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Intro
Yo yo everybody welcome back to anotherrrrr edition of the LLL weekly magazine. We had an ok week last week.. not the best but it wasnt a bad week... yo, look. why wont yall vote on the contenders matches? yall wack. weirdos. if not for letterman being deducted votes it would have been the 4th week in a row of the contenders match holding us up... lol, but oh well. vote on that shit. were set up w some cool battles this week, and hopefully they go well. letsssssss get onto it.
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Reviews
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Smog vs. Plaz
I like Plaz a lot. seems like a great dude. isnt super garbage. as a new guy, hes the star. His style is a comedic one, tho in this battle he almost seemed like, "meme" jokes which in text battling, most of the time, comes off corny like ur we get it u vape line, but u had some good attempts bro. ur gonna be good here, smog had a solid verse. harsh personal right out the gate and better consistency he won this battle almost from the jump, tho Plaz did swipe a vote or 2 to show he has potential. gd shit bros.
Jit aka J. Dill vs. Bomb Bard aka Kill Spree
I fucked with this battle. Honestly, these are probably the 2 most underrated battlers doing it right now imo. Dillinger is consistent and usually has good wording, and Spree has some of the best concepts in text right now in my opinion. Being honest, I thought JD was gonna win this one, but he came w a cpl played bars that really hurt him. mirror line was really nice tho Spree has a good verse. I really liked the J blood line. was creative. I hope this battle happens again maybe in the playoffs, bc these guys are now 1-1 against each other.
JEM vs. R!canTheoryz
This was a cool little read. Rican is kind of like a more concise Joe Boston with less breaking news. His wording is still what gets him in trouble usually, but hes got everything else down pat 14 years into the game. he had a cpl cool bars scattered around a decent verse for not being around in awhile. JEM continues to come w some nice concepts. A bit under worded but i like his style. His bacon bar was creative and the fortnite bar wasnt bad either. but overall rican had the harsher verse and was able to take this one
XRey vs. Joe Boston
ight what up xrey. good to see u here bro. couple things that will help u here, we really dont fuck with the bolded multis or the super long bars. shorten those up if u can and that will help u here. also the explanation stuff... we dont really do that here. ur free to do it if u feel its necessary but the general consensus is most good bars shouldnt need an expo. but u got the other basics of text battling down it seems. just work on being harsh and concise Joey Bs verse was ok. the david price bar was pretty cool and enough to get the win here. lil long winded but thats ok lol. anyway, Joey got the unanimous win here
Bash vs. Letterman
I liked this battle a lot. it didnt get the love it deserved vote wise but thats due to the contenders match curse. unfortunately. Both of these guys had a good verse imo. its nice seeing letterman getting back into the flow of things with a much better verse this week then last week if im remembering right. Bash had some nice shit, liked the spirit bomb line a lot that was dope. seemed he tried a few new things style wise and it was hit or miss, but he was able to pull out the win in a close one. he was up 3-2 but letterman was deducted votes for not voting so we didnt get to see it go the distance.
Barcotic vs. King
Another nice battle in this one, glad barc ended up showing. Barcotic had a good verse, no doubt. Ryan bader bar was fire to me, maybe botb. he had some other nice lines too but didnt seem as consistent as he usually drops. King dropped really well, and was able to give Barc his first loss of the season that wasnt due to no showing. King was suoer consistent with only 1 or 2 bars that didnt hit nicely... w/ barc signing out for now, hes left as the clear number one guy in the league resume wise. lets see what that means for the future
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No Show Shine
Plethora vs. Authentic aka Jason Voorhees
take the clip.. got heavy artillery that'll make him flip
Choppers on Deck, it's not a helicopter crash on the Reagan ship
take the clip.. got heavy artillery that'll make him flip
Choppers on Deck, it's not a helicopter crash on the Reagan ship
ok
look at my medals, on a killing spree if anyone doubting me
got my Ducks in a Row, bouta turn this place into a shooting gallery
cool tie ins... cool bar. weird tho lol
snap jason. decapitated & buried, its a sick sick world
take ur top off then stuffed in the hole, like i did to his girl
cool
this homo has gay friends and takes them for dummies
it's so funny how Jason Bateman into role playing for money
i dont ever care that his names jason im sick of seeing jason bars from lmao
when people die, their body moves til rigamortis expands
ur body stiff but arms & legs keep kicking like the fortnite dance
eh
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Top Punches
From the Top Battles
Letterman vs. Bash
Ur slut got a fetish for African Americans. I can’t respect her
Cuz It’s easy to handle that tool, just prove you’re black and decker
Bash vs. Letterman
Murders my true passion, ur crews dead if im cockin the lb
Think spirit bomb...i draw energy from every body around
Barcotic vs. King
from the opening Bellator ya head off. b quiet haters
if i beat up King Mo, imma need a name change to ryan bader
King vs. Barcotic
Lmao Tried to catch me sleeping but I'm filleting u son
Ironic u just got a DQ from Amen n now ur here praying for one
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Token vs. Barcotic
Token
everyone agrees ur just a clown, a joke of the league headin' for pavement
cuz i think its funny how I could drop a Punch using nothing but statements
fuckin pussy, made it the top for nothin, cuz im blazin up vile
tryna snatch the belt? this bitch'll just stay untitled like never savin' a file
quit kissing my ass dude, ur a faggot of weak stout
& when I say Bar overrides me in LLL, it ain't cuz he's the mod of the league now
i gotta bad temper, & this faggot fuck could never be fire
shit, watch me smash a fuckin' punch through the wall with no knuckles required
ur verses are fuckin earsores, i ain't even seen concepts that old
in fact, everytime itune into your shit I rip Apple's support a new asshole
concept flippin' faggot, you already know i'ma wreck you
shit, if ur scared chrit'll vote against you..
..why not list the rest of league in your check too?
drown your loss in some alcohol, ur a drunk fuck so face it
i'ma spike this Punch so sharp it's guaranteed to leave this fuck wasted
fuckin virgin, aint no girl on Top his Lap, i'll leave this wack shook for hits
shit I gotta Mack book fulla digits...he relies on a Macbook for chicks
see me in a pub or a battle, i'm layin you out, there's no doubt in it
shit, i'll just use Bars tool, & do some flipping..
..then knock you the fuck out with it
not a fuckin person here accepts your modship, your retarded to less
so I told the league to bare with me, and this fag started to undress
so much shit i could diss you about, it's obvious your worse than all
it's sad that i can use any lines i've ever written on you as personals
u got some FL fans, but all the vets know i'll give him bare hell
shit, I got the whole league doin' the wave.. just to bid him a farewell
nobody wants to listen to a word you speak, in fact ur just one i'll rip again
shit, if Punch ever hits the air.. then it's simply cuz he's missed again
you get ur concepts from other people, you ain't really beast tight
so if i'm dropping a Punch line then you know it's been flipped at least twice
ima expose you fucks now.. step aside bar, i'ma deal with a past geek
listen, no matter how much re-wording you do for this wack fuck, I still beat you last week
thats right com, your secret's out that you help him hard on text
but I guess it was predicted... that he'll change his name to Barcom next
all of the clues prove the case, com's ur buddy on some gay shit
bitch how u gon run the league.. we can't even take your verses in moderation
Barcotic
Token ain't a Real man, he's just a wimp that doesn't want drama,
..so I'll distill he cries like a bitch and begs for shots of COM's vodka..
The last time we battled I hardly tried so my shit wasn't even testable,
..but since I now carrots just a matter of time til I turn him to a vegetable..
This weak bitch could never hurt me, he's too damn old and frail,
..watch as the kidneys me and I elbow him so hard his organs fail..
He says his crib's nice but it's not, he should probably stop boastin,
..shit, I wonder how long it'll beetle he gets rid of the cockroaches..
He's broke and there's no girl in the world that wants his worthless ass,
..even if he stole afford he wouldn't have enough money to purchase gas..
He's always after the same girl at the club but never gets his cock wet,
..if elixir it's only cuz the powder he put in her drink didn't wear off yet..
His mother made a mean statement when he was born; "fate sucks
..and I'm only willing to be his mummify can wrap his ugly face up"..
Straight up, and bro, you spoke on COM getting evicted but why talk?
..you're not a landlord just cuz you rule your own section of a sidewalk..
You talk alot but you're fake, everything you do and say is a scam,
..and bitch, if you ever shoguns they're most definitly made in Japan..
Dawg, why'd you try hiding Impasse? you're whack for blowin smoke,
..he's your sidekick and you duo him a handjob for his last Token vote..
Why so cocky? you're the only one who thinks your drops are ascending,
..if you don't start to actor spit like a vet I'll give you props for pretending..
You thought your last verse was lively but it was really awful and dead,
..it never bloomy away, now COM's sendin flowers to your hospital bed..
You try your best every time but you're not improvin shit mate,
..so stop reaching for the stars....you'll be there soon at this rate..
I'm so fuckin sick of reading your weak shit man, every line is worthless,
..and you're a supermod now....so please pull a Dios and hide your verses..
Every line I just wrote was a fact, I'm known for spittin the truth,
..this battle was Punch-Token....which is what everyone is itchin to do..
Now you have a choice, either stay while the league debates your skill,
..or your other option would believe LLL....and we all have faith you will..
You might respect me more when you get up from the floor dude,
..but I won't be shakin your hand....the seizure already did it for you..
TOKEN WINS
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Updated League Rankings and Records
King 5-1
at the top of the league right now and could stay there if he is on his game
Bash 6-3
looking to make it 3 weeks in a row with new champs, Bash can grab one of the only things missing from his resume, the LLL Title
Meth 5-3
Bomb Bard 5-3
3 wins in a row and its looking like spree is back on his game
J. Dill 3-3
a lot better then the 2 losses in a row look, JD looks to return to form this week and get back on the positive side of .500
Letterman 2-1
Joe Boston 3-3
Smog 1-0
smog returned w a vengeance this week. he could make a late season run at the title if hes on his game
R!canTheoryz 1-0
JEM. 3-5
Plethora 1-2
same as smog, if pleth gets hot he could make a late season run to the title... but the first hurdle is getting his record back to even
Plaz 0-2
XRey 0-1
Cred 0-0
Slecht 0-0
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Battle Previews
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Jem vs. Plethora
Good to see plethora back signed into the LLL and actually showing lol. Karma made the usually on time Authentic no show him unfortunately but his verse was solid. JEM has some nice concepts and if he can word them right i think he can be a problem. hes growing every week and i hope he gives pleth a run for his money this week... tho Pleth is the clear favorite here
Smog vs. R!canTheoryz
On name alone, Smogs the favorite here. Hes been an above average text battler for a long time. Rican is the epitome of average, tho his verse last week may have been better then Smogs was imo, tho one could say Smog may have just dropped what he needed to. Smog typically has a personal style, and im not sure if he is aware of ricans history enough to be able to do that... if he does tho its a wrap bc ricans got a histoooryyyyy lol. This should be a nice lil battle, but i think Smog will take this one home.
Cred vs. Slecht
Yooooo whats up bros. we got 2 new dudes this week with titles under their belt in other leagues. Cred has a career that spans a few sites and he has gotten things done at each, Slecht is a 2 time 1-2 champ i believe so that shows he can deliver haymakers. both may be rusty but from what ive seen, cred is a bit more talented then slecht so I got the gun bar king Cred if he shows
Joe Boston vs. Plaz
Joe seems like hes taken a step back with his wording and his concept creation/selection in the last few weeks, if he doesnt get back in his game hes gonna start falling under the 50 percent mark. Plaz is new to the site and shown a lot of potential. he even made the finals of UBC 1. fuck it i got Plaz with the upset
XRey vs. High and Drunk
These 2 could maybe have a dope long bar battle lol but this is a short bar site. HND has improved in refitting his style to this league, tho unfortunately we werent able to see that last week hopefully this week it will continue. Rey we still dont know much about, and he will still probably post another long bar verse this week before he gets the message. Glad to see such a large amount of newer people tho. Hope u both stick around. I got HND in this one
J. Dill vs. Letterman
Letter dropped a good verse in the contenders match last week. It wasnt enough to beat Bash but it was definitely a good verse... Dill dropped lower then his usual quality last week and i hope he eradicates that this week and drops to his full potential... Letter still hasnt been up to his season champing type of quality yet and in trusting Dillinger to get his groove back this week im predicting J. Dill as the winner
Contenders Meth vs. Bomb Bard
This is our first reg battle... ever. with the same record in the LLL and similar 1-2 punch league its fair to say this is a rather even match up. Sprees won 3 in a row and i cant get anybody to show against me smh/lol. for that reason ill tilt this only slightly to bard
Champ King vs. Bash
Bash w another shot at the title this week but this time it comes against King instead of Blue Bayou. Actually if u dont count bayou that wipes out 3 of these guys combined 3 losses lol. Kings been consistent so far this season and i dont see a reason that wouldnt continue this week, bash has been dropping nice all season, but I think kings been dropping just a litttttle better so far and I got King defending his title this week.
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OUTRO
thats all she wrote peace