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Thread: Childhood

  1. #1

    Post Childhood

    This one is for my language Arts teacher
    In the sixth grade,
    I hope none of these vague remarks reach ya
    Just couldn't see myself wearing the same clothes
    At a bus stop wishing I was pushing a range rov..
    Er, the James Baldwin of this rap shit,
    I'm basked wit, the tactics of a villain
    I'm killin these good guys I'm Paul out of Damascus
    Throw me in the wild I'll come back John the Baptist
    Throw me in the wild I'll come back wit half the axis
    And snatch the smile from these allied niggas
    I got a vision from above like a owl eye give us
    Or a bird eye view, if I don't see his other face then my third eye do
    If I don't see his other face, then I swerve by dude
    Cause I'm just as concrete as the curb I grew
    And to, the club waiter who saw what I'd amount to later
    Hell ..i coulda been a fry cook or a couch potato
    But remove the sofa and use some soda
    In time I can be lup, yay or a super nova
    Wit the atomic mass and super strings of a super nova
    .. Better get it confirmed
    Cause I'm the freshest ticket in it fars a critics concerned
    And I can press it to the limit if u give me a turn
    Cause it's thug life ..ya live and ya learn
    Dear Ben Frank, ima mourn a bit when u leave
    But I bet I stand out, like an ornament on a tree
    Like a foreign, lex or a V
    or a hornet next to a new
    Like when baaron Davis used to play for Charlotte
    I'm killing these blood suckers like I'm made from garlic

  2. #2
    AJ The Menace Echelon's Avatar
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    Jun 2014
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    Re: Childhood

    I thought this was a decent read, Orlando Lo.

    Overall - It seems you are a beginner here, and as a writer in general or something - that's quite alright. This was okay for a start..it was good in ways...lol. You have good ideas tossed around here and there. You may need to work on flow and rhyme scheme - but that's okay. Your ideas need to come first, and need to be complete in a way - lol. But that was a okay read. Nice one, man. Keep writing!

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