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Thread: The Ballad of (gay) Kill Spree

  1. #1

    The Ballad of (gay) Kill Spree

    Prologue


    The year is 2020, we have seen the birth and death of the pager, the traditional call-only cell phone, and the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers series over the span of the last few decades. Amidst all the turmoil that is humanity, a beacon of unbridled effeminate energy with an endless cocklust had been scheming on ways how to meet men to the point where if it were a narrative it would look like the following:

    Quote Originally Posted by Men
    We're gonna cum in you, you lil bitch.
    Quote Originally Posted by (Gay) Kill Spree
    You better mean that in plural and better fill both holes
    Quote Originally Posted by Men
    ...what?
    Quote Originally Posted by (Gay) Kill Spree
    omg sorry please just cum in me
    For reasons unknown, Kill Spree had a deathly fear of being addressed as "sir": He therefore spent his formative years zealously adopting a valley girl accentuation to his voice as well as an exercise regimen to avoid muscle while forming what is known as "birthing hips" along with a healthy amount of kegel exercises. As such, when he was introduced to a group of his age cohorts by public education he could not have been more thrilled when he was immediately called a faggot. He found that by sexually pleasuring older boys who were curious about blowjobs he would slightly less severe beatings from his classmates.

    As time went on, nearly the entire male student body shared a deep dark secret that was kept unspoken: their first orgasm was in Kill Spree's mouth or pussy (depending on whether or not a can of Miller Lite was involved first), and be found in particular he was aroused by guys who could rap.

    "Wrap" Battles


    During this period in his life, Kill Spree had created a game with his male suitors to see who was able to pleasure him using the least amount of condoms (a condition caused by frequent stretching of the anus). As at this point the slang term for putting on a condom was "wrapping your jimmy", these contests were referred to as "wrap battles". These battles always ended up in the double digits per competitor and would result in the loser retrieving the excess from Spree's cavity (a task that was sometimes the highlight for Spree).

    This form of recreation had Spree wanting to make it an official pastime for other homos to enjoy and set out to the internet to spread word. However, due to a lack of education caused by most of his classes having been skipped he typed in "rapbattles" instead of "wrap battles" and ended up on a forum that involved various forms of the written word.

    Desecration


    For a period of time, Rapbattles was known for allowing folks from various walks of life be able to pretend to be real hip-hop rappers regardless of how limp their wrists may be. Many people enjoyed it and as such sought to compete in word-offs against each other judged by a jury of their peers. At first things were innocent enough as people satirically called each other things like "gay bitch", "faggot" , and "penis kisser" but then things took a sharp turn as the recipients of these insults began wondering what that lifestyle was all about. Thankfully, these curiosities were kept secret mostly save for the occasional flirt.

    This all changed in the month of February in the year 2014 when Kill Spree decided he wanted to score some hard meatings on a site devoted to rap where people could be called a faggot freely. On the registration screen he saw there was an option to choose your own user name where he sat thinking:

    Quote Originally Posted by Gay Kill Spree
    Oh em hmmmm... I need a name. I wonder what it would feel like to be like a little like a boy but not one who would do macho stuff like drink a beer or not get a pedicure on the weekend... those thugs like to talk about killing and murder so I should put that in my name.

    Oh my gawd! I killed way more humans, BILLIONS of spermies died in my pussy, it was a killing spree...

    THATS IT! I'm Killing Spree hehehehehehehe
    From there he quickly discovered that bars are for stars but giving men sexual pleasure was the easier way to win "votes" and rose (yes, while bent over or on all fours or on his back) through various channels, in the process killing the activity on the site (therefore validating his (gay) username "Killing Spree"). However, during this time there was a major impediment to his plan of pleasuring every male on the site:

    The Great Father

    The Straight Strikes Back


    The bane of Spree's butthorny nature was The Great Father, whose scathing bars and relentless delivery had led to many emotional meltdowns. Time and time again, Killing Spree used every unmasculine technique in his blouse sleeve to try and outwit The Great Father which included teaming with various gay men in a multi-pronged attack; all attempts ended in inevitable failure which led to a wine cooler and cocaine fueled cock romp where Kill Spree often ended up looking like a vanilla Dunkaroo cookie afterwards (you know, vanilla frosting AND the rainbow sprinkles. It was a deliberate setup there). No matter what happened he could never find peace from the scathing torment of that mean man The Great Father... that is until one day he just vanished.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gay Kill Spree
    Oh, sweet sex with a man! The Great Father is no longer tormenting me!
    During this time he used his ability to tie a shoestring into 8 different types of knots using only his asspussy to bribe his way into site administration (in the process further killing the site). He was giddy, gleeful and often glazed... however, another threat to his estrogen emerged...

    Spartacus


    Spartacus took to pulverizing (gay) Kill Spree's emotional ovaries and Spree often wept. However, things suddenly went from bad to worse when his worst rapbattles nightmare resurfaced in the form of

    ...

    Dr. Stu

    Epilogue


    Here we stand (and there (gay) Kill Spree is bent over) with (gay) Kill Spree engaging in EHT (Extremely Homosexual Tactics) in his losing battle where he is getting made into a woman without actually getting to enjoy the cock receiving part of it.

    He weeps softly.




    PS- @Kill Spree , make that 31 notifications you pissy little dick pleaser.
    My username is testament to my utter destruction of (gay) Kill Spree

  2. #2

    Re: The Ballad of (gay) Kill Spree

    Yo @Alphabet , come tell GAY Killing Spree why it's not ok to call his lil' willie a "clitoris"
    My username is testament to my utter destruction of (gay) Kill Spree

  3. #3

    Re: The Ballad of (gay) Kill Spree

    I bet (gay) Kill Spree had to get an “emergency pedicure”.
    My username is testament to my utter destruction of (gay) Kill Spree

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Newcastle
    Age
    37
    Posts
    9,029
    Battle Record
    4-7

    Re: The Ballad of (gay) Kill Spree

    Well written, good structure and I can't find a fault OTHER than the author has significantly nerf'd the level of @Kill Spree 's homosexuality by 2 magnitudes and didn't mention 'the great STD scavenger hunt' that kill spree won in 2019.

  5. #5

    Re: The Ballad of (gay) Kill Spree

    Oh, he plenty publicized how he dominated the Suck That Dick scavenger hunt.

    The turmoil from the fallout made me have to come back here.

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Age
    37
    Posts
    2,163
    Battle Record
    11-9

    Re: The Ballad of (gay) Kill Spree

    Oh yeah, I remember that!

    Had to collect a disease transmitted homosexually from someone and Mark it on the list.

    It was the most popular singular event in the history of rap battles.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I STILL get sores every few months.

  7. #7

    Re: The Ballad of (gay) Kill Spree

    Yet @Kill Spree once took an entire Xbox 360 up the anus and his response was to giggle, plug it in and play dance dance revolution.
    My username is testament to my utter destruction of (gay) Kill Spree

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