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January 6th, 2020, 08:13 PM
#1
...is STONED
LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon ECH WINS
https://i.postimg.cc/Z5nm0vZz/LLL-LOGO.png
LLL Season 24
Regular Season Rules
10 lines
(unless agreed upon by both battlers)
No Bullshit Allowed
MUST CHECK IN BY THURSDAY
VERSES DUE SATURDAY11:59 PST
24 hour EXT must be granted by opponent
BATTLES CLOSE W.E
@Echelon
@Encrypted Data
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January 7th, 2020, 11:25 AM
#2
Re: LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon
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January 8th, 2020, 05:27 AM
#3
AJ The Menace
Re: LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon
Okay, Let's do this..
I have a ruthless plan, I'm the stupor plan..the blanket sands..
I'll give this cherry a sip, and bury 'Superman in the crypt'; and you still wouldn't be superman!
I was going to stop Disputer; now I killed the king with the lawful stupor
I'm a top abuser; when I'm 'POPPING CRYPT' like pop ups on computers!
I'll have you sold for price; bold as lice with a cobra slice
Soul on ice; I'm 'HOT AS HELL' while you're as cold as ice!
I'm a rapper; a attacker with attacking hatchets with rancor
I'm a dagger; I'm 'KICKING ENCRYPTION(SHIN)' like a HACKER!
I'm a demon that killed Jesus; I am dreaming
I am sea men; I'm 'KILLNG DATA' like deletion!
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January 8th, 2020, 03:22 PM
#4
Re: LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon
Fill his body with adderall now he upper echelon
You’re dope, I’m pure drugs ,steph curry this shot with the arm,in its best form
Every L that you’ve taken, flip it into stairs you’re stepped on
I’m rubber you are glue, you know the story’s moral
But that rubber reference meant I stretch arms
You want war, my thoughts Trump yours. get a grip like you got sweat palms, stop it
At least I’m giving you advice, your moms a goner and your dads fucked that’s a step mom logic
While you’re dressed to death, Beat you until you have no air, ironic he’ll keep on coffin
my wing span is 6’3 on 6 ft, I’m walking death and stretched punches ..long reach
Stepping to me you Walked down death row. Suge knight you off the roof for odd speech
Let’s get some votes!
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January 8th, 2020, 11:10 PM
#5
...is STONED
Re: LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon VOTE NOW!
Both you guys need to read other battles on here and learn how to set ur punches up..ech was flowing alright but them attacks were falling flat.. Bury superman then u end with superman again doesnt work.. Your 2nd bar was ur best bar and still needed to be alot more creative..decent attempt at a nameplay tho... Killing data and shin was ok attmpts also at nameplay they just needed a stronger setup.. This is the best i seen from u tho.. Keep getting better... As for data.. Basically the shit i said to ech applys to u also.. U have to learn set ups and then punch at the end... Read and vote on some battles around her and check out how we are setting up punches and rhymes.. Make sure your not stretching lines and making shit choppy.. Think outside the box
VOTE ECH
Better attempts
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January 10th, 2020, 06:11 PM
#6
You've Earned a Custom Title!
Re: LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon VOTE NOW!
I have a ruthless plan, I'm the stupor plan..the blanket sands..
I'll give this cherry a sip, and bury 'Superman in the crypt'; and you still wouldn't be superman!
Oh man. Please don't let the rest of this verse be like this. Way too long. As far as the actual content, where to begin? It's too much. Just... don't ever do anything like this ever again.
I was going to stop Disputer; now I killed the king with the lawful stupor
I'm a top abuser; when I'm 'POPPING CRYPT' like pop ups on computers!
I can't remember the last time I ever heard or seen the word stupor and now you've used it twice. tf? You're trying too hard to rhyme things, I can see it already. Also, don't use quotes and caps to emphasize shit, the way you word it should provide the emphasis.
Think on that
I'll have you sold for price; bold as lice with a cobra slice
Soul on ice; I'm 'HOT AS HELL' while you're as cold as ice!
You're writing your bars as if they are solely judged on rhyme patterns. To be blunt, your shit sounds nice but either doesn't make sense, or is very basic.
I'm a rapper; a attacker with attacking hatchets with rancor
I'm a dagger; I'm 'KICKING ENCRYPTION(SHIN)' like a HACKER!
Definitely don't explain shit in parenthesis.
I'm a demon that killed Jesus; I am dreaming
I am sea men; I'm 'KILLNG DATA' like deletion!
More of the same shit... "I am sea men" did you really just say that shit?
Man overall this just isn't a winning style. Like I mentioned, you're trying too hard to force multiple rhymes in your bars. Maybe in a real rap battle that works but in text it doesn't translate if it aint hard or witty. Keep the rhyme scheme under control man, dial it down to only two or three times in the entire bar. And you gotta have more creative punches than "i'm hot as hell and youre cold as ice"
2/10
VS
Fill his body with adderall now he upper echelon
You’re dope, I’m pure drugs ,steph curry this shot with the arm,in its best form
I was with you until the punch. Wording is way off, clunky.
Every L that you’ve taken, flip it into stairs you’re stepped on
I’m rubber you are glue, you know the story’s moral
Originally I thought you were combining three lines into one bar, cuz clearly, this didn't rhyme at all and the next line does. But you wrote 10 lines. So something is fucked up here.
But that rubber reference meant I stretch arms
You want war, my thoughts Trump yours. get a grip like you got sweat palms, stop it
Wtf
At least I’m giving you advice, your moms a goner and your dads fucked that’s a step mom logic
While you’re dressed to death, Beat you until you have no air, ironic he’ll keep on coffin
Finally a resemblance of a punch. Setup is weird, but i see what you were going for in the punch.
my wing span is 6’3 on 6 ft, I’m walking death and stretched punches ..long reach
Stepping to me you Walked down death row. Suge knight you off the roof for odd speech
Nah man. This doesn't hit at all
Wow this verse had me confused. It's like it's unfinished or you left in a sentence you didnt mean or some shit. After reading Echelon's verse I thought there's no way the second verse is worse. But it is it's own kind of bad. Wtf happened with those bars and the rhyme scheme? Maybe I'm trippin.
Shit... this is also a 2.
Fuck it I vote tie. Is this the quality of the league right now?
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.
...
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.
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Actually nah I vote Data. I just reread the battle and nah.... "I am sea men" got me dying.
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January 12th, 2020, 03:35 AM
#7
Re: LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon VOTE NOW!
holy crap this battle was aweful, did data have an I'm ruber your glue bar? ech came off like he was battling someone else the entire time like he recycled old shit or bit some whack shit, I think there was lesser cringe worthy shit from ech this time around, altho he had his fair share of that, ech spams multies and doesn't have any punches, data was on some other shit. vote ech for being less cringe fml no one should win this!
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January 13th, 2020, 01:39 PM
#8
Re: LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon VOTE NOW!
Let’s get some votes! Good stuff Ech.
All criticism is warranted and gonna be taken on the chin. I’ll continue to work on my craft.
Thanks for voting.
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January 13th, 2020, 03:53 PM
#9
AJ The Menace
Re: LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon VOTE NOW!
Good verse, Encrypted Data.
Sorry, this battle is over
Good battle.
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January 13th, 2020, 04:50 PM
#10
...is STONED
Re: LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon VOTE NOW!
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January 13th, 2020, 05:25 PM
#11
Why so serious?
Re: LLL Week 17: Encrypted Data vs Echelon VOTE NOW!
v/Ech.
Maybe for not all the right reasons... but I laughed at the opener. lol. The last two bars where name flips, I suppose? Encrypted - your structure was falling to pieces... but truthfully I almost felt like I was reading drops done by the same person?
Either way -
v/ Ech.
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