A Disciple's Thread

[A Disciple]

Nah nobody gonna tell me who my god is and I won’t respect some god abusing my body and disrespecting me…

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Everybody please get off me and my body and leave me alone… it just reminds me of a bunch of creepers touching and stalking me and I don’t like it

[A Disciple]

And everything I typed just got lost… cause I moved my hand, hit the wrong arrows and came back and it was gone… like nobody gonna sit here and get my permission to force me to share my body with them. But how do you kill spirits and ghosts? N said you just tell them to leave… must be nice!!!! I moved 3x, I tried websites that had advice how to protect yourself and body, I jumped over a bottom, prayed, even tried sending it back 3x like the witch store said to (cause I’m not and never was a witch and don’t like the religion AT ALL) and here we are and here I am still getting my fucking ass kicked, disrespected, kissing and waving my hands like they don’t believe me I’ll die before I ever side with or let them.

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What does this have ANYTHING to do with writing to even begin with? Someone’s fucking with my bank accounts again, my songs on iTunes, FUCKING WITH MY HEAD EVERY FUCKING DAY AND NIGHT!!!!!

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I’m very sorry but I can’t stand that religion and don’t understand why mine doesn’t protect me from the constant abuse these past 8 years…. But really 20 if you think about it

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And what makes you think that hearing voices is the best option for somebody who is already mentally ill?

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I really don’t know why they swear they so special or more important than my own family… I don’t know why they believe my life was put on this earth to be their cause either. We don’t get along and never will again! … and like

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Just trying to get help and make them stop terrorizing me… and then all the facts they deleted when they deleted my entire IG too.

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You protect and serve who? Rapists and murderers or victims for real…

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DONE speaking… I’ve had a really fucked up day again! The bank keeps rejecting my deposit…

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For the thousandth time… I don’t want to share my body, clap or kiss my hands, rub my leg, feel like enemies, hear please forgive me when I go to pray and EVERYTHING ELSE THEY TORTURE ME ON TOP OF THAT EVERY DAY

[A Disciple]

My mom just cracked me up and made me feel better - I was venting to her about being a 43 year old child and said the last thing I want is a fucking man! She laughed and said you want to be a nun and I told her I was gonna do that but wanted a family instead and we just both fell out laughing!

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I have to find a job… they refuse to give me dissability I don’t know if it’s for the 5th or 8th time now but I have to keep it under $300 a week or I’ll lose my state insurance and who the fuck wanna make $300 a week? I busted my ass thru college for NOTHING

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I’m trying to coherently piece my life together or what’s going on and been going on with all the stalking and sleep walking and abuse and secrets and a tractor being next to me when I got raped lured down in the pretense of a hair show and just the level of disrespect and total reckless disregard for someone who was innocent to fucking begin with. Cause that’s where it is right there… where my entire being came tumbling down to a beyond repair

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I know and I know and I’m trying… but like

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What do I write it down in a notebook so I can remember what’s important to read every day cause with 20 things constantly coming at me and fucking with me at once on a repeat circle

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And on a regular basis too…

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The bank keeps rejecting my check so I can’t even go out and get fucked up and zone now either…

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It really is cruel and unusual torture like I haven’t already been thru enough

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As my throat just gurgled… you may have my body somehow but you will never be my god

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I’m not respecting anybody or anything that disrespects me for no reason other than to bitch me or boss me around

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I love my mom so much… I love that she laughs and can laugh too sometimes

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They’re even trying to dictate and tell me what my own religion is… FOH

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You can’t change my religion either - especially on top of taking my free will and sleepwalking me too. I mean how that even happen? They have this one lying saying it was then or that one lying like remember when

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Or even better… putting it all and trying to say it was my own pire that did it and does it

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Well good thing I know if that was true he’d already be dust because we are held to a higher standard than most. I stole a soda while running with my head burning off and throat closing and got stuck by a car or lightening not sure which and it got knocked out my hands before I could even take a sip. I guess my God might have a point to prove and that’s just facts.

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What did they pass me down their family like I’m some fucking nick nack?

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Nah I didn’t know or realize or remember at all until I got my 10 seconds in life flashes and finally lots clicked… I just didn’t realizing I’d walk out that door in the worst hell you can ever imagine - like I already wasn’t put thru enough. And what makes me mad is why the secret? Why nobody ever told me or will tell me what the fuck is even going on?

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Nah for real! Now I know why one old friend was always saying I blame my other old friend for everything… how you blame somebody when you didn’t even know and now that I do can’t get facts and still don’t know - but those 10 seconds of seeing my self sleepwalked under her and then the still. Like bitch… do you think you some god or something? You really think you can just walk around doing this, playing that, making all this shit legal for you somehow and literally killing people too… like

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My ex R always saying it’s my world they just in it… oh I get it now but nah sorry you confused you had the wrong bitch

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When was it ever my world?

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Now you think my life or cause gonna have something or anything to do with forgiving you now too?!??? Get the fuck over yourself for real…

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I’m done… and now I’m going to the liquor store… if you want me sober stop fucking with me, my electronics, my bank accounts, my body and my fucking head

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I’m sorry but I just don’t read or comprehend assumptions - never did

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You going to have to be direct cause I’m confused as all hell

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I don’t want to live in a whole new world… I want to live in mine with the exception of getting my az kicked anytime I come close to waking up or getting back to my families

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How do you get back your free will when someone and multiple people (actually anybody that wanted to) was sleep walking you? How does that happen to even begin and how do I make sure this can’t happen to my kids or kid if I have any?

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They can’t share my body or soul with me cause I worked too hard on it… it’s MINE

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They literally sleepwalk me… I don’t know if it’s hypnotism or what but… nobody gonna make me live some human blow up doll or toy for a bunch of fucking twisted freaks!!!! My apt in Norwalk not the same thing… what do they have against and why are they so against me getting back to my family and pire?

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I refuse!!! I fucking refuse to live my life forced to share my fucking body with assholes who force me to kiss my fucking hands and change or redesign me too! How many times do I have to say no? You can’t choose my religion or family for me either!!!! And I’m sorry but my life not gonna be about them bitches either!

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So I wasn’t crazy but now I am… thanks for that too though!!!

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I refuse to even address them bitches or their family… I don’t care I don’t want to know I just want them the fuck up off me and out of my life!!!! I never knew or even took an oath with them either. They just learned some Santa Ria and the first thing they do is tie a bitch down… FUCK YOU

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There is nothing to resolve or discuss - it’s just go away and leave me the fuck alone for real

[A Disciple]

Well… 20 minutes went backwards… kissing my hands getting mad when I look in the mirror and slam it… feeling like my enemies and like bugs about to come out my eyes… went to liquor store to say watermelon and said 2 waterbury Amsterdam’s… and like seeing wolf everywhere…

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Someone making my nostril hurt but me and MY god already know when I chill

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I’m just going to gamble and air out all fucked up “until these things that took over my body” leave again and I am like fuck you too wu right now

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Ramble*

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Just an example of the disrespect to my body, my family, my religion -and flesh

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I don’t want anything to do with Kevin either… I’m sorry if them bitches stay trying to sell me but for real… there isn’t anything or forgiveness or we cool either. Like almost anybody that held shit from me and disrespect or make me sick… like dawg… we not cool now either… you make me literally sick and weak and don’t care either

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You’re selfish… I hate selfish people

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My circle SO SMALL as a result now and is pretty much gonna stay that way… and it’s not that I can’t understand or forgive it’s just that it’s not even their business if I do and that doesn’t mean I go back for more or let you all do it again

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Waving my hands, kissing my hands, rubbing my leg hissing me… like yo for real - you not changing my mind or bitching me or gonna force this of me and my life now either

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They disrespecting me and my flesh and my body and breathing funny or like them and it feels so gross but they swear that eventually I’ll say ok and nah for real Lotd - I don’t deserve that now too and will die before I let them. My and MY ghosts and spirit circle - don’t usually have a problem - but ever since I woke up 8 years ago on the shot me and my god had to tell me? I REFUSE TO SHARE MY BODY WITH ANY ENTITY THAT SWEARS ITS THEIRS MORE THAN MINE

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They keep rubbing my fingers like money too… what money? Everyone know I ain’t living like this for money either. I mean what money for real it’s been 8 years and I never been so poor in my entire fucking life

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But I don’t want to and in fact refuse to live like this… you ain’t training shit… I’m not going to calm down… I’m not going to say it’s ok… like NEVER!!! So what’s the fucking problem?

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Just cause them bitches stole my free will and sold me around doesn’t mean my life has to be about them

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Omfg more violin and classical music… wtf is wrong with you, you shriveled up freak?

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Do you really believe that I’m a be with someone like you? Do you really think we are compatible on ANY level? Do you think I’m a be miserable and sacrifice my life and happiness for YOU?!??!? LMMFAO … bitch I’ll kill your

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Bitch I’ll kill you*

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Why my heart get upset about that? Who my heart cause I know it’s not you and I would forsake even my own god if it was

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Now I have to hear these bitches reading every word like they’ll ever be on my side again?

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It’s real to a default “don’t you ever try to take hold of my soul… a military soldier since 7 years old” … I can actually kinda relate to that

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I don’t want to spirit share in that way… EVERYBODY get the fuck up OFF my body

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They really got my body some how clucking my nose or clicking and shit… whto and how cause I already have a god

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Real torture live… can you ever think of some shjt so disgusting and sacriligist and sick

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Which nightmare you want?

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I peeped it too… when I was looking at them pink and chocolate diramonds but just cause you consider and weigh it out don’t mean I’m a switch up and any bitch you want type bitch… cause believe me that’s what hurt most

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I’m not even trying to perform and I resent feeling like I am

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YO… like why do they swear it’s just all good and they gonna get their way of my body and it’s cool?

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I SWEAR TO GOD ITS NOT

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I’ve always been against diamonds but believed in taking care of the ones that ARE here… my ring is diamond

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But this switch up and bitch you want? Like yoooo… I’m still fucking in here

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Any bitch you want*

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They won’t stop trying to change me though

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Nah… this like waving my hand and bossing me around. I deserve peace and comfort in my own fucking body and not this. They are disrespecting my fucking body!!!!!

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I specifically took off donor and somehow donor still here… I will fucking LACE YOU if you EVER get my fucking body

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Idc who you think you are but I’m not respecting ANYBODY who disrespects me

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Unless you held dead bodies in your arms you ain’t telling me a mother ducking thing

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Nah I’m not gonna be queen of your mental ward either

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Yo… you STAY fucking up my instincts pretending to be God

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The disrespecting breaths and heaves to my body - it’s so gross

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They didn’t just kick my ass… I’m fucking SO gone

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It feels like they acting like this some fight for my life and I’m a love it - nah

[A Disciple]

Nah I don’t want it… not like this… you not special or my boss either

[A Disciple]

LOL!!!!!

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�� Proof there is life after death if you need a reason and like you asked about my last breath… winter, summer, spring, or fall in any season… I’d hold that breath for your darkest hour like you were there for me too, teaching me about that flower… and how it grew. The one in concrete and the dark the one you can find in any park… I’d save my last breath and give it all back to you and scream get back up at you too cause that’s just how you taught me too. It makes me even more lethal now you know… cause not one effing fear left when it’s my time to go. You my father and so many fiends I’ve lost along the way… In after and in every hour I would pray… I’m just sad it’s too late but even when you never left my side I’m most grateful that insanity can wait and I had an Angel like you by my side the entire ride �� I love you Pac!

[A Disciple]

Alright a couple of things… they say I’m conceited? Yeah right you see the professionals? I’ve been bitched so low that I’m still walking with my head down. My phone wallpaper? I don’t have kids… I don’t have a man… and in case I lose my phone they know who!

[A Disciple]

Acting stupid and gonna cry… nobody really care though and to be so like desperate or pathetic isn’t a good look or one I want either



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Being so old at that too… even though I like the new shit I’m coming from the old… too late? Prolly

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Do you know how hard and disrespectful toungues is? I don’t want them no more pac

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To come from no nun to not trusting god anymore? The worst

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Pac I promise… “rest in peace to the pac” why? And maybe cause it’s better and more respectful than this

[A Disciple]

Valhalla
YouTube Video:
Click here to view on youtube

You totally have to listen to the first verses of the audio to understand the meaning… when the metal starts, start reading…. Maybe if you actually follow my direction you would understand my work

Soldiers, that is what we are – who cares if they say we live our lives behind bars
Something unattainable can be obtained, for our seeds to be maintained
We give our lives too, and don’t judge a name of a man you never met
And in your heart, you feel the beat, a reminder to never forget
The double edged sword of master trickery – who can be him… You, me, or he?
To those who have fallen we tip our bottles in homage, a last piece of bread,
For an offering, a reminder on their grave stones instead.
We recognize eyes to distinguish our alibis
And we will tell lies if it confuse them with the truth
Tattooed and scarred - reminders of our troubled youth
We whisper in the whims of the night to each other
And no matter what - we stand brother to brother
We mastermind in dreams and send a glitter through the eye
While those un-afflicted sit back and judge us on why
Chained to a destiny with no way out but death
Loyalty sealed with confirmation of last breath
Adrenaline that runs so deep, sometimes for 24 hours
With appetites for destruction that slowly devours
In us, we never cower… true to thy selves we behold the ultimate power
The Vikings, they call it Valhalla, at the table where the Judaists break challah
It is a place where we are freed from persecution of who we are to be
Rewarded, cause in ourselves we stayed true… the ultimate test of loyalty.

[A Disciple]

I said that cause I thought it could’ve been you but then I remember that one line and realized it wasn’t you and you didn’t have a clue

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@Candy where you at?

[Candy]

im around

[A Disciple]

Yay!!! You hardly say much @Candy … do you have any advice for me on pulling myself together again?

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@Candy do you want to write again? Pick a topic cause your pieces were really helping me to understand some things too

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“Bullets to my nuts only made my balls fatter” … did you all peep that part? You all think pac is still alive? … I hope so!

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Idc what we are it still doesn’t make it ok for them to abuse and terrorize and shoot and defile and degrade and circle

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No offense guys but you can delete all that but not stop them from terrorizing and abusing me?

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Never mind… my phone is possessed I swear… and sometimes I can’t tell the difference between them or god! And like…

[Candy]

i am a gemini

[A Disciple]

LoL one of my exes was too… I’m a Taurus

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@Candy you with the one liners lately… I’m gonna try to sleep… do you have an online play list you can send me to sleep? Though maybe not… I remember someone leaving opera music on my voicemail once and I was confused like I was retarded all day

[Candy]