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August 30th, 2018, 07:48 PM
#1
You've Earned a Custom Title!
Abstract Human Condition
silent grey walls
compulsory facades
humanoid shades, confined shapes
step out of line loser
your referral; dwell in your basement
assembly line personality product placement
domesticated masculinity, virility subdued
fading alpha radiance barely shining
generic souls, beta-providing
shut up, just produce
take a stand, be a man?
the ad endorses the brand
so buy that goddamn brand
reckoned reality was more legit than this
suppose was I dreaming
woke in the middle of a busy street, screaming
it's a cold world, better follow the norm
or they got a straitjacket to keep you warm
self-acceptance is a thought crime, remember
"a raging fire becomes dying embers"
we didn't start it, let it expire
I am tired.
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September 3rd, 2018, 09:09 AM
#2
microcosm
Re: Abstract Human Condition
The poem ends very well, last couple of lines are good.
Didn't like the repetition of "brand", nor the alpha-beta thing.
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December 20th, 2018, 10:28 AM
#3
AJ The Menace
Re: Abstract Human Condition
So are you a psychologist or something? Would you tell your patient that? Lmao, just playing. Either way, the concept reminds me of Aesop Rock; was rather good in it's way. Good stance, with forefront writing; nice clarity; and decent grasp of language. Didn't really say anything spectacular, but it was rather entertaining to read. Good work, man. Hope to read more.
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