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Thread: Heaven

  1. #1
    Deceit
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    Heaven

    As I walk towards thee, by the ocean, bathed in the sun's death,
    Even as far as we are I somehow feel your breath,
    It intoxicates me as I tase thy scent,
    And we draw to a halt, meeting at our last step.

    We fall to our knees, as if in prayer,
    I love thee so much, I am in total awe,
    I look into the depths of your eyes, see the oceans true layer,
    I see the sun as it falls below the Earth.

    In thine eyes I see my own reflection,
    The way thou see's me with that expression,
    We join hands and take our last breaths together
    In the waning light, the night sky, the sand of time, no longer existent,

    Only me, only you, and I hear innocent music,
    Distant and touching our love as if to fuse us,
    A word flashes through your eyes, not once I turned away, together
    The word embossed in our joint soul; Heaven...

  2. #2
    Deceit
    Guest
    Any comments? This was from a dream I had, I just wrote it as I remembered...
    Last edited by Deceit; August 13th, 2003 at 01:53 PM

  3. #3
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    Yo, I thought this wuz dope. If you got it from a dream....who's thoughts were they? Hmmm I loves this kind of stuff....not really a formed thought just a piece of an idea at best (or as much as you could remember hahahaha)

    I dig and I hope that what you saw....

    You saw.

    The third section (the whole thing) made reading this worth the time...

    In thine eyes I see my own reflection...you cant do that unless your eyes are on who you love and not worried about theirs on you...very very unselfish

    We join hands and take our last breath together....deep...very deep...

    Look forward to checking more of your pieces....I'ma go through the past threads...

    Good one

    Out

  4. #4
    Deceit
    Guest
    Thanks a lot, any more?

  5. #5
    I really loved that. Deep, meaningful, honest. It just seemed so real and clear to me, and it made me feel like I was there. As if I was visiting the dream.

    Great work. Two very enthusiastic thumbs up
    <img src="http://www.iownjoo.com/freeimghost/kawtic/poetic%20truth.jpg"></a>

  6. #6
    Deceit
    Guest
    Thanks, it seems my dream has touched more than me, and that seems to clear it, in a mentally developed (Insane) way!

    Any more comments? Might clear it completely...

  7. #7
    I finished the 2nd part of mine already, it was kinda inspired by this, so thanks for that.
    <img src="http://www.iownjoo.com/freeimghost/kawtic/poetic%20truth.jpg"></a>

  8. #8
    Deceit
    Guest
    No problem, i'll check it out...
    Any more feedback/idea's/comments?

  9. #9
    Certified Like A COW Varentao's Avatar
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    You do know that dreams are something that can help explore yourself, and the world around you, don't you?

    I'm sure you do, going by this piece. I can see links all through it. Or should i say, possible links.

    You depicted the imagery well. Kept it constant and with that certain essence.

    ...resp...
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.

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