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Thread: Abstract Human Condition

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Conceptual's Avatar
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    Abstract Human Condition

    silent grey walls
    compulsory facades
    humanoid shades, confined shapes
    step out of line loser
    your referral; dwell in your basement
    assembly line personality product placement
    domesticated masculinity, virility subdued
    fading alpha radiance barely shining
    generic souls, beta-providing
    shut up, just produce
    take a stand, be a man?
    the ad endorses the brand
    so buy that goddamn brand
    reckoned reality was more legit than this
    suppose was I dreaming
    woke in the middle of a busy street, screaming
    it's a cold world, better follow the norm
    or they got a straitjacket to keep you warm
    self-acceptance is a thought crime, remember
    "a raging fire becomes dying embers"
    we didn't start it, let it expire
    I am tired.

  2. #2
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Re: Abstract Human Condition

    The poem ends very well, last couple of lines are good.
    Didn't like the repetition of "brand", nor the alpha-beta thing.

  3. #3
    AJ The Menace Echelon's Avatar
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    Re: Abstract Human Condition

    So are you a psychologist or something? Would you tell your patient that? Lmao, just playing. Either way, the concept reminds me of Aesop Rock; was rather good in it's way. Good stance, with forefront writing; nice clarity; and decent grasp of language. Didn't really say anything spectacular, but it was rather entertaining to read. Good work, man. Hope to read more.

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