Impasse

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Thread: Impasse

  1. #1
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Impasse

    Life and I were at an Impasse,
    Dueling over the proper way to make this sacred thing last
    You see...
    The bond we share is the stuff of fame.
    I rush to claim my Love my Flame
    But in storybook fashion, Life doubles as Tormentor & Bane
    Consuming joy but nursing pain. Why must we play this game in the Devilís vain?

    Answers I beseech,
    Until Fury unfurls to fevers peak
    Havenít I given enough? I ask Life the Leech
    This parasitic curse with which I was bequeathed

    Life bellowed back sweeping firm ground from beneath me,
    ďHAVE YOU TRULY GIVEN YOUR ALL TO ME?!Ē
    ...Her Catapult words mark Gibraltarís fall -defenses stall...
    I havenít an excuse to give or an aide to call...
    Had I truly begun to live imprisoned by lack of passion?
    ...Thatís Death to a wiseman if you were to ask him...
    Did Life try to teach me only to receive apathy as a reaction?
    I mull over words. Accepting the hurt that is fact
    I had once turned back towards existence
    Forsaking what was sacred without plea or repentance
    Self Proclaimed...

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    Nigga tale it to Chaucer..

  2. #2
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Re: Impasse

    Strong first verse. Don't capitalize "impasse". Don't use ellipses after "you see".
    Ending isn't particularly creative.

    You personify life, and that is interesting. The dialogic form is cool too.

    Good work. Feed something around here.

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