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Thread: Swimming With Snakes

  1. #1
    AJ The Menace Echelon's Avatar
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    Swimming With Snakes

    A sea of snakes, swims inevitably vertically towards cuts of robust execution
    The snakes harbor green grass effect, harboring the hint of jealously in evolution
    Perpetual deity, diet of mice and rodents, weasels, and possums
    They keep their bosom gently lash, their snake eyes never bat a eye lash
    Snakes lash out with pride on their body, scales of beauty and fortune
    A fortune tellers question to a snake? Why do you awake during a summer's day?
    Because the sun is gray, the sun is awake to asunder suns and stars alike
    The moon is pie, the suns a stye in my eye, I eat the moon everyday
    Mouth of a snake, tongue of a serpent, purpose to wish on prayers and brooks
    I've seen my snake eyes roll with life, triple six's and roman numerals
    Witches and Wizards summon hundreds of suns and moons to robust frash the faction
    For they can not divide the fraction, we have the ration for multiple tongues and suns
    Evolution harbors are date, from snakes, to lizards then dragons
    Revelation harbors and garners dragons that flew across lakes of despair and idealism
    Zealism and betrayal harbor hate and anger, despair and agony betray love
    Yet we do not betray questions and exclamations points, we have splendor period.
    Snakes slither and swim as serpents in clear blue sparkling water and embers
    Embers and water the sparkle thoughts of betrayal and innocent rage
    The eyes of a snake flew passed graveyards of despair and grief
    And saw the mice in the black hole, whose space betrayed it's siege
    Snakes lay seeds of life and light, in the night - snakes feast on anguish
    They thirst for mavericks, for it is the horse who wanted water, then got slaughtered
    Snakes birth sons and daughters, they dragon sentiment through betrayal on horseback
    We sea grief and despair in sharks and serpents, devouring ships in a battle for tranquility
    For tranquility is the next pace for peace, we seek peace with splendor and joy
    We sea the light god created, the snake of eden was a boy
    For I am a boy, gracious in stance, with the fellowship of demanding
    I sea the light darkness created, now follow my commandments,,,

  2. #2

    Re: Swimming With Snakes

    I know this was a battle version, but I'll still give feedback.

    I like the idea you took with this topic. I feel the world is a sea of snakes not just within water gates itself. Although the message is quite well rounded with conveying a reception. Some words came off as repetitive in some cases, but that was minor duplicates. You gave a story that showcased evil in its rare form. Considering the whole Adam and EVE intermission within themselves. The flow was standard and nothing too broad over seeing the readers. Good imagery and well developed words inserted by choice. Good subject and read poet.
    The end of a Revelation.... But a Clever Word always illustrated.

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