LLL Week 9 Magazine
It's the "who let this m'fer write a magazine?" edition. No edits or cheesy comments about the state of the league. I will absolutely not mention anything positive and the top 10 punches section will be empty. There will how ever be a top 10 disgusting multis by Sinicog. So be on the look out for that! The number of battles for week 9 is down to 5. But the quality of those battles is what matters here. Below are the match ups for this week but skip all that "whos gonna win" ratio bull shit and just read the bars when it's open for votes. LETS GO~
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WEEK 9 HYPE
LLL Week 9 Championship Match: $pitacular1 (5-2) vs. Lay Doubt (2-1)
This battle is essentially for a vacant title that Dominate chose not to defend. Coming off a bye week, Spit should be ready to go. Lay Doubt's week 8 match up with Barcotic was as heated as a text battle can get, I assume. Unless you go back like 15 years ago when dudes were really trynna meet up & fight over a rap battle forum beef. With ALL that said, I'm really looking forward to this 1. I wont forget to mention that LD's record for the league is lite. 2 wins and already got a title match. Don't sleep on spit. That's all around good advice.
LLL Week 9 Contendership Match: King (6-1) vs. Blue Bayou (6-1)
Yes, this is a contendership match. The highly anticipated rematch between 2 of the leagues former champs. In the last meeting we saw Blue drop a consistent onslaught of yo mama jokes. That's not what happened at all but you can go back and read it your self by clicking here Both were undefeated at the time and King had already been on a mean streak to gain the championship. For some reason King chose to procrastinate and basically drop filler for his last few bars which really hurt his chances for any one who uses a points system for voting. This synopsis gets a 1.5/5
LLL Week 9: Useless (4-4) vs. JEM (4-4)
Y'all both got the fo-fo so this should be fireworks. If this isn't one of the most even battles of the week, god damn. If I did give a ratio for who's gonna win I'd honestly have to say 50/50. As far as the styles go, that's where these 2 differ. Another quality battle. It's not a stretch to say that the winner of this should have a contenders match so expect a banger.
LLL Week 9: Reef Flex (2-6) vs. Joe Boston (3-4)
I can't really comment to much on this 1 here but I think Boston has been a consistent force in this league, even going back to last season when I was looking through. I wont be taking this guy lightly and you know i've got some shiiiit for you! AYOO BOSTON!!!!
LLL Week 9: Unfukwitable (1-2) vs. Razor Sharp (1-0)
Last but not least we got da Mike TriO and the razor sharp guy. If Unfukwitable can put more time into his verse then last week this could be a real dope battle. Razor has shown some skills with his NS verse against Shrek or w/e that dude is. get that guy the fuck outa here please. Razor sent him packing. IF Sharp is going to compete with some 1 on the level of TriO then he's gonna need to bring the whole kit.
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Throw Back Battle
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...vs-J-Hens-(4-0)
..Starscream! Vs. J.Hens.
WINNER WAS HENS
..Starscream!
last battle I killed two bitches, sent em on fire to heaven slayed
This week I’m face’n a fag…& that’s just how JH spends his entire 7 days
Bitch I know ur style,.. and honestly ya rap soft, its jokes
A reaching quote, filler and corny meta’s trying to get passed off as dope
His 1st bars never original, i’ll snap ya spine without warning
Cuz its always just a flip to open like business signs in the morning
Seriously pussy.. when it comes to mackin your the worst, mate
They say chicks dig scars..i might actually help John get his first date
You’ve run some leagues, but ya fell off & now all ur dropping is ass
We never see this modern respect..any ounce he had was lost in the past
No bitch is gunna give u her heart, stop lying..ur frontin’s relentless
Only time we’ll ever see Henin love is watchin Justine suckin at tennis
Ya me n my girl fight.. but your virgin ass doesn’t impress, sorry
s’why I’ve got make-up sex stories, you just gotta make-up sex stories
Don’t ask how I am.. what I’m doing, I don’t wanna hear Hensley speak
Fuck the small-talk..i get enough from ya girl about ur dick every week
You can’t get by me.. I’m the better writer, your not an obstacle dude
So what you lookin for a write of passage 4? I’ll murk u in a topical too
I snatched ur chain & ya bitch..but the one made me wanna hurl Hens
So I’ll give you ya Silverback..not the chain, ur guerilla of a girlfriend!
What are you an Ares? Pieces? If there’s more I’m sorry I missed em
Actually fuck ya Zodiac..i’ll just leave ya dead like one of his victims
VS.
----------------------------------J.Hens.
this is the LLL championship?
Where's M~M, Savir, Feebs. the vets who used to run this shit.
Now i'm facin Blue for the title. jesus rapbattles. tell me you didn't come to THIS.
Horrifying. it seems too drastic, but i'll leave him breathin' plastic.
When i direct more blades into Scream than Wes Craven's most recent classic.
He might seem fantastic, this pedophile act very slick, or what?
The square has kids jump in more than the hopskotch game where he picks em' up.
You act sick as fuck, but u flip shit thus., it can only be encaved.
Ya style gives ME the spins? nah..it's also got Frac n' Resin rollin' in their graves.
Your lines are screaming played. i kno my archives live in your head.
Fresh? your shit's an echo of mine. just a fading repeat of what i originally said.
You ain't champ material, no1 this wack is controllin their luck.
The title match is a sight for sore eyes. n' afterwards urs'll be black & swollen as fuck.
It ain't your day. i'll merk you and whoever ur crews aquainted wit.
If it's a Starry Night... then i'ma cut off ya fuckin ear like the dude who painted it.
Battling is ALL you're about. no wonder your rhymes are gay.
Cell designers look to u for inspiration. the way u flip out for text hundrds of times a day.
Wit this fagot's weak lines, i never hear cats saying your hot at all.
Kayakers could use your skills rapid-decline to help training for waterfalls.
Apparently incest's an idea that someone who's single supports.
But your rash decision making.. is what caused ur grandmothers shingles and warts.
Your dead now. any chance for this dude is over.
Keep spacin. my bazooka'll cause a Star explosion that could classify as a supernova.
pzzz
LLL Week 8 Battle reviews
LLL Week 8 Contendership: Lay Doubt (1-1) vs Barcotic (4-2)
Dope battle guys. All the shit talking aside, when you have people coming out the woodworks to hate, that's how you know y'all did ur thing. Whether or not it's HOF idc.. i think that got taken to literal when lay doubt said it. the battle was entertaining. let those bitches on the side line talk, they're not battling and they damn sure arent voting. in fact who the fuck is voting? I'm sure Barcotic will be back and a future rematch between these 2 would be sick.
LLL Week 8: Blue Bayou (5-1) vs JEM (4-3)
I was looking for a way to sum up this battle and then I remembered reading Clout's vote.
Clout
Well Jem is one of my favorite up an comers to read. He has a very cool way of coming off cocky without being self brag. I think Blue got him here, just better worded punches. Jem is getting there and i enjoy his writing alot. I hope Jem does a Swag n flow at some point. But for now Blue got this one harder lands, cleaner execution.
LLL Week 8: Reef Flex (2-5) vs Unfukwitable (0-0)
Props to Mike Trio for at showing up. Not much to say here. I thought he had some cool concepts and the closer that he edited in a day after the deadline was fire. distress signal.. fire punch TBH. if u can put a whole verse together like that and not procrastinate like we both just did, then ur a beast. I looked back at your old battles and you could have champed leagues and maybe even do something in the playoffs but you always seemed to no show. I'll definitely be looking out for your battle this week.
LLL Week 8: Joe Boston (2-4) vs Sinning (0-5)
if u read this and was not entertained, then fuck you. Sinning is a HOF caliber multi god. But what happens when a rhyming force meets an unstoppable boston slugger? you get pure mayhem. Unadulterated havoc. The unexpected voter was inundated by sheer textual calamity. this time the battle was on favorable territory for Joe, as he packs a wallop with his raging upper cuts. just pray u never step foot on sinnings turf, where the multis roam the lands. /legendary
LLL Week 8: Razor Sharp (0-0) vs Slecht (0-1)
Shrek No showed again. which should be a life time ban from voting on my battles ever again. /Ego. hope everything is ok with that guy as well. He seems a bit unstable. must be some german thing idk what a slecht is but id probably know if I seen 1. Razor seems to have some old school texting style. Highlighting the multis or the metaphor. I honestly can't blame him for it because sometime people just can't see the wordplay. I think Razor could improve just by battling here.
LLL Week 8 Championship: Dominate (6-1) vs $pitacular (5-2) DOM SIGNS OUT
Kangaroo dude str8 dropped off the bottom of the map. I hope everything is all good with the homie and can't wait to see him back in the league before playoffs. This would surely have been 1 for the thunder dome. Hopefully we can still get this match up somewhere down the road. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think dom had just signed out, no ducky.
LLL Week 8: Useless (3-4) vs Aero (1-1)
Aero wins by way of NS then signs out of the league. No verse to comment on and now Useless is back in. FACTS
LLL Week 8: King (5-1) vs Kill Spree (0-0) King Wins by Forfeit
someone edited in that King won by forfeit. that's hilarious but I think killspree just NS. Would have been another banger.
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Best Lines Of Each Battle
Razor Sharp
REMINGTON 572 w/ a .22 long Cartridge case.
Fuck up ya human element knock out ya whole carbon base
Blue Bayou
castor & pollux are the gats & they're known to get holy at times
so if i approach Gemini open up the Twins i'm not talkin a zodiac sign
JEM
I come through hell or high water, and you blessed for the real fail
& if you don’t feel the slight, it’s cuz Dom told you the devils in the details
Unfuckwitable
After this beating he gon want a doctor;
Punches got RPG impact & King replaced Orc w/ another Monster
Sinning
Devour your essence...I'm Zion...a mountain of weapons...fountain of heaven
I have the power of message...and I'll 'pile drive you from the towers of 911'...
Joe Boston
Pacing back n forth for a dub, called me scrub even whack at personal stabs
Zodiac signs are just a Cancer I’m just hoping one day he catches Crabs
Barcotic
when this is done, he quittin. kid is not the gifted type
but at this point ima Pelé just to kick it on a different site
dimes? hes securing none. s'only dirty sluts he slammin
if a bitch unda'-lay in bed, shes telling him to hurry up in spanish
Lay Doubt
don’t try to be a hero or I’ll negate the day you were born when I’m smashing
act like a Vigilante.. & we’ll be placing bets on how many will mourn at your passing
that's why she stays giving her number, I mean she'll let ANY dude fuck her
the slut fields enough booty calls to keep you & your lawnmower busy thru summer
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Spot light Live Rap Battle
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OUTRO
The back of the mag is where I edit in the phones numbers of some trifling hoes. Or should I post a bunch of pictures of bitches asses to throw off any sent of..... well maybe I should just keep it chill and post some dope music videos or live rap battles in case y'all can't find this shit on your own. No need to thank me, this shit was half ass. I'll be back for the 20th anniversary edition
all of that real gangsta love - Reflex
the full list cost $10.00 dafuq
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@Quote @Token @$pitacular1 @Meks. @ILLunatic @King @Lay Doubt. @Plot @Resin M-I-C @Blue Bayou @Celph Taut @Cred @Dominate @Useless @Orc @Barcotic @Diso @Allen Knight @Attack of the Muff @Diasick @Iontach @Aero @Ctrl Alt Elite @Slick_Banks @Skepto @KnowP @Amen @knucklehead. @Unfukwitable @Letterman @Joe Boston @hello there @bleak @Smog @Sharp @Fatrick Swayze @Clout @Rude Designs @Kill Spree @Equal @Sinning @Bash @Lenox @Greedy @MassAKer @ROHNIN @Skurj. @Cookies @Bomb Bard @Glockamole @B Dot LESNAR @Zunto @slecht @CleverWordz @JEM. @plethora @Exalted. @RealBodySnatcher @Ryno @Emmitt Spliff @Bahriman @GrimmReaperZ @Heir Dillinger @Deal Doe @SoIceyRichG @Blas @SirRhymeAlot @Prozac @Krang @Yungg3462 @lilgucci @ItsCash @Ronan @Serpent @ABL Memphis @J Reaper @Pablo Dun No @Razor Sharp @Barcs Lawnmower @6Kinetic9 @tony alvarez @BarLymPus
Originally Posted by Reef Flex
