shit faced and evil

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Thread: shit faced and evil

  1. #1
    The 0bserver
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    375
    Battle Record
    2-3

    shit faced and evil

    Bitch, I don't give a fuck about you
    cuttin' out Jew's
    Tongues
    and then I'll stuff their mouths full
    of dung

    bitch. I'm a fuckin' Nazi
    you're bitch ass ain't got nothin' on me
    cuttin' off these

    rapper's dicks
    I bet you bit over half your shit
    you may as well go and slash your wrists

    I rip it explicit
    and shit, I don't give it
    I shit on you bitches
    and hit ya physics
    from inter-dimensional rivets
    from within
    a wormhole
    the dermal
    incisions
    need stitches
    convert all
    you dipshit
    infertile
    ass snitches
    to turd while
    I'm eatin' your brains with a biscuit
    when it comes to the riches, I'm sure that I'll get it
    cause' I got the perfect style
    I ain't even scratched on the surface, I'll split wigs

    the ratchet
    is blasted
    at faggots
    you backflip
    and land in the addic
    with caps in
    your ass, bitch
    I fashion a gadget
    that can collapse this
    whole universe, you will be ashes to ashes
    I'm smashin' you bastards
    I'm stabbin' you halfwits
    with staffs dipped
    in battery acid
    my raps were redacted
    from alien space craft debree, that is
    why my verbal mastery magic-
    -ally appears to be inter-galactically savage
    I'd rather be dipped in a nasty vat of greased faggots
    than forever condemn my ass to be average

    I'm drunk when I buss' it
    I know your bitch love it
    these slugs hit
    these fuckwits
    all up in the nugget
    you better have brung it
    if you wanna fuck with
    A single one of my subjects
    you suck dicks
    in public
    and I know your mind is quite lacking in substance
    enough with
    your dumb shit
    concussions
    are comin'
    I'm cuttin' you up in-
    -to pieces that's big enough just for the oven

    I never had a life, so I'll take yours
    nuclear waste pours
    down my throat while I eat eight swords...
    innate scorn

    I'll make you eat a can of lead...
    my flow is ultraviolet, but my pineal gland is red
    and no one understands what I said

    in the words I write down
    the human race and I are opposites, that's why we're so alike, wow
    I'm alienated
    prevailing in hatred
    a spikes now
    impailing your anus
    I sound
    like a virus abseiling the matrix
    and scaling the wavelengths
    of reality when my flow is so nice, how

    the fuck do you do it?
    you lit-
    -tle doofus
    you look like a cracker, who's dick
    is like two inch-
    -es but you spit
    a flow that's so fluid
    it oozes
    all over the huge tits
    of rap and just cleaned the bitch out like your dick is a Q-tip

    Luminiferous Aether
    that's who's legit, and this refer
    be so fuckin' fumin' my speech slurs
    when it comes to battles I step into them, like "me first!"
    steady shroomin', I'm beast born
    I'll rip the fuckin' multiverse in half, and you petty humans are weaker

    I can calculate a galaxies' spin
    so how could I let your fallacies win?
    the age of reason is over, time to let the age of malice begin
    drink from the cup if insanity, the more your thirst is quenched, the more the chalice deepens
    addicted to the pleasure of pain,
    better to strain
    than weaken

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Venom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    633

    Re: shit faced and evil

    Pretty dope, stream of consciousness
    Nice rhymes
    Not too fond of how you chose to present it
    I don’t think you really need much more criticism than that. Peace.

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    65
    Battle Record
    0-3

    Re: shit faced and evil

    I wanted to try one of these posts, because I saw two of these in a row with little feedback.

    ... But I honestly just hate reading it. I do not at all enjoy it. It's like being at a poetry slam where the writer is making it up as he goes along.

    There are some pieces where I'm like this rhyme shows dude has skill. But none of the actual bars themselves or concepts themselves got room to breathe and feel itself.

    I think you're better than this, is my feedback. And I hope you take it as a compliment.

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