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Thread: satans time is done

  1. #1

    satans time is done

    I craft a simple rhyme,yet produce an epic derge/
    Helps me gather ill feelings and tension-whitch then i purge/
    But even so,a quantity of negativity begins to emerge/
    And down on nees i question god-why cant life be simpler?/
    But no answers surface,the anger boils,i let loose my temper/
    Chocked,strangled-by rage,like a fish with no gill/
    I am banished,and segregated from the world of the tranquil/
    My dimming-life is cast into the greatest death of shadow,torture-travail/
    Influenced by Lucifer,but of to him i attempt not to hail/
    Praying to hear hevans bell,that majestic tintinabulation-a sound so profound/
    And untill i bear witness to this,i will remain hell-bound/
    Continueing with this outlook will land me jail or ground/
    With the inability to be in a state,prophylactic,health alwasys downed/
    With excess weight of sadness,being added pound by pound/
    Contracting the virus of indignation,as it seeps into every pore/
    Only medication is to succesfully digest god's lore/
    And grab the hilt of the holly sword,and settle the score/
    Rebel aginst the advesary with rage,even ive not seen before/
    And so,then reclaim where i had ounce held my feet/
    its my solemn promise,that by the hand of satan i will not see defeat/
    for i shall greet god in the morn,a new rise of the sun/
    Learn to turn shadow,evade the darkness and shun/
    I have placed my hand on the bible,and vow satans time is done/
    Last edited by DALC; July 5th, 2004 at 02:32 PM

  2. #2

  3. #3
    yo yo yo
    please give feedback

  4. #4
    G-Money
    Guest
    damn is u a preacher?? i felt like i was at church listen to a pastor preach bullshit c'mon on now do u think people really wanna hear an mc rap about that shit....no!!
    personally it was wack but who am i if i dont know wat the fuck ur talkin about......
    oh yeah u aint the future of shit bitch ur jus damned!!!

  5. #5
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    why are you linking certain words with a dash (-)... those arent even multis and if they were no one needs them pointed out... also drop the slash at the end of a line.... jus write... also your transitions need work on.. most of them were non-existant.... some content was ok... but as a whole you didnt bring it together.... not too good my friend... work on it
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  6. #6
    first of all this is kinda old.
    and g-money your gay.you just joined.and your diss to sdizzle sucked.not everyone raps about bitches,blunts,money and shit so please go do another diss to sdizzle and leave me alone.

  7. #7
    wasnt feelin this very much, kinda played topic, u had good vocabulary, flow was aight


    hot lines

    And untill i bear witness to this,i will remain hell-bound/
    Continueing with this outlook will land me jail or ground/

  8. #8
    Hoodless
    Guest
    wtf is you peeps goth or against god or what. i think this is pretty tight that an mc finally put all tha shit aside and mentioned a god in his verse, and in a good way. fuck this is pretty good. im not a christian and im not religious but i do beleive in god and have tons of respect for him and tha peeps who rep him.

    Amen.

  9. #9
    Hoodless
    Guest
    Lots of props to xtreme. it might not mean very much from a newbie but least ya know someone respects ya. and man i don't respect many peeps outside of my crew.

  10. #10
    look.thanks,this is far from the skill i put into work now,but i know rap is far from just pussy and pot and shit like that.i rap about a variety of things.ill try to post something on some of you guys work in the morning,plus id like if you would check some of my new shit out too

  11. #11
    G-Money
    Guest
    im gay watever bitch i aint trippin u dont know shit u jus tryin to get reconition for talkin about god u aint kanye west faget so dont try n bite his shit. im jus givin u my opinion dont get butt hurt u fuckin pussy i'll eat u up in a battle so dont talk until u shut me up faget!!

  12. #12
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    22,245
    Battle Record
    12-1
    I don't think this was as bad as everyone else. Work on the flow a little. I agree that you should loose the dashes. The topic has been done to death. This still isn't wack. Its ok, but I've seen you come alot better. Keep writing, homie.

    My Open Mic:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=135630

    -W1
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  13. #13
    YOUR FUCKIN ACUSING ME OF BITING LINES????????????
    I DONT FUCKING BATTLE,I WRITE
    your a little nerdy bitch setting with cookies and candy typing empty words .everything was served to you on a fucking platter.your parents had a nice marrige,everything was delivered to you.im different.ive went through a life threatening dicease,countless bullies,fights,and i managed to maintain my faith in god.i have a right to express my love for the father in my writing.so you can take your maybe one or two pages of garbage and shove them up your ass.

  14. #14
    by the way,ive never heard kayne west in my life.

  15. #15
    Hoodless
    Guest
    yo put ya lines where yo fuckin mouth is g-money. see what kinda mc yo really r

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