We Don't Care/Born to Kill and Queenstyle

[Born To Kill]

On a fictional tip...

BTK
The way I’m feeling has me reeling, I can’t a soul tell...
Cuz I’m concealing secret meetings in this secluded hotel.
Someplace quiet, someplace safe, that doesn’t know my face...
It’s the only way fate lets me partake in her embrace.
I’m fake. A fraud...so good at lying I could earn applause.
Even I’m awed at what I’ll say to get to play with this broad.
We’re flawed is the perception, that’s our reason for deception...
If we married and you missed the wedding...
......................You’d mistake her for my daughter at reception.
But upon closer inspection, you’d see it’s real between us...
And no, we’re not the same age, but love don’t care bout convenience.
Now I know I’m no genius, but with our success, I flirt...
Mornings for her’ll mean college, for me they’ll mean work.
But what could hurt this old fool is the youth in her school...
Why go from vibrant to enlightened when learning’s the rule?
It’s a jewel to cherish, first time’s like marriage, but none of that’s new...
I’ve been there before, already know the score, anything with her’s a redo.
Yet I know I care, way more than I dare cuz her smile lights me up...
And it just feels brighter when I’m beside her...
...............................Thinking bout our ages...and not giving a fuck.

Queen
Age ain't nothin but a number, that can't change the way I feel
…So what if I'm young ? …. doesn’t mean my love ain't real
I come home from college, you come home from work
We 2 different people, but in the past we’ve been hurt
……He once had a wife, & I once had a man
it’s better to move on and start over again
……People always bother us because of age
not minding their business, filling my mind with rage
Every time I hold your hand, & every time I see your face
They won’t leave us alone, why cant they get off my case?
It doesn’t even matter, can’t they see that we don’t care
how can seeing two people in love be so much to bear?
Take me somewhere nice & quiet, baby take me out of town
I just wanna make love to you , baby let me love you down
One day we’ll find happiness with no one in the way
……..I’ll be wakin up beside you every night & day
We’ll be finally married, free and happy at last……
I made my own decisions ……without needing to ask
…………It’s only you & I , with no one to impress
always been the same, bout what they think I can care less

The End

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=203204&page=2
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=203570

[Edicius.]

nice piece, i liked btk's part the most though, nice immagery and a better way of writing .. i feld the styles didnt match that well, but it didnt seem forced or any thing .. short but worth reading, nice collab

and queeny, try to ditch the simple rhyme sheme .. it was aight, but i could read btk has a more elevated style of writing

props.

[Born To Kill]

Thanks for reading it...

Bump!

[Colby Cain]

yea BTK's verse was a lil betta but my girl came correct too. Great concept and ya did it justice
BTK: Nice-vocab
imagery
Queen: Nice-flow
emotion


Vote battle against knuckles, u wont regret http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=203978

[CaseClosed]

I liked the whole concept of the song. Both verses were equally respectable. BTK came a little harder with his. Keep on trying to perfect ya flow and never give up.

[Q.S]

Yea, our styles are quite different,
mine is more simplistic and BTK's is
more advanced!


Always lookin' 4 more feedback!

[Edicius.]

yea thanks for giving me some feed bcak on my OM

[Dan Dare]

I kinda liked this; wasn't crazy creative really, but not badly written at all. I would've liked more of a plot, although it had a story ... it was quite static really, not much actually happened, we got the background to the story, without any real details. I agree with UNiQuE that Queen's rhyme scheme's were quite bland as well. Decent shit though. Keep writing.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=203840

[Q.S]

Thanx! More feedback.

[Born To Kill]

Bumpity!

[Born To Kill]

I said bump, damnnit!

[Q.S]

Don't worry, more feed will come!

[Born To Kill]

Doesn't look like it, sweetie!

People are lame in here...

[sILLable]

this was an ill piece...i enjoyed reading it too.......i liked both verse no doubt......al in all the collab was ill....btk's verse was ill,i liked your complexity,but not too complex and your vocab was tight....i liked tha way you worded this..it flowed very smoothly....structure was tight.your verse was tight.....Queens verse was ill as well....i liked her vocab,even though it was a bit simpler and less complex it was still ill,i liked tha imagery both of you used in this piece.....structure was tight....all in all this piece was well put together and you both flowed together well.keep droppin tha hottness.~1~


maybe yall could critique a couple of my pieces, there gettin slept on, there in my sig,thanks.

[Born To Kill]

Thanks, dude!