The Easy One

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Thread: The Easy One

  1. #1
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    The Easy One

    Most of you probably don't know/remember me. I battled a lot way back in the day, but I didn't really do much in the Poetry Corner. I haven't posted here in 6 years or more. Anyway, back in 2015, my second youngest of 6 was diagnosed with Cancer. Right after his diagnosis, I was talking to a friend and he said, "Thank God it's the easy one." Now let me be clear, he wasn’t being insulting, condescending, or insensitive. In fact, when you look at statistics, he’s right. I think back to that conversation all of the time and his words have had a huge impact on me. In fact, it inspired me to write this poem.

    I think about the pool of tears in which I’ve wallowed, the fears that I’ve swallowed, and the pain that followed and made me feel so hollow. And it’s like, this is the easy one.

    I think about how his growth’s been stunted, about all of the challenges he’s confronted, just a deluge of issues thrown at him. How he’s been a champion and overcome it, but to be blunt it’s taken its toll in ways you can’t fathom. The good news is, this is the easy one.

    I think about the struggles at home and at work, and the stress just piles up until you wanna flip out and go berserk. They say No One Fights Alone but you feel like Atlas trying to hold the weight of the Earth. So you overreact to something that should be nothing and look like a total jerk. It’s like the joke’s on you but you can’t find any mirth. So you’re stuck with your head hangin low using your stick to scratch out in the dirt…This is the easy one.

    I think about the hospital stays, the trips back home just to go back the next day, the uncertainty for his safety and how many times that I’ve prayed, my mind screamin Jesus don’t take my child away. And I’m like, this is the easy one.

    I think about how he doesn’t really like hospital food, how the pain of a needle stick something he’s become acclimated to. About how much he didn’t want to shave his head but it got to the point it was something we had to do. How he has to wear a mask if he wants to enter a public room. And you don’t want to be all doom and gloom, but you’re forced to assume that someone’s allergies could potentially be a threat that could lead him to his tomb. They don’t understand so they take offense and start to fume and you’re just sitting there feelin the heat sink in…thinkin, this is the easy one.

    I think about all the drugs we’ve pumped in him. The horrible side effects and hoping against hope he won’t get em. How the laundry list of meds and scheduled times to take them is enough to make your head start spinnin. How this one’s to treat the Cancer, this one’s to treat the side effects of that, and these others are to treat the effects that those might give’em. That if he has a really bad response you just flip up this blue cap and stab the epi pen in him. But that’s okay because this is the easy one.

    I think about that time he was life-flighted, and the outright fright it incited, and that I might not get to see him smile again, or just hold him for awhile again, and as my throat had the bile set in, I thought, “My God, this is the easy one.”

    So if you have a family member or friend going through this struggle in their lives. They might tell you they’re alright, but you’ll be able to see it in their eyes. They know there’s not much you can do to help, so they just smile and feed you lies. They don’t tell you about all of the times they wait until they’re alone so they can cry. About how they’d happily take this Cancer from their child 100 times over even if it meant they had to die. And the crazy thing is that right now, I’m just showing you this side. The parent of a child that has the easy one.

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  2. #2

    Re: The Easy One

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