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Thread: give me feed back!!!

  1. #1

    give me feed back!!!

    I don’t even know whats worse.. just to think it or to do it
    With my head on the stone guillotine, an my mind in ruins..
    Only time has chosen.. the path of righteousness in life
    Facin my own moral mistakes fightin this just isn’t right..
    I see two white lights, but neither one leads to heaven
    So Im stressin beneath the streets that breed this weapon..
    The son of satan I am not, Im gods worst creation on earth
    With physical attributes that have disguised me from birth..
    Yet.. its impossible to run from my past, a retired killer
    Sitting behind the cold of steel, constantly growing iller..
    Memories are torture enough, with out the consolidation
    Of my whole life in this dark penitentiary, always waitin..
    Thinking in darkness frequently, to never be let out
    So dim in my complex, I cant even have a shadow of doubt..
    Dwelling on my own faults.. of course mistakes happen
    Its those purposeful ones, that end up placed in plastic..
    Erased from the face of some kid staged at the accident
    A body slayed an accident? Perhaps before I put an ax in it..
    The cell block I reside in.. my home away from home
    My final resting place… the outside world calls death row..

  2. #2
    Da_Legend
    Guest
    not bad....not bad at all

    I see two white lights, but neither one leads to heaven
    ^^ nice shit right there, luv that line
    So Im stressin beneath the streets that breed this weapon..

    The son of satan I am not, Im gods worst creation on earth
    ^^ nice again

    btw, im a fast reader so blagh,

    neways, i was really feeling this one, flow cud be a lil better but was on point
    vocab was there, good concept

    8/10

  3. #3
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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