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Thread: Week 4: A Disciple (1-2) vs MoFo (0-0) AD Wins by NS

  1. #1
        
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    Awards Legendary Battle SAP Champion 1-2 Season Champion FL Champion LLL Champion Haiku Champion OM HOF Legendary Member LLL Season Champion PC HOF

    Week 4: A Disciple (1-2) vs MoFo (0-0) AD Wins by NS

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    The Last Level

  2. #2
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: Week 4: A Disciple (1-2) vs MoFo (0-0)

    check
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~¥~+
    CLA919

  3. #3
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: Week 4: A Disciple (1-2) vs MoFo (0-0)

    Mofo you a player? You took an oath for life?
    I'll mark you in the dark while you fucking your wife
    What you know of target, dodging and ducking
    Bet you stay with your coop just running and clucking
    Ever see a full circle spin back around
    Ever see a trace lost to be found - young boy
    3 shots near missed my vagina
    You better cop a vest before we coming behind ya
    Taking all names - put your alibi to the side
    Cause if we come to, to run thru and it's true
    It's going to be your suicide

    (at least that's what the coroner gonna report)
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~¥~+
    CLA919

  4. #4
        
    Join Date
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    Awards Legendary Battle SAP Champion 1-2 Season Champion FL Champion LLL Champion Haiku Champion OM HOF Legendary Member LLL Season Champion PC HOF

    Re: Week 4: A Disciple (1-2) vs MoFo (0-0)

    @MoFo
    The Last Level

  5. #5
    Do you get it yet? Networth's Avatar
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    Re: Week 4: A Disciple (1-2) vs MoFo (0-0) OPEN FOR FEED

    Mofo you a player? You took an oath for life?
    I'll mark you in the dark while you fucking your wife
    ^meh.. shouldve set this up a little better and/or attacked much harder
    What you know of target, dodging and ducking
    Bet you stay with your coop just running and clucking
    ^nah..altho i see where u were going this had no sting and felt almost childish
    Ever see a full circle spin back around
    Ever see a trace lost to be found - young boy
    ^U talkin to em now.. this would be kinda tight in audio but it doesn't evoke even a second though in text
    3 shots near missed my vagina
    You better cop a vest before we coming behind ya
    Taking all names - put your alibi to the side
    Cause if we come to, to run thru and it's true
    It's going to be your suicide
    ^Thes lines lacked structure and 'side' was repetitive to a fault, that lessened the effect of this punch


    So yea, I definitely see you improving in strides.. just continue to read up on whatever texts you like on the site and potentially emulate whichever wordplay,nameplay, personal and current angles you like. and although its best to keep your own style, you may wanna loo into altering it to fit the text format a bit more, even tho it's clear that from the beginning to now, you have already. So, keep up the work AD..and soon, I'm sure, it will be considered good work. Good effort tho Sis.

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