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Thread: BEATEN by your WORDS

  1. #1
    HazY.B
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    BEATEN by your WORDS

    Beaten by your Words


    Sit n silence while I trace my image with my toes in the icy water
    i sit on the edge of the river n see my reflection distorted by ripples of hate
    i embrace myself at the thought of my past
    some of the words that hit me hard spun me in circles so fast
    Words of despair...syllables hitting my tear stricken face
    a handful of your words hit harder than a fistful of anger
    punched me harder than your hand to my face
    took my breathe faster than a death in the family
    erupted more tears ....
    i lay at your feet with my body battered
    i give myself to you
    id bleed for you i beg for you to forgive me
    im sorry for all i have done
    for ever making you mad
    for all i said
    i said i loved you n i meant it
    you took my dollars worth of love n spent it
    im down praying for the lord to forgive me for puttin anger in this man
    for the words that hurt worse than his hand
    uncontrollable sobbing....headaches throbbing...
    baby im sorry for all i said.....
    only way he wil; forgive me like the past is to relinquish myself to him in bed...
    between the sheets the threads evaporate all I've done all I've said
    many beatings later my body convulses and goes through a faze of hunger
    I can take the abuse no longer
    I starve myself of his essence
    I withdrawal and pack my things
    locked in boxes all the memories
    burned in flames of black.....
    when i look ....
    i feel the words roll from your tongue....travel through air ....hit the surface of my being and peel away the flesh
    I shudder
    I shake
    my self worth that was it?
    how could you take it?
    peel it from my layers n swallow it with your lust
    a test or trust?...
    im nothing without you i need to feed on your love
    all you do is love me
    make me yours
    a battered woman I kno nothing
    you gave me something
    scars over years that will never heal
    with you ...my fate....will eventually seal
    i need the hurt i feel the pain...distraught....my lord my savior i have been taught
    my father my son
    i kneel to you...
    have your way

  2. #2
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    wow...just wow...that piece had some feeling in it my nigga, nice drop, i especially liked the storyline, i guessed it was about a man beating his girlfriend, we are treat like shit in this world of inequality, not by all men, just a select few. Very nice poem, keep droppin.

    RESPECT
    Def Poets

  3. #3
    C_Drama
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    it was coo, you should publish and get paid for your lyrics,
    but it was good, room for improvement, but I felt it...

    keep doin em girl
    Last edited by Content; September 30th, 2003 at 04:37 PM

  4. #4
    Certified Vet Content's Avatar
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    ~great line~
    a handful of your words hit harder than a fistful of anger...

    this kinda mad me mad reading it hazy....

    made me think of a past relationship and say...scream

    'it serves you right bi*** I was good to you and
    you didnt realize it...its your mistake..deal with it!"

    all love aside....

    but this was really done well when it comes down to it
    and even though I hated it..I liked what you distributed....

    la paz
    myspace.com/tnetnoc
    myspace.com/understream

  5. #5
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    iight

    this piece reached inside me and gave my heart a hard squeeze, im sure of it. just reading it made me thing of all the terrible things that go on in the world that you never see, in ppls lifes that you would never know, or the thoughts some1 will think but never speak.

    also it shows us how blinding love can be. makeing us blame ourselfs for something that clearly was not our fault just because we didnt want to make some we love look bad, or find a reason to stop loving them.

    it had a mixture of messages all interlinked all bond together, not much more i can say about it

    ~Tera~
    DONT HATE
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  6. #6
    HazY.B
    Guest
    thank you Very much and by the way
    tera
    is my middle name lmao well one of em
    thanks for the replies i appreciate it so much

  7. #7
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    you welcome my girl! pleez reply to mine. it wud do good 2 return da favour! LOL.

    'battlefield losses'
    Def Poets

  8. #8
    DopeHead
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    Its so deep girl.. Its beautiful baby..I loved this girl and reading your poetry again and its got a nice rhyme scheme. and it makes me feel a certain way when i read it.. it was beautiful baby and it grabbed my attention real fast because it was so deep.. I loved this one angel..

  9. #9
    beyond dope.
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    Real Deep^^, u used some nice poetry in here gurl ,^^ peronal conceptz always are blazin , if they are well done and u did this more than than well

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  10. #10
    HazY.B
    Guest
    why thank you thugz

    that was a nice reply and im sure you thought of replying all by yourself and didnt have any persuassion?
    lol

  11. #11
    beyond dope.
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    Originally posted by HazY.B
    why thank you thugz

    that was a nice reply and im sure you thought of replying all by yourself and didnt have any persuassion?
    lol
    i never knew u dropped a poem srry

    So i thought i reply Xtra nice, ....

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  12. #12
    /:Ayura:\
    Guest
    Damn this some nice poetry, i agree with C-Drama and get yourself published, although the concept did tend to flow off after the start

    Sit n silence while I trace my image with my toes in the icy water
    i sit on the edge of the river n see my reflection distorted by ripples of hate
    i embrace myself at the thought of my past
    some of the words that hit me hard spun me in circles so fast
    Words of despair...syllables hitting my tear stricken face
    this was sick, and did open a new door to a new level of thinking. who said hip hop was violent?

  13. #13
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    yeah i agree this was a good piece, it was worth the read, it flowed together very well i thought, i was feeling the emotion as i read through it, your content was good, and overall it was a good piece, keep up the good work.

  14. #14
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    great poiece emotion was hot everything was there...the collab verse i will have you once i fix my comp..its not letting me send out messages to often it takes like 10 minutes for this to load an post a reply lol...fukin comp lol...but i'll have it to you soon sorry for the wait..peace
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  15. #15
    HazY.B
    Guest
    heading out on the highway looking for adventure
    or whatever comes our way
    yea gonna go and make it happen
    take the world in a lovinf faze fire up our engines
    and explode into space
    like a true natures child we were born born to be wild........

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