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Thread: ~~I Shot You Down~~ this piece goes to Young Buck's "Bang Bang" beat.

  1. February 9th, 2005, 04:13 PM #1
    sILLable
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    ~~I Shot You Down~~ this piece goes to Young Buck's "Bang Bang" beat.

    Tha weed we used to smoke.....and dope we used to cope......dont make up for a heart broke.....some times wanna start choke...pause.....give u a dark throat//

    leavin bruises....u have no uses.....tha noose will loosen....when ever he chooses.....sometimes refer to me in 3rd person to myself in first to see who looses.....2nd persons clueless//

    female i know, given looks through all tha fine snow.....let my mind blow...time to rhyme slow.....and pine dro......let tha lines glow....i see tha devious ways, you had and things u did in previous days.....inhale my fine lyrics to aleviate age//


    i was hopin we would be ageless......forever like sages......im trapped, your trapped, were in cages......no more goin through phases.....spittin phrases, dipped in pages.......cant stand to see you strip on stages//

    even though i let tha seasons go......ladies know how much treazon grows......eyes might glow when breathin dro......i miss that thievin hoe.....leavin slow....early in the morning dont even leave a note//

    past with all tha sorrow.......if i feel like i might call you tomorrow......no money that u can borrow.....just juices u can swallow....your still useless and still hollow......for some reason my heart still follows//

    no more waitin by tha phone.....debatin to by a chrome.....makin my statement and its on.......hatin tha fake ones just like a clone......no more breakin cause now im prone//

    especially to attacks......no crackin my back....no rubbin it either, sit back and relax......while i just spit facts.......twist sacks and then rip tracks......hopefully one day i can flip stacks//

    this one lady, i speak of always stayed shady.......only intentions did i mention is too always wanna play me........no luck lately.......so what i missed my baby.......when she was loving she was a giver.......thats why we changed and i ended up back with her.


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  2. February 9th, 2005, 08:06 PM #2
    Relic_Writes
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    nice shit dog....Good "structure" and all that shit..of course i know who ya talkin bout, and prob makes the prespective better in my mind... ill shit dog peace
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  3. February 9th, 2005, 08:07 PM #3
    Rodge
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    i thought the structure made the flow choppy and kinda fucked up your verse...rhyme was good...with some multis too, but the verse was kinda slow.
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  4. February 9th, 2005, 08:28 PM #4
    CrazyCarl
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    The story was good, you stuck to it mostly. The flow seemed kinda off the way you arranged your lines. You went into detail, which was good. Could have used some more wordplay to help convey your message.
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168531
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  5. February 9th, 2005, 10:22 PM #5
    sILLable
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    thanks for tha replies.~1~


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  6. February 10th, 2005, 02:31 AM #6
    Mistral
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    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.
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  7. February 10th, 2005, 03:09 AM #7
    sILLable
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    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...14#post2058614

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...31#post2046831

    there ya go kid.~1~


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  8. February 10th, 2005, 03:58 PM #8
    sILLable
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    uppin for replies.~1~


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  9. February 10th, 2005, 06:29 PM #9
    sILLable
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    still uppin,stop sleepin.


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  10. February 10th, 2005, 10:37 PM #10
    sILLable
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    i really want some replies on this


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  11. February 11th, 2005, 05:32 PM #11
    sILLable
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    once again~1~


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  12. February 12th, 2005, 07:37 AM #12
    sILLable
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    uppin again.


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  13. February 12th, 2005, 08:46 AM #13
    Jae Cyph
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    That was fucking horrible.

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  14. February 12th, 2005, 09:43 AM #14
    Luco El Loco
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    This piece DOESN'T go to the beat. Make it audio.
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  15. February 12th, 2005, 04:05 PM #15
    sILLable
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    constructive critiquing or nothing u fucking bitch fucks, just cause something doesnt sound write to you text heads doesnt means it isnt written write,its cause yall dont know what audio is,~1~


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