Dem vs. Dev

[TheUnderRated]

No line limit
knock yourself out
Topic : cutting deep like steel
good luck and may your pen be your guide.

[Endeva.]

in... remeber the deadline is today sometime, no later...

[TheUnderRated]

jus gotta finish my workout then i'll get to it..

In.

[Endeva.]

The birds soar high in the sky, and yet they don’t try
Still I reach the same heights, but I don’t really fly
Why?… cos humans cant defy the laws of gravity
Mine’s chemical using thru abusing my oral cavity
Does it always end it travesty?… are these words real?
Read on and find out! did the drugs cut deep like steel
It started with a deal of hash, a munchie buzz for meals
Then in a flash I was mashed rolling up to tinted wheels
A guy reveals a bag of speed this replaces my weed
More intensely it feels, upping the game, upping my need
So I feed my habit, my body had it and it felt good
The second step on the ladder, then on the third i stood
“Could I have 2 sheets of acid”, I said to his face
Spaced out I went back, as my pulse and blood raced
Then ecstasy, coke, crack, until the dragon I chased
I embraced them all, fell off track, fuck! what a waste
With a taste for the high life, I stole without haste
Now im faced with no prospects, lying in the gutter
Cos the drugs have sliced thru me, like a knife thru butter!

[TheUnderRated]

I been drained from tribulations, I stand frail and tired...
wrong choices in situations lost all that i admired...
captain of the ship capitulations got me struggling to survive...
graspin for concepts to get a grip or find a reason I'm alive...
Alone with my thoughts where i always thought i wanted to be..
yet i'm haunted, vile nightmares block mental epiphanies...
Turned my back on every living soul that ever cared for me..
Yet they still stand folded hands with a loving prayer for me..
can't stand the face in the mirror so i walk on broken glass..
Cuts deep as Steel syphon the blood, not much longer will i last..
The Angels from above give me the air i need to breathe..
Iv's and tubes in my arms as my pupils suceed...
I awake in the hospital family awaiting my conciousness...
They set up psychiatric evaluations cause i need to be stoping this..
I doesn't hurt so much i'm a punk kid selfish and shit...
forcing my fam to spend fortunes when they can't afford it..
what cuts deepest to my are the actions i took en route..
How i was took weak to deal so i took the cowards way out..
and my family with their judging faces all smiling and supportive..
when i know in reality they really hate me deeply for it..

and that cuts deep.....

[Endeva.]

ok... upp [1]

[Tactixx]

Very nice topical guys.....But I think Im gonna go with Dev on this...
Dev:Your verse was structured nicely with a nice flow, transitions were there, and the verse unfurled nicely..Stayed on topic, with a creative twist on it....I liked how you progressed from a small time dealer, into an enterprising kingpin....Closer was ok...It ended the verse nicely....Good drop....Keep it up...

Demurgic:Your verse was also really good....Flow and structure were there...The emotion stood out well....Kinda off the topic in the beginning but the verse comes together in the end nicely, vocab was good...The only thing is I think Dev stayed on topic and had a more consistent verse, A good story that went well with the topic...
Demurgic...Still a dope verse, But my vote goes to Dev....Good job to both MC's...A nice read from both...

V-Dev...
Return the favor on one of my topical battles....Peace....

[Endeva.]

upp [2]

[Endeva.]

upp [3]
...DeM, next time you upp it before i run out..k

[Endeva.]

... ok c'mon someone vote
... i'll return the favour asap
... [4]

[TheUnderRated]

yep yep uppin this for votes will return the favor not the vote get it straight ain't no cheats in this bitch .... ne ways leave one pz.

[Mimesis.]

both of u dropped dopeness...but theres only one winner...

Dev
structure was good...flow was on target the whole time...the transitions helped maintain the flow, and made it easier to read...they were nice...metas were real nice....imagery was good...emotion was nice as well...u stayed on topic throughout the drop...and the twist at the end was good as well...overall, this was a real good verse mainly because of the great metas, transitions, and the twist...

DeMiurgiC
structure was also good...it flowed nicely as well....transisitions were ok...metas were good...imagery was nice....emotion was definetly present...at the start, it seemed like ur verse wasnt on the topic as much as it could have been, but as the verse progressed, it improved...it was really good...overall, this was also a real good verse, primarily because of the imagery and emotion...

Overall
De had more emotion...both of u had a good structure and flow...both had metas....Dev had better transistions...also better imagery, in my eyes...and i think Dev stayed on topic more then De...so basing off of that...Dev gets my vote for having the better overall verse...

VOTE - DEV

Please return the favor with the linkage in the siggage yo

[Sir Cedrych]

both very good pieces

i felt dem too kthis one

why,
well because dev i believed lacked from transition during his topics
the structures was very good
this was a topical that didnt really make me think(thatz just me)
dem was more imaginative for me
both had good styles
nice thouths to the topic
i just didnt like the topic
personifications was good from u both...i just felt dem took this

no hate

good shit yall.

[TheUnderRated]

Don't sleep uppin this for more votes i will return the favor on feedback left good or bad votes for me or against me its all good man just leave it pz.

[Endeva.]

[5]