MT Record's Present:Dirty Red, QUICK Freestyle Exclusive!

[Jay Mel]

When i come on ya block, wit two guns and a glock nigga, ya may be shot , i aint on that shit like they did pac. So i make it personal, put you bitches in a herse and all. Just Reverse it all, Curse Ya All. Nigga , you messin wit, desire even though my boilin wit desire,i aint no lier but all i wish i could do is get higher and do better things.....We over here buyin Necklaces and Diamond Rings.Just hear the bitches Sing my name, Just like Game is better than sane.If ya feel what im sayin, Ill have ya bitches prayin for ya life, but i just want it all to go betta, if ya hear henrieta



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...96#post1781596

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...91#post1781591

[~{ExClusive}~]

you need to leave that was hella weak (no hate)

[NovA - N.E.T]

Man hella weak s an understatement da ws jus plain poor.really elevate man da jus ad no feelng or propa rhyming structur. Really think abar ya next piece.
Ye no hate jus take in da feedbak cuz its tru.
NovA

[Go Go Power Rangers]

wut up yall

[NovA - N.E.T]

no freepostin bitch

[Jimi]

Kreation dont fuckin freepost. Man your ryme was wack. I didn't see your flow. If your going to use commas use them correctly. Just like game is better than sane??? Wierd. Dude go read some real lines in Elite Forums. Peace.

[Ceaseless]

well I gotta say that this aint nuttin special
flow is blah
content is played
I read better stuff

no hate

[Johnny 6-feet]

i would say the worst thing in this piece was the title, stating this "mt record presents" this "exclusive" was weird seeing as this is a keystyle on a webpage. the second worst thing on this page was the lack of constructive feedback you've gotten, but i can fix that.

this was lyrically elementary, it was a few simplistic lines (with no spacing: which should have) about guns and girls. it was unoriginal and badly written. my advice would be to first pick a concept you can relate to or have experienced and then write about it, maybe tell a story. the next test would be to use more sophisticated vocab and add multis to improve the flow. try and paint a picture with your words rather than sticking with the same shit a 1,000 new-cee's before you have done.

keep posting and keep elavating.

[Illus']

Work On Quality
Substance,...
Try to think of a good
topic that is worth reading.
Not who you shot etc.
You had flow and nice structure
was there in away but that
isn't anything to brag on...

elevate...


peace

[versatility]

that was kinda weak...but since u put in effort..i'll give u a

D..but u still didn't pass