LLL Week 11 Magazine by High and Drunk (10/30/18)

[Meth]

Hello Fellas

This week will be the best magazine ever. Because I am going to write it.

Week eleven of LLL was pretty tight: We had some cool battles. We had some cool antics. But we also had a ton of no shows. So many no shows, @Meth no showed this magazine.

Luckily, I have packed together all the best bars, booties and boobies I can find to make a really dope magazine for all of you. I KNOW YOU FUCK BOYS WILL THINK THIS IS TROLLING. But read it. It's gonna be tight.

That said... some of the women in these gifs are transwomen. So if @Barcotic gets an erection... well... that's why.


http://i.imgur.com/SEsSMgE.gif


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Reviews

http://i.imgur.com/YyE6T39.gif

this is how i felt when @Amen dodged me in chat

Cred v Slecht

Neither of them showed. But they did sign up for this week. So they get more LLL points than @Cheese cake Assassin.

https://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.png


CONTENDERS MATCH Meth v Bomb Bard

So this is the other no show of the week. And it was a pretty good battle. Bomb Bard came correct, with knockout punches like:

"Run ur Spot If I feel threatened & see the Gat burst
Have U sayin Good Knight! & we aint Crediting ur bitten bars or a Bash Verse"

Ironic you get High... & write like him, hope U crash & die from mentions
You Said Drunk is trash! yet set yourself up vs him for the Drive to Contention

^^^obviously I liked this one cuz @Meth is a snake!

But Meth came correct, too: He was so upset that his girlfriend invited him to a birthday party that he crashed her fucking car into a tree. Just so he could get out of listening to her talk all night. If that isn't G as fuck, I don't know what is.

@Kill Spree will get the W on his record. But I think we can all agree that @Meth is the real winner, here.

https://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.png


JEM v Pleth

This battle proves that @JEM secretly works for NASA. Nobody understood what the fuck Thoracic was supposed to be wordplay for. Additionally, no one could figure out what Grown Men Line was supposed to be.

I was so confused, I refused to pick a side.

But voters did. They liked this bar from JEM:

My torpedoes been too deep though, could cap this kid
with one shot but four move ahead like battleships

... And they thought this bar from Pleth was pretty cool:

R!can beat u last week, but this time ima open hand u with grace
couldn't handle Theoryz.. so what about when reality smacks u in the face

Overall, voters thought Pleth got the W.

https://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.png


Xrey v High And Drunk

... Huh. I guess I changed my name to "stupid faggot" in the thread title. Weird. I hope the W translates... I still only have one of those on my record. (@Kill Spree, I'm looking at you.)

Anyways. I tried a new, shorter style. Voters seemed to like it. Xrey did grab himself a vote this week, though. Voters seemed to think his concepts had improved, but they wanted him to simplify his setups. Sounds like they think his punches could compete. So @XRey should take a couple weeks before he judges himself too harshly.

Some lines voters liked were these two:

Get your teeth crushed like packing bubbles when I rip..
If X games, the whole stands clappin' till you flip..!!

^^^ From H&D. While the following was the voters' favorite from XRey:

Got you carved up son, for every letter of my verse u’ll live-with-a-stitch.
Not killin’ this snitch, so u can see how ya girl “turns” to me when I Pivot-ya-Bitch.

High And Drunk got the W but XRey did get a solid, earned vote. Keep grinding man, you'll go from one vote to two and then you'll beat @Meth , easily. (Like everyone else does.)

https://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.png

[hello there]

Smog v Rican Theoryz

I am not putting a fucking exclamation mark in your name, Rican. I refuse.

Voters agreed, and fell in love with Smog's verse. They especially liked the following bar:

U was raised in streets? Me too, but I made it n u followed the ways of ur peeps
S'why u Olive Garden ur penny jars..hopin 1 day to afford a DECENT place to go eat

It got the biggest laughs. As for Rican, voters seemed to like this bar:

Im Back Better than average never let the Time Plummit,
You’ve been struggling to throw a decent punch for 6 years .. & No Wonder ur Record is Barely Over .500

Overall, Rican got my vote but the voters preferred @Smog and gave him the W. Mostly the voter feedback for Rican was to get newer, fresher concepts. So work on that and you'll be better than @Meth , as well.

https://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.png


Joe Boston v Plaz

So @Plaz is my prodigy. I hope you guys understand that. I beat him, and then he elevated and beat me. And now we are vying for the title of the best new guy in RB. So I have a special interest in seeing him do well.

... And so I obviously dick rode him by not actually voting in the battle.

That notwithstanding, voters seem to like him more and more, week by week. They especially liked this bar from him, this week:

she likes long convos, that's one annoying slut that you cuffed
i'll let my fist do the talking and JabberJaw - to get her to STFU

Personally I thought it was cool that we both independently started super short bar styles the same week. That was pretty cool.

As for Joe Boston, voters fucked with the following bar:

Chilly on the blocks I stay bitches like you can’t handle the cold
These bullets will give you back problems you’ll be saying to kids “Well fuck I’m getting old!”

And it's a good line. The concept is pretty tight.

Overall, though, voters gave Plaz the W. Mostly because they felt he was more consistent than Joe Butters, this week.

Throw a bunch of old man bars and you'll have @Barcotic interested in your battles, at the very least.

https://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.png

JDill v Letterman

I forgot this was a no show. Letterman must have forgotten, too. Because he no showed. Like a fucking creep. @Letterman you are a fucking creep.

As for the verse, he did get some feedback. And it seems like his best couple of bars were:

This whack poser got a green neck, lookin like a kiddo when u ball
Ur rank here is JUST like where u bought ur fake chains... 'Middle of them all'

and

Son's flexin - talkin bout guns & weapons? It's upsettin
Ur as scary as Jason Vorhees alright... But its the dude here who's 1-7

Those were pretty tight. I fucked with this verse. Good job @Jit. @Jitt ? @Jet? @Git.

https://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.png

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THE MOTHER FUCKING CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

King v Bash

http://i.imgur.com/72oLId8.gif


This battle was pretty tight. Let's look at the voters' favorite punches from each player.

@BashEmUP --

When i feed ur name to the streets it wont be long before ur dead
If I roll up n ask “How ya living?”, its cos i put a 100 thousand on your head

Fuck these old school textcees, ur gettin’ merked from the start
Turn the glock into an AED, ill grab it off the wall n put the piece to ur heart

Dont act like ur dropping knowledge n ur changing the game
Social Responsibility is me using the cans to pollute the block w/ ur brains

Overall, voters really liked his verse.

I love Bash as a person. But I don't always connect with the style he uses. The board does, though. And there was a lot of "Fire" being thrown around about the three bars above.

As for @King , voters thought the following were his best bars:

Punches hit like a car wreck, leave 'em immobile fast
We aint equals, funny he added "EmUp" n now I'm bout to total Bash

Fake ass pothead, thats all it takes for u to hit ur dope limit?
If the 3rd hit giving u ideas, these combos'll break the bulb n slice ur throat with it

Even got ur wifey beggin me to off u, ur gettin played nerd
Ironic, soon as I started talking violence she was giving me her safe word

I'm gettin ur lady's ass while ur romancing tryina make it last
Ya game is trash, I'll dump in ur lil Suga Suga n make her tell u its ur baby Bash

... And the extra bar correlated with the vote: King won a pretty close battle.

Overall, voters were super happy with the battles. And both dudes came correct.

Good job, guys.

https://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.pnghttps://findicons.com/files/icons/23...olden_star.png

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Battle Previews

http://i.imgur.com/7qQeBKx.gifv

Bash 6-4 v Lenox 0-3

So I heard this Bash guy is pretty good. That's good. He's up against this Lenox guy who is 0-3?

Hey guys. I bet this Lenox guy is 0-4 after this week. What do you think?

I have Bash here.

http://i.imgur.com/jjzD6Ro.gif

XRey 0-2 v Jason Voorhees 1-6

So this is gonna be the most slept on battle of the week. No shade to anyone, but these are - right now - the two lowest ranked dudes in the League. What does this mean? It means this is the perfect time for XRey to dial in some mistakes, grab an L and start moving his way up the charts.

I am going with Xrey on this one. But I think it's a pretty even battle -- which everyone should vote on. AND SEND ACTUAL FEEDBACK you fucking nuts. "You need to fix your wording." Smh.

https://78.media.tumblr.com/0f0f88b1...8gzyo1_400.gif

High and Drunk 3-5 v GrimmReaperZ 0-1

So I may be biased, but I am on a run back to .500 and I'm not going to let some fucking guy with a Z in his name stop me.

Honestly, I'm always happy to have a battle, no matter who it's against. I feel like I get better every week and it seems like voters are starting to agree.

As for Grimm? I don't know much about him. I don't remember his first battle. But I bet he comes correct and gives me a good battle this week. So I will give the prediction to Grimm.

http://i.imgur.com/79A8yUI.gif

The Specialist 0-0 v Allen Knight 2-2

So this is a new guy. Which means he is going to no show.

And... if he doesn't... Allen is going to bite his bars.

So this battle is a wash.

Nah! Just Kidding!

it will get allen banned from the site

http://i.imgur.com/xmnVVjU.gif

JEM 3-6 v Plaz 1-2

Low key? This is the battle I am most excited for, this week.

JEM always has interesting stuff. And Plaz is getting better and better, every week. He has his finger on the pulse of the board a lot better than our other new writers. I can see him edging this out, but I think JEM will have the voters' ears on this one.

It'll be close.

http://i.imgur.com/on86Dk4.gif

[Meth]

Joe Boston 3-4 v RicanTheoryz 1-1

This is a tough one to pick. Joe seems to be a little hit or miss. But his highs are pretty consistently high. Rican had a really interesting verse, this week.

I think this battle comes down to who shows up most consistently. Whoever writes more bars and edits down to their best will win. I am gonna give this a dead even wash.

http://i.imgur.com/OfQujYj.gif

CONTENDER BATTLE: Smog 2-0 v JDill 4-3

I like J Dill's stuff. But Smog has some pretty neat bars. I feel like J has the same problem I do with the site voters --- sometimes they don't like the stuff he does. Smog seems to have his finger on the board a little more.

I am pretty excited to check this out. Especially since both are required to drop more bars than usual.

Not gonna predict this one just cuz. What do you guys think?

http://i.imgur.com/gCRG7OO.gif

CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH! King 6-1 v Plethora 2-2

This is gonna be a cool battle. Voters really resonate with Pleth, in general. Personally, I like his stuff. But I do think King will get this. My man has been on a roll ever since Blue left LLL. And I think his record is well earned.

This will def be one to check out. And if you don't vote on it, you're gonna be missing out.

https://i.redd.it/1rjdurikt6l11.jpg
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NO MO' NO SHOWS THIS WEEK

If you do, @Meth is gonna no show the mag next week and you'll be stuck with me, one more time.

Until then, check out this pretty girl:

https://i.imgur.com/0h92Hbo.gif

[King]

Good shit @High And Drunk

Props on stepping in and getting this done, u may have motivated me to do one of my infamous hate mags. Idk if this current roster is ready for that tho

- - - Updated - - -

Also, @Meth has some competition in the gif game now hahaha

[Barcotic]

Good shit @High And Drunk

Props on stepping in and getting this done, u may have motivated me to do one of my infamous hate mags. Idk if this current roster is ready for that tho

as long as its more accurate than this one lol go for it

[hello there]

as long as its more accurate than this one lol go for it

So this I take offense to.

I literally went through all of the votes and summarized how people voted / what people voted on.

And then I gave most battles the exact same star rating.

What the fuck else kind of bias do you think I have?

You're just upset because I said mean things about you.

Go back to taking trap pics in your fucking leggings, you troll.

[Barcotic]

tldr

save ur finger strength

[Ryno]

This was actually entertaining lol

[Greedy]

Nice mag. Fuck a Bar Comic. Do ya thing

[Barcotic]

yea fuck bar comic

listen ur fellow vaginas, fr
it pads the ego

im just the bad guy

[hello there]

You wish.

You're the bad guy in a Spongebob movie.

[Barcotic]

every battle getting 3 stars including whack af ones was all i needed to see tbh i didnt even read anything

just scrolled

[hello there]

Ok.

You're not even in this league anymore.

Do you hang around your old high school, too?

What kind of fucking clown are you.

[YG]

You wish.

You're the bad guy in a Spongebob movie.

Savage

[Blue Bayou]

Cool mag, props