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Last edited by Neruda II; January 17th, 2005 at 04:48 PM
Uppin this piece, can some one please reply to this, its not a long piece. thank you.
murder murder
no not a long piece at all, but it held quiet abit of emotion in these few lines really. sadness, fear, love, anger, and pleading, all in those lines. it seems to jump points of few, which you dont see to often in a piece this sort, but it worked well the way you threw it in. at first it almost seems like your a teacher of something, that your trying to get your message across to a classroom almost, but then the last four lines change that around alittle, and give you this feeling of wonder alomst, because your not quiet sure about the whole thing now. its a piece that takes some thinking, and that makes it good. you didnt drag out the theme, gave pretty good detail, but because it was so short of course there wasnt much. vocab was simple, and it flowed well.
T
ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE
loved the way that you contrast two different feelings but in the way they turn into just one (love and hate). Excellent piece, looks like you put a lot of effort into this man. Flow was good, rhyme scheme was o.k. but i liked the meaning the most...
Best line: daggers in my back destroy and disturb
throw the fucking slave's head to the curb!
i like this alot, like filed said it touched a few different emotions(sadness, fear, love, anger, and pleading) and the amazing part is you fed thriugh those emotions in sucha short time
...........fav part.......
daggers in my back destroy and disturb
throw the fucking slave's head to the curb!
no, please dont, plaese, i beg of you
I Loved you...
keep droppin
return tha favor.....i have a new one out..."for many years (parts 1,2 and 3)
....bless
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yo sleepy....go try out for Po'ethics its this sick poets only crew..u should try out min, i did.
Word
I tried out already, I was in. However, I felt the crew wasnt strong enough as a whole and that the crew was too filled with dickriders(no offense to anyone). So, thanks for the offer but i have my reasons and dont want to compromise myself by joining po'ethics.
murder murder
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