IKR?
You hoes told me to go super short bars. And the only punches you liked so far were gunplay shit.
So it's your fault I wrote this awful verse:
Your hoe is a head doc... Now you know why the sex stopped...
This
Detroit wrapper untouched cuz I play with your ex box..!!
ight so im diggin the bar structure, but im gonna tell u some things and they all are out of love and helping u evolve here homie, with the knowledge im gonna give u, u can compete here.
ok so i see what ur doing here. a couple things tho. most of the heads who still do shortbar or text in general are people who have been doing this a long time, so things like parsing ur text with a link to explain ur bar is looked down upon heavily, ur bar could be super dope, but people will discount it simply bc of the link thing. to most people, if u have use anything other then ur bar to explain ur punch, u havent done ur job.
as far as the actual bar goes, the concept is superrrrrrr old, xbox/ex box been done forever. the way u worded it wasnt super harsh or creative or new so this is a big miss here.
Son, I fuckin' blast... There's precedence I run with the strap...
So it ain't a secret service I put this gun on ya lap..!!
ok so u can actually make ur bars a bit longer here, this left a bit to be desired, the precedence/secret service is kind of a reach conceptually to me unless theres a wp im missing {maybe ur going for presidents/precedence as a wordplay but that doesnt work phonetically for me} bc precedence just means first or knowledge of something already happening which works for the way ur saying it in that people know u have a history of holding a weapon, but it doesnt work in connecting it to the secret service except that it kind of sounds like presidents. thats why i think the concept is a reach, the concept isnt a reach if u were going for presidents/precedence however, but the wp is bad if thats the case and makes it a miss anyway
Thumbs on my rap... Then the bullet nipple and mount her right in...
Cuz yall kids love it when I cover guns like Counter Strike skins..!!
not bad here, maybe could have ties in the counterstrike concept more in the set up by referencing shooter games or pcs or terrorism or something, but this is ur best bar so far.
This downer might win?... Apparent that he made out challenging me...
Until I put this kid in a box like Lebanese takeout..!!
"put this ______ in a box" or "put ________ in a box" lines are pretty used at this point, not sayuing u cant make a dope one but they have to be really creative or fresh to work for most people. also this didnt rhyme bro lolol. like at all. not feeling this one brother.
Splinter this dead weight... Fire on this pussy till his cinders impregnate...
Bring more arms to this matchup than Tinder in red states..!!
this isnt bad actually, but im not seeing where the red states part is relevant other then to make it rhyme? arms to the matchup/tinder connection is there, i just dont see where red states connects at all.
..
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presidents
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downer My Twin? A Parent that he May Doubt, challenging me
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Also kids are little goats. Poor, helpless, tasty little goats.
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^^^^ as stated above we dont really fuck w this kinda shit here. its not against the rules or anything just looked down upon.
Also click on "Detroit" its a link.