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Thread: J.f.k

  1. #1
    .:Fuck You:. Reeco's Avatar
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    J.f.k

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    JFK
    Written By Timeless

    Now that the snow lay quietly around the grave
    I remember and thank a man for the life he gave.
    And now that the stars seem to glisten in his name
    And the cold is not affected by the fire of the flame.

    Here on this monument stands a memory in time
    With a dream cut short by not just an earthly crime
    But a devil and a serpent that senselessly took a man
    His love and dedication ... with the squeeze of its evil hand.

    Now that so many years have passed and disappeared
    The skies that cloud that day have never wholly cleared.
    There still are secrets that may go to a grave
    So living or dead unknowns ... it might protect and save.

    Who could be so cruel and so blatantly inhumane
    To not truly search for the reason and the blame
    Or names of those who so sought the power of one
    That they would take the life of this nation's son?

    Those that had control, were they serving justice or denial
    As the accused came to an end ... dead without a trial.
    All other motives and suspicions were dismissed and waived
    Did the true guilty ones slip away to live a lie another place another day?

    I pray that the door to heaven be securely bolted down
    And that they may never see the glory of the Creator's crown.
    And too, all those that stand by and support the lie
    May live in hell forever and never ... never, never die.

    Though we may seek, the truth we may never find
    For those with the shovels have buried it deep in the sands of time.
    I just pray that your soul rest in peace ... on beyond that unforgettable day
    And that some day the truth may free the spirit of ...
    The usa's best hope and hero ... J..F..K.
    Last edited by Reeco; March 30th, 2004 at 12:24 PM
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    -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Doper Than You-


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  2. #2
    .:Fuck You:. Reeco's Avatar
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    upp...................please leave some feed back on this!!
    .

    -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Doper Than You-


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  3. #3
    .:Fuck You:. Reeco's Avatar
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    come on...........................................
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    -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Doper Than You-


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  4. #4
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Nov 2003
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    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins
    hmmm..this was different than most of your other pieces

    Vocab.....this was decent..could have been upped a little

    Emotion.... this was good...really felt it

    Imagry....not really present....use a lil more describing words to up this

    Concept...I dunno...what made you write about this? you weren't alive when it happened...what impacts did he have on you? Maybe could explained a bit

    Overall....this was decent...flow was on target until the last few bars....you displayed good emotion in this piece...it was kinda boring tho....not your best...but an overall good piece...Keep at it
    A few achievements here and there

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