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September 6th, 2018, 10:53 PM
#1
shit faced and evil
Bitch, I don't give a fuck about you
cuttin' out Jew's
Tongues
and then I'll stuff their mouths full
of dung
bitch. I'm a fuckin' Nazi
you're bitch ass ain't got nothin' on me
cuttin' off these
rapper's dicks
I bet you bit over half your shit
you may as well go and slash your wrists
I rip it explicit
and shit, I don't give it
I shit on you bitches
and hit ya physics
from inter-dimensional rivets
from within
a wormhole
the dermal
incisions
need stitches
convert all
you dipshit
infertile
ass snitches
to turd while
I'm eatin' your brains with a biscuit
when it comes to the riches, I'm sure that I'll get it
cause' I got the perfect style
I ain't even scratched on the surface, I'll split wigs
the ratchet
is blasted
at faggots
you backflip
and land in the addic
with caps in
your ass, bitch
I fashion a gadget
that can collapse this
whole universe, you will be ashes to ashes
I'm smashin' you bastards
I'm stabbin' you halfwits
with staffs dipped
in battery acid
my raps were redacted
from alien space craft debree, that is
why my verbal mastery magic-
-ally appears to be inter-galactically savage
I'd rather be dipped in a nasty vat of greased faggots
than forever condemn my ass to be average
I'm drunk when I buss' it
I know your bitch love it
these slugs hit
these fuckwits
all up in the nugget
you better have brung it
if you wanna fuck with
A single one of my subjects
you suck dicks
in public
and I know your mind is quite lacking in substance
enough with
your dumb shit
concussions
are comin'
I'm cuttin' you up in-
-to pieces that's big enough just for the oven
I never had a life, so I'll take yours
nuclear waste pours
down my throat while I eat eight swords...
innate scorn
I'll make you eat a can of lead...
my flow is ultraviolet, but my pineal gland is red
and no one understands what I said
in the words I write down
the human race and I are opposites, that's why we're so alike, wow
I'm alienated
prevailing in hatred
a spikes now
impailing your anus
I sound
like a virus abseiling the matrix
and scaling the wavelengths
of reality when my flow is so nice, how
the fuck do you do it?
you lit-
-tle doofus
you look like a cracker, who's dick
is like two inch-
-es but you spit
a flow that's so fluid
it oozes
all over the huge tits
of rap and just cleaned the bitch out like your dick is a Q-tip
Luminiferous Aether
that's who's legit, and this refer
be so fuckin' fumin' my speech slurs
when it comes to battles I step into them, like "me first!"
steady shroomin', I'm beast born
I'll rip the fuckin' multiverse in half, and you petty humans are weaker
I can calculate a galaxies' spin
so how could I let your fallacies win?
the age of reason is over, time to let the age of malice begin
drink from the cup if insanity, the more your thirst is quenched, the more the chalice deepens
addicted to the pleasure of pain,
better to strain
than weaken
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September 9th, 2018, 12:04 AM
#2
You've Earned a Custom Title!
Re: shit faced and evil
Pretty dope, stream of consciousness
Nice rhymes
Not too fond of how you chose to present it
I don’t think you really need much more criticism than that. Peace.
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September 9th, 2018, 08:21 AM
#3
You've Earned a Custom Title!
Re: shit faced and evil
I wanted to try one of these posts, because I saw two of these in a row with little feedback.
... But I honestly just hate reading it. I do not at all enjoy it. It's like being at a poetry slam where the writer is making it up as he goes along.
There are some pieces where I'm like this rhyme shows dude has skill. But none of the actual bars themselves or concepts themselves got room to breathe and feel itself.
I think you're better than this, is my feedback. And I hope you take it as a compliment.
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