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Thread: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1) - Open 4 Votes

  1. #1
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    Smile LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1) - Open 4 Votes

    verses due: Thursday 11:59PST
    Minimum Lines = 12 Lines
    Maximum Lines = 20 Lines



    Extension: Up to opponent IF verse completed & posted/sent. Otherwise at the Moderators discretion.

    VOTING CLOSES SUNDAY NIGHT/MONDAY MORNING
    BATTLES SET SHORTLY AFTER!


    2 No-Shows = Season Ban

    NO BITING OR RECYCLING!!!!
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    Edits:
    First Person can't edit after second person posts their verse
    Second person can't edit after first vote


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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1)

    check 12

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    AJ The Menace Echelon's Avatar
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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1)

    This dooby kid ain't freaking sick, seas will rip; on this floozy trip
    you're losing kid, I'm the choosing sin; I'm putting 'plot in a hole' like a movie twist
    callback is mentioned, I draw pens with pension; pen pens with conception
    break bread with recollection, I'm putting 'plot behind bars' like Shawshank Redemption
    You're not in my ballpark; call sharks on this narc's heart; I'll hit a homerun out the ballpark
    I'll pull your card like hallmark; if 'plot is deep with the flows' it's the Jaws Shark
    this is the gloomy mix; dubious kid; floozy ish' you're a stooge and snitch
    I have the treasure kid; and you couldn't 'pleasure sin' masturbating with a crucifix
    this is war with floozy; swords are doozys; I'll bury you beneath the floorboard groupie
    swords will choose thee; only times 'plots on point' is in horror movies
    I'm breaking a lame, shaving your face with razor blades the size of a chain
    subside you're a fake, this serpent will 'put plot in the air' like snakes on a plane
    this chimps burning, kids jerking in a casket with men burning
    666? you don't call the mark, if 'plot is dark' we're talking Tim Burton
    I'll choke this hash, slash your back with broken glass and a rope to sash
    i'm the dopest man, that'll turn you to smoke; then burn the smoke to ash
    popping uzis, stop this floozy appalling groupie popping toolies
    i'll spark bazookas; and if 'plot is evil' it's doctor doom schemes
    you're in straight denial floozie; i have two black uzis for your clue freak
    this rhymes a doozy; cus' I'll 'put plot underground' like the eight mile movie!

    20 lines..let's see!
    Last edited by Echelon; March 19th, 2019 at 02:36 AM

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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1)

    So you think your texts bad guy, coz your really bad at text? Dog please,
    Thanos ruined the multiverse, you just ruin a verse with multies.
    You’d cower from a strong breeze, faggot wanna-be you’re a rap-comedy,
    Yo Sins about to drop the Bom! lastest from the Bureau of Meteorology.
    Honestly bro, just painful attempting to even read your strangeness,
    We all find Syntaxing, before even talking about the grammar arrangements.
    You lack ability, quit these text exchanges and go brush-up on calligraphy,
    Coz Sinew weak as fuck! Now piss-off somewhere and die of muscular dystrophy!
    When my cliques together, there's agendas to address, topics for discussion,
    Sin, your just hiding your gender with a dress, coz you short dick is disgustin.
    Pathetic virgin, this glam-rock fan-boy only ever dreams of being with women,
    Wanna share a KISS with a demon? try being licked by Gene Simmons.
    IRL you fat as fuck, about to go on a crash diet when I smite with blugeons,
    The pump-action'll strip half your body-weight, thats some cheap liposuction.
    You don’t want beef, I'm known to keep a pair of beasts that eat bananas,
    No Tibetan priests Sin, but these two llamas will help you reach Nirvana.

  5. #5
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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1) - Open 4 Votes

    This dooby kid ain't freaking sick, seas will rip; on this floozy trip
    you're losing kid, I'm the choosing sin; I'm putting 'plot in a hole' like a movie twist
    concept was great but you shit the bed on it.. half points for the idea w/wack execution

    callback is mentioned, I draw pens with pension; pen pens with conception
    break bread with recollection, I'm putting 'plot behind bars' like Shawshank Redemption
    man seriously? the same 'exact format' and poor execution? and wtf was that set up? no, no and no.

    You're not in my ballpark; call sharks on this narc's heart; I'll hit a homerun out the ballpark
    I'll pull your card like hallmark; if 'plot is deep with the flows' it's the Jaws Shark
    bro... you can't rhyme ballpark w/narc heart and then ballpark again.. wtf is up w/your multi obsession? same format on the 'punch' again, every punch an attempted name play, sorry bro but you're really flopping here

    this is the gloomy mix; dubious kid; floozy ish' you're a stooge and snitch
    I have the treasure kid; and you couldn't 'pleasure sin' masturbating with a crucifix
    do you want him to pleasure you? I'm not sure I see the direction you're going here..

    this is war with floozy; swords are doozys; I'll bury you beneath the floorboard groupie
    swords will choose thee; only times 'plots on point' is in horror movies
    OK that's enough with the wack 'plot' plays, and THREE MOVIE PUNCHES?!

    I'm breaking a lame, shaving your face with razor blades the size of a chain
    subside you're a fake, this serpent will 'put plot in the air' like snakes on a plane
    I don't even know what to say anymore

    this chimps burning, kids jerking in a casket with men burning
    666? you don't call the mark, if 'plot is dark' we're talking Tim Burton
    Sigh.

    I'll choke this hash, slash your back with broken glass and a rope to sash
    i'm the dopest man, that'll turn you to smoke; then burn the smoke to ash
    no.

    popping uzis, stop this floozy appalling groupie popping toolies
    i'll spark bazookas; and if 'plot is evil' it's doctor doom schemes
    Again. no.

    you're in straight denial floozie; i have two black uzis for your clue freak
    this rhymes a doozy; cus' I'll 'put plot underground' like the eight mile movie!
    omfg another movie/plot fail

    vs

    So you think your texts bad guy, coz your really bad at text? Dog please,
    Thanos ruined the multiverse, you just ruin a verse with multies.
    strong, effective shot and completely relevant, creative. you won off this alone

    You’d cower from a strong breeze, faggot wanna-be you’re a rap-comedy,
    Yo Sins about to drop the Bom! lastest from the Bureau of Meteorology.
    not really feeling this

    Honestly bro, just painful attempting to even read your strangeness,
    We all find Syntaxing, before even talking about the grammar arrangements.
    excellent, along the lines of your opener, good stuff

    You lack ability, quit these text exchanges and go brush-up on calligraphy,
    Coz Sinew weak as fuck! Now piss-off somewhere and die of muscular dystrophy!
    concept was good, execution was sub-par. half points on this one

    When my cliques together, there's agendas to address, topics for discussion,
    Sin, your just hiding your gender with a dress, coz you short dick is disgustin.
    nah

    Pathetic virgin, this glam-rock fan-boy only ever dreams of being with women,
    Wanna share a KISS with a demon? try being licked by Gene Simmons.
    not a fan of this.. but better than 99% of your opponent's verse

    IRL you fat as fuck, about to go on a crash diet when I smite with blugeons,
    The pump-action'll strip half your body-weight, thats some cheap liposuction.
    not that great but OK

    You don’t want beef, I'm known to keep a pair of beasts that eat bananas,
    No Tibetan priests Sin, but these two llamas will help you reach Nirvana.
    decent


    I'm sorry, but Sinning you really should not be in LLL... You might be a cool dude and all but this is making the league look bad IMO. No offense meant you're just not a battle textcee, bottom line.. you either gotta give up your unhealthy obsession with multi's at the cost of quality, or stick to topicals and poetry.. you're inexperience in writing really shows because you try so hard to rhyme at all costs.. and it doesn't add quality to your writtens, in fact it detracts from it.. Plot on the other hand you were effective, entertaining and had some creative concepts. Work on your execution you could end up doing well in playoffs if you step up the effectiveness of your wording.. good job here

    v/Plot

  6. #6
    Needs no introduction Barcotic's Avatar
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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1)

    Sinning
    This dooby kid ain't freaking sick, seas will rip; on this floozy trip
    you're losing kid, I'm the choosing sin; I'm putting 'plot in a hole' like a movie twist
    wording of this bar was awful but the decent concept was there. unfortunately it didnt hit
    callback is mentioned, I draw pens with pension; pen pens with conception
    break bread with recollection, I'm putting 'plot behind bars' like Shawshank Redemption
    nahhh man lol
    You're not in my ballpark; call sharks on this narc's heart; I'll hit a homerun out the ballpark
    I'll pull your card like hallmark; if 'plot is deep with the flows' it's the Jaws Shark
    wack
    this is the gloomy mix; dubious kid; floozy ish' you're a stooge and snitch
    I have the treasure kid; and you couldn't 'pleasure sin' masturbating with a crucifix
    ...
    this is war with floozy; swords are doozys; I'll bury you beneath the floorboard groupie
    swords will choose thee; only times 'plots on point' is in horror movies
    doesnt even make sense...
    I'm breaking a lame, shaving your face with razor blades the size of a chain
    subside you're a fake, this serpent will 'put plot in the air' like snakes on a plane
    dope concept, terrible execution
    this chimps burning, kids jerking in a casket with men burning
    666? you don't call the mark, if 'plot is dark' we're talking Tim Burton
    no
    I'll choke this hash, slash your back with broken glass and a rope to sash
    i'm the dopest man, that'll turn you to smoke; then burn the smoke to ash
    wack
    popping uzis, stop this floozy appalling groupie popping toolies
    i'll spark bazookas; and if 'plot is evil' it's doctor doom schemes
    nope
    you're in straight denial floozie; i have two black uzis for your clue freak
    this rhymes a doozy; cus' I'll 'put plot underground' like the eight mile movie!
    ur stretching tf outta these plot concepts

    ...
    ...
    ...


    Plot
    So you think your texts bad guy, coz your really bad at text? Dog please,
    Thanos ruined the multiverse, you just ruin a verse with multies.
    lmao dope, well done
    You’d cower from a strong breeze, faggot wanna-be you’re a rap-comedy,
    Yo Sins about to drop the Bom! lastest from the Bureau of Meteorology
    pretty good
    Honestly bro, just painful attempting to even read your strangeness,
    We all find Syntaxing, before even talking about the grammar arrangements.
    good
    You lack ability, quit these text exchanges and go brush-up on calligraphy,
    Coz Sinew weak as fuck! Now piss-off somewhere and die of muscular dystrophy!
    eh, not feelin this one
    When my cliques together, there's agendas to address, topics for discussion,
    Sin, your just hiding your gender with a dress, coz you short dick is disgustin.
    too loose of a connection here, IMO. creative points tho
    Pathetic virgin, this glam-rock fan-boy only ever dreams of being with women,
    Wanna share a KISS with a demon? try being licked by Gene Simmons.
    god no, dont do this
    IRL you fat as fuck, about to go on a crash diet when I smite with blugeons,
    The pump-action'll strip half your body-weight, thats some cheap liposuction.
    nah, seems like filler but iont blame u
    You don’t want beef, I'm known to keep a pair of beasts that eat bananas,
    No Tibetan priests Sin, but these two llamas will help you reach Nirvana.
    pretty cool, a little corny w the nirvana bit but dope concept

    no need to tally
    v/plot

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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1)

    sinning: good attempt at putting together different rhymes and multi syllable rhymes. you used the concept and nameplay of "plot" far to many times. altho each time was unique and a good attempt at a punchline, you still could be more versatility in your approach. i like ur style but it needs improvements. try not to rhyme just to rhyme, if ur gonna go multi heavy then try to connect the ideas and string them along. good improvement from last weak in structuring punches.

    plot: the wording in some of your bars was funny. your opener was Lotb. gene simmons line was lite but made me laugh. your closer was a bit played. i would just continue coming up with new concepts that hit a bit harder as personals if u can find something on the guy. solid verse

    v/ Plot for having harder punchlines
    $usernamejoshs

    $9.99 for an unbiased vote
    $14.99 full breakdown vote

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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1) - Open 4 Votes

    Sin:
    Snakes on a plane

    Vs
    Plot:
    Opener- yes.
    Syntax- yup.
    Closer- this was ok.

    Sin- you od'd on the plot lines. Also put less effort into multies. More focus on actual strong punchlines
    Plot- decent drop. Didnt need much for the win

    Vote plot
    Kill a bitch and kill her kid
    all depends what her nigga did
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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1) - Open 4 Votes

    So you think your texts bad guy, coz your really bad at text? Dog please,
    Thanos ruined the multiverse, you just ruin a verse with multies.

    vs Nothing...

    pretty easy since sinning didn't say much... u gotta work on a couple things AJ... couple of the concepts are played and predictable..
    plot verse wasn't much better... opener was really the only thing worth mentioning,,

    ,Sin, your just hiding your gender with a dress, coz you short dick is disgustin…

    always found stuff like this sus..but to each his own...

    V- Plot

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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1) - Open 4 Votes

    Sin -
    Always amusing reading your verses. As I've said before I suspect that you're somebody on an alias having a laugh. The stupid multis were there as always, it doesn't seem to matter how many times and how many people tell you to stop with that shit but w/e it's amusing - "I draw pens with pension; pen pens with conception" was a highlight of that here. Actually some decent ideas with Plot nameplays - in the air could've been dope - but you OD'd hard on them and the wording/irrelevant and stupid multis kill any impact they might've had.


    Plot -
    Some good lines here. Opener was a dope personal. Syntaxing and Sinew were solid nameplays (the wording on the latter could've been stronger for the punch though), and I thought liposuction was good too. I think the BOM is Australia only so the yanks might not dig it, I thought it was OK. Good stuff man, I hope you will stick around a while. You have the potential to go from good at this to very good at this, - just need time and polish. Anyways, I officially award you the title of 2nd best Australian textcee


    V/ Plot

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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1) - Open 4 Votes

    Sinning
    -i assume the whole plot/movie concept has been done a hundred diff ways already, and 75% of your verse was a diffeent plot movie flip
    -the set-ups are laughable again this week, and detract from any good punch you might have had
    -it's clear from your votes & setups ur just trolling & arent actually trying to improve


    vs


    Plot
    -Opener was fire, great hit because of the personal
    -Syntaxing was a cool np I cant recall seeing b4
    -Closer was a cool concept


    Plot won
    "Sound stuff out guys" - Barcotic

  12. #12
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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1) - Open 4 Votes

    So you think your texts bad guy, coz your really bad at text? Dog please,
    Thanos ruined the multiverse, you just ruin a verse with multies.
    cool
    You’d cower from a strong breeze, faggot wanna-be you’re a rap-comedy,
    Yo Sins about to drop the Bom! lastest from the Bureau of Meteorology.
    meh.. light needed to be harsher
    Honestly bro, just painful attempting to even read your strangeness,
    We all find Syntaxing, before even talking about the grammar arrangements.
    This was cool
    You lack ability, quit these text exchanges and go brush-up on calligraphy,
    Coz Sinew weak as fuck! Now piss-off somewhere and die of muscular dystrophy!
    nice
    When my cliques together, there's agendas to address, topics for discussion,
    Sin, your just hiding your gender with a dress, coz you short dick is disgustin.
    nah
    Pathetic virgin, this glam-rock fan-boy only ever dreams of being with women,
    Wanna share a KISS with a demon? try being licked by Gene Simmons.
    nah
    IRL you fat as fuck, about to go on a crash diet when I smite with blugeons,
    The pump-action'll strip half your body-weight, thats some cheap liposuction
    basic/played concept.
    You don’t want beef, I'm known to keep a pair of beasts that eat bananas,
    No Tibetan priests Sin, but these two llamas will help you reach Nirvana
    this was ok


    Overall- Didnt like a single thing from sin...and im not breaking down his verse. Not one of his bars hit. Plot had some misses but some connected. he didnt need to do much to win this so i dont blame him.

    V/Plot

  13. #13
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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sinning View Post
    This dooby kid ain't freaking sick, seas will rip; on this floozy trip
    you're losing kid, I'm the choosing sin; I'm putting 'plot in a hole' like a movie twist
    callback is mentioned, I draw pens with pension; pen pens with conception
    break bread with recollection, I'm putting 'plot behind bars' like Shawshank Redemption
    You're not in my ballpark; call sharks on this narc's heart; I'll hit a homerun out the ballpark
    I'll pull your card like hallmark; if 'plot is deep with the flows' it's the Jaws Shark
    this is the gloomy mix; dubious kid; floozy ish' you're a stooge and snitch
    I have the treasure kid; and you couldn't 'pleasure sin' masturbating with a crucifix
    this is war with floozy; swords are doozys; I'll bury you beneath the floorboard groupie
    swords will choose thee; only times 'plots on point' is in horror movies
    I'm breaking a lame, shaving your face with razor blades the size of a chain
    subside you're a fake, this serpent will 'put plot in the air' like snakes on a plane
    this chimps burning, kids jerking in a casket with men burning
    666? you don't call the mark, if 'plot is dark' we're talking Tim Burton
    I'll choke this hash, slash your back with broken glass and a rope to sash
    i'm the dopest man, that'll turn you to smoke; then burn the smoke to ash
    popping uzis, stop this floozy appalling groupie popping toolies
    i'll spark bazookas; and if 'plot is evil' it's doctor doom schemes
    you're in straight denial floozie; i have two black uzis for your clue freak
    this rhymes a doozy; cus' I'll 'put plot underground' like the eight mile movie!

    20 lines..let's see!
    Quote Originally Posted by Plot View Post
    So you think your texts bad guy, coz your really bad at text? Dog please,
    Thanos ruined the multiverse, you just ruin a verse with multies.
    You’d cower from a strong breeze, faggot wanna-be you’re a rap-comedy,
    Yo Sins about to drop the Bom! lastest from the Bureau of Meteorology.
    Honestly bro, just painful attempting to even read your strangeness,
    We all find Syntaxing, before even talking about the grammar arrangements.
    You lack ability, quit these text exchanges and go brush-up on calligraphy,
    Coz Sinew weak as fuck! Now piss-off somewhere and die of muscular dystrophy!
    When my cliques together, there's agendas to address, topics for discussion,
    Sin, your just hiding your gender with a dress, coz you short dick is disgustin.
    Pathetic virgin, this glam-rock fan-boy only ever dreams of being with women,
    Wanna share a KISS with a demon? try being licked by Gene Simmons.
    IRL you fat as fuck, about to go on a crash diet when I smite with blugeons,
    The pump-action'll strip half your body-weight, thats some cheap liposuction.
    You don’t want beef, I'm known to keep a pair of beasts that eat bananas,
    No Tibetan priests Sin, but these two llamas will help you reach Nirvana.
    @Blue Bayou -- So are you allowed to drop LESS bars, as long as it's not more than the first dude? Or do you have to match?

    Cuz my guy is short and idk if this is just like whatever or if it breaks the rules.

  14. #14
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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1) - Open 4 Votes

    Sinning -- Best attempt was plot in air. But I bet your swords ARE doozys..

    Plot -- Syntaxing, Multiverse was cool but specific to more comics than the film, which is fine but more obscure. Sinew was ok.

    VOTE PLOT

  15. #15
    FUCK YOU! Spree's Avatar
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    Re: LLL Week 3: Plot (0-1) vs. Sinning (0-1) - Open 4 Votes

    Plot wins

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