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Thread: Only In Hell.

  1. #1
    Banned Ike Ill.'s Avatar
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    Only In Hell. (SinAmen and Crucial collab.)

    Ryan:

    Sometimes I feel lonely, I don't have anyone to hold me,
    So I slowly ball my fist up in a corner and talk to my only homie,
    I tell him my life story, how noone knows me, he wont oppose me,
    Hes like a god, the one that chose me, I can feel him comin closely,
    He askes me "what are you up to?" "nothin' just sittin in the corner,"
    My knees up to my face and my head looking down, im a mourner,
    See I recently lost some close friends, even my girl friend,
    And just when I think it's the worlds end, 'He' hurles in:


    Illusion:

    Listen I could fix all your problems, c'mon man we all got em,
    Your girlfriend informed me to have you kill the man that shot em
    She's at the bottom ... Drowning herself in pills n sleepin around
    Her truth isnt sound, I doubt she even knows whats bringin her down..
    I think its you... Dawg she misses you and's completely dead inside...
    I wish you coulda saw the fire in her eyes when she heard that I died.
    Broke down n cried... Ryan dont except defeat, get outta ya seat
    Who'll avenge me... When ya girl gettin raped out on the street?
    Stand on your feet, I'll rest in peace when you complete this final job
    Grab the knife to send you off, you'll be my homie whatever the cost.


    Ryan:


    I love you man, your the only one who never noticed all my flaws,
    Suddenly im feellin lost, so ill avenge you, now I know my final cause,
    I take a second just to pause,for what i lost, I get up to settle the score,
    Grab the knife from out the drawer, for what he did.. he is no more,
    Smash out the door, I see him... *slash* I got him one in the stomach,
    ...I realised im in the same empty office, now im feelin sick im bout to vomit,
    Im gettin nautious, my mind is tryin to phase me, im bout to fade,
    I had nothin made, I think it was I who had lost this vengeful blade
    I think im crazy, eyesight going hazy... "Josh, I cant see!"
    Just then I look down, my homie's bloody.. The knifes in me.


    Josh (Illusion):

    Damn right you did deserved it, you left me on the curb kid!
    I trusted you as the closest... And ended with my throat slit.
    You know this! Kicked ya girl out & now she's selling herself?
    Dawg she loved you top shelf, you went n put her through hell!
    Now look who fell, Ryan's insane and his mind is playing games
    A sad woman's remainin pain let your knife shame a betrayed name.
    I never complained... Asked how, shouted or questioned one bit
    Your passin out, listen now... No one loved you more than I did...

    ...So I'll See You In Hell Kid...




    Story Composed By: SinAmen
    Ideas Composed By: Crucial
    Gathering: Both
    Ryan Played By: Crucial
    Illusion Played By: SinAmen

    END
    Last edited by -Twizted-; May 10th, 2005 at 08:27 PM

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Nice pece damn....Crucial and Syn Collab....Yu guys shoudl Make a Mix Tape...Id Buy it lol,,,N e way i rilly enjoyed reading this shit, and yu went into detail which was good, Both Crucial ad Synamen got 9.5/10

    Great job fellas...Hope to see more Open Mics from you 2

  3. #3

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    Yo i like this Sin.........now lets get some more feed................
    Stat

  4. #4
    2012
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    This was a pretty tight piece. It's a good twist on the story that you guys came up with, and you delievered it nicely. My favorite verses were the second and third one. Not to much flaw here, really, if anything. Personal, I enjoyed it.
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

  5. #5
    .........
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    ^ werd a very tight piece nothing I can realy say was bad about it also was liking the 2 and 3 those were the best good creativity all and all this was dope

    Smash out the door, I see him... *slash* I got him one in the stomach,
    ...I realised im in the same empty office, now im feelin sick im bout to vomit,
    ^ nice


    She's at the bottom ... Drowning herself in pills n sleepin around
    Her truth isnt sound, I doubt she even knows whats bringin her down..
    I think its you... Dawg she misses you and's completely dead inside...
    I wish you coulda saw the fire in her eyes when she heard that I died.
    ^ also nice shit

    peace
    I will slay thee
    <img src="
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    make you look STUPID
    <img src="http://www.geocities.com/xdigitalpencilx/lazer-numskull.gif">

  6. #6

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    Yo sin can you edit the title and put (feat. Crucial).......

    Uppin.............. and thanx for the feed bgizzy, Jay., and MC
    Stat

  7. #7
    Magnificent Flow
    Guest
    Damn Son This Piece Was Dope Yo, Good Vocabulary Good Strcture Man I Was Feeling This Piece here, Everything Was Perfect, This Got To Be One Of The Dopess i Saw In A Long Time....10/10

  8. #8
    chill
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    nice story.. it was deep and clever.. worded perfectly at the perfect times

    and most of the time flowed nice...

    good piece

  9. #9
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    whats good this was nice i like the conversation it was deep

  10. #10

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    Thanx for the feed..........
















    is it possible that this is good enough to get a nomination?....
    Stat

  11. #11
    Will Merk You
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    crucial nice flow.. strung a few interesting lines together, coulda maybe been a bitter sharper around the edges here in there but none the less entertaining, nice piece, and sinamen.. your ideas were a bit better, and the flow was kool.. but coulda perhaps been portrayed a little more vibrantly.. presence is half the battle.. maybe a few extra internals, but nice.. you did your thing pretty good.. this was a decent collab

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176138
    Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! ~{ExClusive}~'s Avatar
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    damn that shit was dopiness, the imagery and the creativty with having rolls like it was a play that was creatve the imagery was super good and the stucutre was very good the vocab was ight the flow was flawless and the emotion was very good from both of you, damn im glad to be in a crew with crucial word
    ..Battles..

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  13. #13
    Banned Ike Ill.'s Avatar
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    Humph. Up.

  14. #14

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    Upin.........................more feed back plz..........
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  15. #15
    Damn...A dope peice of work. I really liked this, had a good story and imagery, structure and flow was tight, multi's were sounding good. Vocab and wording was done well, the verse's came together nicely. Overally a good job.

    If you's are up for it, we should do a collab together or something. pz.

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