Baby.. Blue.. Eyes..

[Freeman]

If you wana collab^

Get at me on AIM..

Check your PM's..

Up..

Pz..

[Born To Kill]

Very nice piece...

Are all girls named Hayley these days?

You don't secretly live in Houston and date my babysitter, do you?

Regardless...

Vocab was decent, could have been more complex...
But that might have fucked up the "sweetness" of your rhyme.

A couple of nice metas, no real wordplay, but it's not really needed when ya expressing love for ya girl. Why complicate what's already that way? (love, I mean).

I found that line funny about being together till "well above forty"...
Funny, cute, almost innocent, cuz kid, when ya 34, looking at your timeline, well...
It ain't all that far off for me and I'd kinda like my marriage to go a quite bit past "well above forty"...
Sometime's ya'll's young perspectives are really interesting to relate to/remember/compare to reality now.

Good work, man...
Your girl should like.

Peace

[Ace of Aces]

reminds me of eminem for sum reason. simple vocab yet excellent expressions. you said what you needed to show your love. im sure she'll like it. unless she herself is a veteran open mic dropper. lol. then she'll just beat it. but seriously, dope piece.

hit mines up wen you see it.

peace

[Prince Adem]

What do you know, a love song I would actually nominate for best open mic ive read this whole fortnight

Very well done... rhymes and vocab were simplistic, but there wasnt any real need here, if it was written to your girl.... you touched the topic and your own feelings very nicely... i like your creativity and imagery, like when you mentioned the bricks of trust

The structure was very good, as was the flow... I found it easy and pleasurable to read... i could see this as an audio track

All around, keep up the good work Freeman - your getting doper each drop.

[LM]

Nice read......

Good flow and the vocab was at the right level for this piece. Your becomin really good at this.

Just think you'd never done an OM til you collabed with me.

Good drop man...