Chicken Scratch On A Denny's Napkin

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Thread: Chicken Scratch On A Denny's Napkin

  1. #1
    Super Grand Heru SELF ACTIVATE's Avatar
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    Chicken Scratch On A Denny's Napkin

    4:26 a.m.

    My Cinderella danced barefoot
    over broken glass
    As Humpty Dumpty seeped eggnog
    from his opened head,
    while the frog turned prince was asleep
    When he croaked in bed
    I hope, he at least, found peace
    with his troubled past.
    "... see, there's a Beauty in the Beast,
    he just needs a bath",
    Said the Big Bad Wolf
    to his ethics class.
    Look
    Captin Hook sent a message in a bottle
    that I never read
    and now it's lost, boy
    .. ala Peter Pan.
    Yo, I'm a snobbish alcoholic
    I like my mascoto red
    and huffing oxygen
    is carci°no°genic
    when you're Aquaman
    Nah ...
    I'm really just a comic
    that forgot to laugh
    and that's a lazy entendre
    for my fans and Stans.
    GOTdamn, man,
    I think I need a Hand
    and a standing ovation
    for my favorite band.
    Saw John Snow getting toasty
    in the South of France
    while I stood upon the Mountain top
    and surveyed the land.
    It's crazy, fam ...
    How everyone's a critic of my dope,
    guess I'm Breaking Bad ...
    I'm so HBO when I post,
    -- that's no basic plan ...
    I let the drac-o blow
    like Sopranos
    at tomato stands
    I'm Marlon Brando with a 'fro
    and a Native tan
    "I sent a Wire to ya folks
    ... it's like 80 grand
    and told Proposition Joe
    what he didn't know
    about the Method Man"
    I roll with Marlo smokin Marlboros
    in an ambulance
    and keep a bando full of bones
    for the voodoo jam!
    ... my hoodoo can ...
    make u hoola hoop through
    A ring of fire in the Zulu sands
    An ancient empire that was too adavanced
    For modern-day humans
    and their stupid Klans
    "Excuse me, Pam.
    I think I use to be your lover
    in another life
    and Bruh Man was the husband
    of your uncle's blood cousin's wife"
    So fuck yo baggage
    I got luggage
    and my shit is twice
    the life time supply
    they allow on flights
    I lug this ball and chain
    like a symbol of my pride
    a simple sigil
    meant to visualize
    that I ain't livin' right!

    ... and so I type.

  2. #2

    Re: Chicken Scratch On A Denny's Napkin

    not bad. I'll highlight what I liked/thought had an air of freshness to it.

    "I'm really just a comic that forgot to laugh"

    "I'm Marlon Brando with a native tan"

    those were probably your best parts. the delivery would be smoother if you tried tightening the rhymes a little more and maybe focused less on putting colorful concepts in. like I dig how you started off, or at least the direction it was taking, but it fell short for me.

    fuck a mother goose, with rhymes I'm spinnin' gold but what's the use
    when a brutha wonna walk up on me just to gimme bloody shoes?
    I'm ridin' red, while I be bumpin' blue, tuned to sumn cool,
    watchin' y'all get it like y'alls got nothin' to lose,
    bitch I'm sumn but nothin' to prove.

    that's a just a (free)style, and it's loose enough to read easy. see what I mean? peep it though, you got heart. keep doin you.

  3. #3

    Re: Chicken Scratch On A Denny's Napkin

    I really had a great time with https://www.assignmenthelper.com.au/...signment-help/ your post! I am looking forward to read more blog post regarding this! Well written!

  4. #4
    COKE Kill Spree's Avatar
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    Re: Chicken Scratch On A Denny's Napkin

    Quote Originally Posted by annagreyf View Post
    I really had a great time with https://www.assignmenthelper.com.au/...signment-help/ your post! I am looking forward to read more blog post regarding this! Well written!
    Don’t post this shit here. Leave feedback

  5. #5
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    Re: Chicken Scratch On A Denny's Napkin

    Quote Originally Posted by Kill Spree View Post
    Don’t post this shit here. Leave feedback
    That's a bot my nig.

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