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Thread: Dedicate

  1. #1
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Dedicate

    This is dedicated. . .this is dedicated

    This is dedicated to the politics who put God in a box
    Called it religion in a vision of a universal hollocaust
    The cross; We still crucify the ones who will not be coaxed
    By mind control, the truth is out there as an elaborate hoax
    They ghostwrote the Bible, and then let humanity sign
    The small-printed noose just below the dotted line
    So I jotted in fine lettering in case this was my fate
    And now my bloodcells are in every coke and pepsi case
    Sell your soul to the hell portal just to have a voice
    And the next carcass the reaper harvests is your choice
    They tried to put a limit on poetry - no "live and let die"
    But my prose flows like the River Styx drip-dries
    Follow the Apollos that lit skies, torching the clouds
    Forcing outloud the silence of a disensitized crowd
    The mass of flesh; The past destests
    This is dedicated to the chosen few, fuck the rest
    Cause this is a rare tribute that doesn't read 'rest in peace'

    This is dedicated. . .
    Last edited by spokenoh; May 12th, 2005 at 08:19 PM
    can I kick it?

  2. #2
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    This was dope. I really liked the first half about the country becoming more secular. Or, at leats, that's what I got out of it. The whole first 1/3 is quotable. Nice shit, Spoken.
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  3. #3
    Resurrected From Da Dead
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    ^^ for real dope to the dopeness

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    Made By Me

  4. #4
    Mister. Andrew..'s Avatar
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    Dope. This was short but straight to the point which I really like. I agree with what wicked said. I liked the beginning the most on this peice. You opened it up very well. Keep at it fam.
    Back.

  5. #5
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    Some very nice lines in this, just wish you had carried that out until the end. Don't get me wrong this was nice, but just seems like you either ran out of steam or time in the end. I've seen this type of thing from you before, well we all do it. Great drop, like the others mentioned some of those lines were dope as fuck, but for a short drop this was great. Now if evey line had the impact as those few, wow...

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  6. #6
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Thanks. I didn't run out of steam, just put more emotion into it.
    can I kick it?

  7. #7
    Po'Ethics
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    This was a very good piece... The metaphor and sheer amount of creativity was excellent. Wicked's right, a large part of this is quotable. I enjoyed reading it, it was of a decent length, with excellent content. You wrote consistantly and had valid and interesting points expressed through very creative methods and devices. The underlying complexity in this was very good...

    There is little for me to criticise... Nice piece...

    If you could check out "Left to Die" in my sig I'd appreciate it.

    Peace
    Po'Ethics Lives

  8. #8
    Banned Chronic Cancer's Avatar
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    Straight fuckin dope mayne.....keep postin shit like this......i cant say anything else just fukin dope!!!!!

  9. #9
    microcosm spokenoh's Avatar
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    Because you didn't read it.
    can I kick it?

  10. #10
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    nice short one here
    not read much of your stuff recently..but you continually improve
    using your vocab more effectively now and delving into the topic with some nice lines and the flow is better


    Sell your soul to the hell portal just to have a voice
    ^that was ill..from what i concurred anyway

    They tried to put a limit on poetry - no "live and let die"
    But my prose flows like the River Styx drip-dries
    ^another good couplet

    all round good..
    props

    fin
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  11. #11
    Tha Burnin Sensation 2hot2handle's Avatar
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    Damn motherfucker! I loved it. It started strong and made me say OOH. YOu make a good argument.

    This is dedicated to the politics who put God in a box
    Called it religion in a vision of a universal hollocaust - great beginning

    It was tight and damn u can piss off some conservatives here.

    Good structure. The vocab was good and made sense. YOu could of made it longer which would have made it better. Great metaphors and ya got me thinkin. Good job man. Try also to break some words down to make it more creative but this piece was good.

    Hit mine up, its called Stop the Separation.

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    "I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

    - Martin Luther King Jr.


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    View this from last year^

  12. #12
    better than legendary Neruda II's Avatar
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    Yup, you're still dope.

    I liked this because it had a message that was close to your heart. I could relate to it, something that I feel stronly about personally and you obviously feel the same way. This really spoke to me and it said "Fuck you!" like a subtle middle finger to the faces of those to try to force their beliefs on you. Your message and content stood out the most. While the imagery was strong, it was nothing amazing, save a couple of lines. Just great content here, I don't have to say much since I doubt that deep inside you really care what I think.
    murder murder

  13. #13
    Newbie
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    This is the best shit I have read unlike some of this bullshit on this site check out my shit i need some honest critisism from a real lyricist rather than a non verbal critic.....Gone

  14. #14
    has left h0mIcIde's Avatar
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    Very nice drop, feelin the vocabulary the way you worded it and the emotion put into it.
    Good concept and idea too, wasn't too long and didn't lose my interest.

  15. #15
    Wordbenders Jawn Raw's Avatar
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    nice short little read. stucture was good vocabulary was very good you show good emotion and very good imagery your complexity is shown well with using interesting words. overall i liked this read. i was feeling this. al though it was the first piece ive read of yours it was good i know you can do better though.

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