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Due.. I know you won't noshow, neither will I. So just take your time. Hopefully I'll get it up tonight, but may be tomorrow night. I'm going to work soon.
Topic: "Tearing at the Seems"
checkin.. g/l.
DeMiurgiC
CAMROK
30 line max
Due.. I know you won't noshow, neither will I. So just take your time. Hopefully I'll get it up tonight, but may be tomorrow night. I'm going to work soon.
Topic: "Tearing at the Seems"
checkin.. g/l.
PandorasBox
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tearing at the seems ok checkin sorry i have some connection issues lately
INSANE JOKA LYRICIST
its cool, man. I'll drop soon...
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In an enclosed room, I'm tearing but seems an inescapable route
Incapable of fleeing by all means, suffocation rips at its root
Scared, I need space to embrace, but space is none, therefore..
my calmness breaks, body aches, as I sweat in heat at my pores
Darkness in this room, it overwhelms, succombs my body as a whole
as I look for cracks of light, to seap through, but its held at the walls
I sprawl angerly, like a wild animal pinned and trapped to a table
its worse, its the unknown, sight unseen, to reach my bodies barely able
Used to be a peaceful place, atleast I thought... used to be coushined
And I'm not mentally disabled, not a hospital, forget- insanity is not pushin
Actually I don't know anymore, cant remember, maybe it's just a dream..
A dream with no means of life and death- to live I'm tearing at the seems
As I wait... No a dream it's not, I lift my leg & pinch and I feel it
Must release myself from beneath, clostriphobic to my death, I won't deal it
Fucking walls of solid matter, I don't care I'll peel it, eat it, I'll escape..
Gouge holes steady with my teeth, & fingernails I'll scrape until its too late
Fuck, can anybody relate, this unexplainable day.. & no drugs to sedate
There's no point to continue, breath heavy, helpless... to my doom I wait...
Just at one moment, I feel awakened in this room, from a glance never seen
What is it.. but a beam of a substance, white & yellow seems, looks so clean
Peaks through and spreads apart, like a lunar eclipse- moon unblocks the sun
I reach for this light & air engulfs me at the sametime I see someone
I barely see them, but the space breaks wider - the start of something new?
A large hand appears, quite tight but not severe, this woman says "I love you"
Smiles all around, I'm enbraced with love, setting in this emotional place
A story of babies vision, tearing at the seems of life to start - at its base
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Fuck, forgot to Center it. It flows people, promise.
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hehhe you took my concept you son of a bitch ok now for something completely different........
A goddes in the flesh, my appetite grew with her presence....
Cleopatra reincarnate with aphroditie's romantic essence...
I would dream of supple kisses on her neck to feel her pulse...
and lick every inch of her perfect body until I acheived desired results...
All night long we would ly awake and speak of future plans...
held tightly to my chest I would caress soft hair with loving hands...
One day passion seized us both and I lived my fondest dream..
so enraptured with the moment I grabbed her skirt and tore the seams...
As each layer of torn cloth fell to the floor her beauty did multipy...
and tears of joy came to her eyes as i slipped a hand between her thighs..
Each sound aroused, as she arched her back in total pleasure...
she gently rubbed upon my member and asked permission to take a measure...
we both chuckled as she lowered her volupuos lips so soft....
at this time we finished the task of taking our clothes off....
Then I held her close and our bodies interwined as one...
fourty five sweaty minutes later our union of souls was done...
I fell asleep to sweet perfume my arms sore from my own weight..
soundly so content I slept, alone and cold I did then wake..
was she too good to be true for I never gazed upon her again...
All to prove she existed is a note....tied with scented hair ribbons..
It reads I wish to stay eternally in your arms but there is no way I can...
But I'll forever remember the day I made love to my dream man...
INSANE JOKA LYRICIST
pretty nce peices overall
but i seemed 2 like D's a bit more
he had better structure (i know C for got to center)
i liked how he graphically describd in his verse
flow wasn't on point, but it still was the better of the two
nothing bad to say about C's verse but D's was better
i can't vote yet but can u PLEAAAASE return the favor
it would be 2 bogus if u didnt
i can't up nemore or i'll be dq'd
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=141655
lol.. was a good topic, props to Lyric.
Nice verse Dem.
Will return favors, drop links.
uppin 1
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So, I really like how you took the topic, but I wasn’t down to read a lustful spit… lol.
Good verse, solid and smart. I liked it.
Camrok was different, and I felt like that verse did a lot more for me… better mental images and descriptions…
Both were solid, but I liked the 1st of the two…
v- cam
Heh, nice job.
CAMROK: Wow, nice peice. Vocab was on, and I liked the verse in general. You had some seriously good imagery. I liked how you put this together. I just thought you could've made your voice a little clearer. But good job. Keep elevatin'.
DeMiurgiC: Nice job here from you too, but I thought your take on it was slightly off. It was a vivid piece, with good imagery and vocab, but I didn't really get this feeling from the topic. Good job, though. Keep elevatin'.
Vote: CAMROK
Decent match here. Liked the topic, but wasnt sure if i liked how you guys went with it.
CAMROK - Basic stuff. You took a basic route with the topic. Didn't like it cuz there was nothing i didnt really expect, maybe try to throw in a creative twist the writer wouldn't suspect. Good emotion played throughout your piece though, and the flow was ok.
DeMiurgiC - Seemed a lil basic to me, but i liked how you showed the topic, took a different way i thought you would. Emotionally strong throughout the story you told, and a lil imagery also.
v/DeMiurgiC
Good job to both...
Po'Ethics - Est. 2004
alright this was a hot close battle for really loving both the wyas you attcked the topic
cam-i felt you had a nice solid verse feeling the imegery and feeling the flow you had on this liking the ryhmescheme and vocab used you had a couple dope quotables i thing thi swas a well thought out verse
DeMiurgiC-you also had a pretty nice verse i was liking the way you approched the topic and had a nice verse i felt it was a bit off at a couple of parts but that was it you had nice imegery to and that is need in battles
vote.....cam
felt he had an overal better verse
no hat good job both
be kind vote mine
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=141668
You both took great to the topic. Two completely different interpretations of the topic but both good non the less.
Camrok, some of you lines ran on too long. Usually it doesn't bother me but it went on too long and it kinda messed up the flow in some parts but very little. Even though some parts weren't structured well, it was incredibly smooth at some parts. The mutlies were well used in your verse. It added to the technical aspects. Emotion was there and strong. Very well done. Imagery was oh so strong. I could picture everything you were saying in my mind. Everything was great except for the structure.
De, you took a different route on the topic. You did have a good story but it wasn't as emotional as cam's. Your structure was definetely better than camroks. The lines were nice and even with good flow. Vocabulary was used well to create a good atmoshere and tone. I don't know, it was good but I felt that camroks was better. Good job on this though.
I'll give it a second read just to make sure....
yeah, I have to say camrok. Good job Cam.
Vote-camrok.
murder murder
Please return the favor at this battle.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=141352
murder murder
good shit uppin for close so i can get my one with this man done ^ ty pz....
INSANE JOKA LYRICIST
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