze
    that cripples simple brains
    with incredulous sonic riddle ray pistol play
    I keep the unacceptable silenced
    with egregious levels of exceptional violence
    irreparable mind twist-
    -ing rhymes of eclectical vibrance
    de-testicaled tyrants
    for their detestable spineless
    deception, you’ll die if
    you question my hermetical science
    your intestine, I’ll tie it
    around your neck and I’ll bind it
    my mental tentacles diet
    on witch doctor medical clients
    and dissolve their flesh with injectible knives that
    resemble razor-sided venomated ventrical hydrants
    I took your conscious state and vegetablized it
    I take the rhyme to deeper depths and I’m divin’
    for interdimensional diamonds
    strivin’ to complete the quest and I’ll find it
    cause’ like a mortar and pestal I’m grindin’
    I’m the excellent highness
    with X rays in my exo-synapse
    filled with so much THC it’s like pine sap
    your mind cracks
    and the sky’s black
    when my rhyme hatched
    like an extraterrestrial planet sized bat
    that flies laps
    around intergalactic space/time maps
    till’ it starts at the same time it finishes it’s ride back
    I provide raps
    that serve as celestial anthems
    I’m the extraterrestrial phantom
    my technical text feeds whole cans from
    the cabinet of wsdom, enough to give all earthly clans some
    My ways, you might find a bit strange
    to avoid happyness I might hide in the pain
    When I wake up in the morning, I take some vitamin A
    then put on a new cranium and slide in a brain
    I went to the past and tried to delay
    the present, by dragging Santa through a maze while he’s tied to the sleigh

  2. #2
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    CT (wtby)
    Posts
    3,547
    Battle Record
    0-2

    Re: Everyone is gay except for me.

    The rhyme scheme was amazing especially in short bars. Not anything to critique for such a basic topic this ish was really complete. Can’t wait to read more especially if you throw something out ona serious topic to relate to.
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~¥~+
    CLA919

  3. #3
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    NC
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    18,079
    Battle Record
    112-23
    Awards FL Tag Champion AOTW 100+ Wins SAP Champion FL Champion 1-2 Punch HW Champion LLL Season Champion LLL Champion OM HOF

    Re: Everyone is gay except for me.

    ROFL that fucking title tho lmao
    カミノコトバ

  4. #4

    Re: Everyone is gay except for me.

    Hmm interesting man good writing yeah you got concepts yeah you understand what concepts of writing a open mic piece is aboit just 8dk i dont want to complain just tone it down in the beginning im just taking this as a piece of writing okay im not trying to say fuck you but this piece needed work whatever it was alright i guess... good writing though...

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    UPSTATE NY
    Posts
    145

    Re: Everyone is gay except for me.

    I thought the word play here was awesome. Took it to a whole other level with tying the rhymes together. This is not me being an ass but if u had a mic in hand would u perform it the same way u wrote it? I think it would sound dope as fuck over some space sounding beats lol good work here

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