i cant do a bar for bar breakdown for grimm bc theres all this highlighting and bold and shit in the quote. definitely a style from like 10 + years ago when you had to point out everything and even add some expos. but imo this group on RB is intelligent enough to do away with this. that aside I think your wording cause use some work. the concepts were ok just needed better delivery. opener was ok, and the wordplay for tiny/ti/ugly/ that wasnt bad either. I could see you doing much better next week just by making a few ez changes.
OVERALL: exalted had 2 bars that were nice. good stuff. i don't think either 1 showed there true potential here.
VOTE/ EXALTED