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Thread: Warm Ups

  1. #1
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Warm Ups

    "Who the fuck is this" I started to write at 5:28am in the morning
    Only my word locked they want $99 more from my moms to finance - WARNING
    I remember waking up that day texting instincts of a spider done crept up inside her
    I think it was after they ran in my house, so it wasn't a bad dream...
    All this shit what? Just some funny scheme?
    Marshall I went to the dr and he zipped it right up
    But they never followed law and preferred to make me throw up
    The day I felt how he looked, I don't know why I ran either
    Talk to the person that was talking to my soul without my conscience - ETHER
    No, there is a God that truly hates me
    Every time I look at the sun he shines an enemies face just to bate me

    Walking Gabe that morning I felt his heat on my back, like we got our own problems go bother that bitch smoking crack
    Cause like... yay (powder), ok... I never should've did it anyway but per say what good did it do me staying sober
    We drink wine in church, but I read the enebriated man be the worse and that's what it's over?
    While they sat their watching like i was some specimen
    I'm jealous 50 of many men - I wish 3 weeks later my enemies got shot down
    All I scream is shoot, Pac really get around
    I can't send it back, I don't know how to shoot in the dark, I can't pray to God he won't protect me or Marc
    In the end, it isn't over a friend... it's blood to an orphan
    And every other faith she ever put her worth in

    That tequilla hitting - oh shit I'm finally about to cry
    And you don't even have to say it, God can tell me why

    - - - Updated - - -

    Link one: https://statelaws.findlaw.com/south-...mitations.html

    Link two: https://www.google.com/search?source...10._4cJmZJe7jI --- my cpu being biast again - only 7 years
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~¥~+
    CLA919

  2. #2

    Re: Warm Ups

    Nice. In the beginning had that Biggie vibe with the whole warning ideal. I like your usage of transitions that make the story more interesting. The vocabulary was used correctly and not overly botched. Plus I enjoyed the crisp details with a few puns here and there. Overall, I really tuned in to this piece. Keep writing!
    The end of a Revelation.... But a Clever Word always illustrated.

  3. #3
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Mar 2015
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    Re: Warm Ups

    Thanks...
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~¥~+
    CLA919

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