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Thread: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - HT wins

  1. #1
    FUCK YOU! Spree's Avatar
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    Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - HT wins



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    @hello there
    @Fatrick Swayze

  2. #2

    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze

    Checkers
    DamNation

  3. #3
    FUCK YOU! Spree's Avatar
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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze

    @hello there @Fatrick Swayze
    Bars due tonight

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! hello there's Avatar
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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze

    I'll post when I'm goddamn ready

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Fatrick Swayze View Post
    Topic:


    The blackness is consuming, it outlines, easily chalks
    its bitter cold in the shadows where angels never walk
    hidden emotion, heart and soul not to mention her face
    she's un noticed amongst the colors, she's so hard to retrace
    don't mind her, a specter between the glances of '"righteous" men
    a forgotten relic buried in the politics of the ego's whim
    a gate keeper of life forced to never live hers to the fullest
    always the slited, but with closed lips she'll always bite the bullet
    although she's empty on the surface, dig deeper in the sand
    her layers the fullest of all, but none cares to peel her back
    her eyes give a glimpse into heavens promised dance
    a lighthouse in the darkness mentioned, the souls romance
    a beacon that never extinguishes an eternal flame in deep waters
    the life preserve to those making the wrong decisions among the fautors
    a pillar for the lambs, those who get lead in to the slaughter
    but she hides it all in fear of those raised with the same hands as her
    forced into submission asking for permission trying to gain favor
    they run amok with her soul between their hearts and minds alike
    forgetting the lesson taught by her and the love she gave without spite
    murder the innocent, raping her sisters in the name of god
    they pillage the right leaving everything wrong in the rubbles fog
    they praise her with grace, but turn around and spit in her face
    no longer revered, looked upon like a steer holding the bulk of the load
    but she never falls despite the crushing blows you wont see her fold
    but her purpose eternally burns amongst the ashes of her faults
    and though she hides herself, she gives every ounce of her heart
    to those shaped by the brush strokes of a broken art...
    so she keeps her sleeve open for the world to se her true colors
    and so her rainbow extends beyond the song of the squallers


    @Emily
    He wrote this smut for smore head.. An' It May be tuckin' a warhead..
    But if you thought it was Dragon BallZ, those just my nuts on your forehead...

  5. #5

    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze

    Ama come through swinging, let off with the wood to yah face no toothpick
    That’s truth prick no bull shit have you shitting bark bits and wood chips!
    DamNation

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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - VOTE NOW!!!

    hello wins with a subpar bar.... that was sus by the way...
    Fatricks generic multi bar was nothing at all...


    V- HT

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    Why so serious? JEM.'s Avatar
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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - VOTE NOW!!!

    I appreciate the more topical heads coming out of their comfort zone. Hello there clearly won this BUT I would just say as a guiding principle... Fatrick... take one of your dope concepts (topical) and make it rude AF towards your opponent. Less imagery/bar structure more viciousness.

  8. #8
    Chemist
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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - VOTE NOW!!!

    dont dig the dragonball line, felt played. I enjoyed
    fatrrick a bit more

    vote , fastrick

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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - VOTE NOW!!!

    Didn’t like Swayzes setup. Hello had an old wordplay but I felt he connected better with the overall humor factor.

    Hello
    [url]https:

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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - VOTE NOW!!!

    He wrote this smut for smore head.. An' It May be tuckin' a warhead..
    But if you thought it was Dragon BallZ, those just my nuts on your forehead...
    ^interesting setup that seemed to have some wp.. the punch was strange but comical

    versus


    Ama come through swinging, let off with the wood to yah face no toothpick
    That’s truth prick no bull shit have you shitting bark bits and wood chips!
    ^cool rhyme scheme but the punch was a bit repetetive w/"wood" twice n the concept didn't feel very well delivered albeit well tied in in wording

    V/Hello for digging into something a bit more direct and more entertaining. Not a bad bar from Fat too tho overall

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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - VOTE NOW!!!

    Both were funny, Tough one to call. Ima go with the one I felt was worded slightly better..

    v/hello there

  12. #12
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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - VOTE NOW!!!

    HT used a wordplay that at this point can't be flipped any more creatively than it already has throughout the years. He should have lost but Fatrick used a generic multi-oriented bar I felt did less for me than HT's. HT might have used a redundant wordplay but his attempt at the personal was more aggressive, had he not relied on the played wp to connect it, I would have enjoyed it a little better.

    v-HT

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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - VOTE NOW!!!

    V fatrick

    Hello- good personal, not sure where the dbz connect is from, not really related to his piece u quoted or him, from what I can see. Took away from the ok punch from my view

    Swayze - bar had a lot of potential if you could come up with a more creative way to why or how he would shit wood from a bat. Like biting at bat/ozzie Osborne reference or something idk

    There dbz reference hurt hello imo, kinda just thrown in there to make the punch work. Maybe if you just left it with draggin/dragon. You could have tied it into some topical/imagery punch

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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - VOTE NOW!!!

    played wp vs punch that was a little simple. but not a bad battle, i liked both bars tbh. i liked the flow of fatricks bar and HT had a decent flip to his. i think i'm going with HT for a more creative and direct attempt.

    vote HT
    The Last Level

  15. #15
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    Re: Week 2: Hello There Vs Fatrick Swayze - VOTE NOW!!!

    7-2 HT wins

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